Step Three Questions - Al-Anon (submitted by Dot)

John · Member

Step Three Questions - Al-Anon (submitted by Dot)

Rita G · Member

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

1. How do I know who or what my Higher Power is?

My HP is my very best Friend. That Friend is ever changing, developing and growing or maybe I am just becoming more aware of the wonderful characteristics that my HP possesses.

2. How can I stop thinking, trying and considering and actually make a decision?

By trusting that my HP knows what is best for me. Having that trust is scary, but doing what I have always done will get me what I have always gotten - So why not give something different a chance.

3. How can I stop myself from taking my will back?

Continued conscious contact with my HP with prayer and meditation.

4. How can I turn a situation over and let go of the results?

By asking my HP to help me. If the situation is about a person, sometimes a mental picture of that person in an innocent state, before the disease, giving them to their HP helps me turn them over to the God of my understanding.
Such as picturing my daughter as a pre-teen, innocent, loving to read books. I picture her snuggled in her favorite PJ's on God's sofa reading a book, while God lightly, lovingly strokes her hair. This mental image makes me feel a little more at peace about letting go of her and letting my HP have her in His care.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

wallsal55 · Member

I am in need of review of this Step. For me, turning my will and my life over has meant turning over my thoughts, feelings and actions over to my HP. (my Will)   Turning my life over means doing the things--taking the actions-- that pretty much seem to come from guidance from my higher power.   Trusting my intuition again and trusting myself. I am not perfect, and I still mess up, but trusting that inner voice that comes from my HP occurs more often than not.
Turning my life over, has not meant doing what I want all the time. If I turn my life over, I seem to get exactly what I need, not what I want.   I always want to tantrum when I don't get what I want---feel like a kid who cannot get an ice cream cone on a hot day!   But I am now starting to see that as I continue to get what I need, a few of the 'wants' just take care of themselves or seem to happen unexpectedly and spontaneously--without out my 'planning' it all.

That's all I can comment on, our one daughter has a challenge ahead with cancer cells in her jaw, we believe to be early diagnosis.   So, turning things over----will be a daily now.

-- Edited by wallsal55 at 20:10, 2007-06-25

ack · Member

John wrote:

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

Decision made, I have to learn and re-learn how to do this. It is a moment-by-moment thing.

For instance, I was getting irritable and judgemental. I had to re-learn to bless people (pray for them). This may sound more like another step, but it is also step 3. When I am turning my will and my life over to the care of God, it is not up to me to take care of anyone else. That would be in a positive or negative manner. Whether taking care of them by judging or by fixing. So whenever I find myself upset at people, I pray: "God Bless Sally". Fortunately, it works quickly when practiced consistently.

Another recent example is disappointment, dismay, or unmet expectations. When I find myself upset at events, I say: "Another opportunity for the greater good." This reminds me that God is on the job. Definitely a step 3 practice.

best,

laurel

-- Edited by ack at 16:01, 2007-06-27

-- Edited by ack at 16:10, 2007-06-27

Vicky R · Senior Member

From: Courage to Change pg. 240 (copyright 1992 , by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

" When I was dealing with alcoholism without the help of Alanon , I developed coping skills . these are no longer enough. Alanon is teaching me a new and better set of skills. I will try to be patient with myself. I am doing fine . "

hi Dot John and everyone , thanks for all the shares and ESH ( experience strength & hope ) . And varied points of view. This quote is good for me today and I see also that people learn the programme in their own way and pace . Some people don't even have an HP ! they can still trust other tools of the programme as long as they are respectful to other members and the programme I guess isn't it ,

llol Vickyr x

Blessed · Senior Member

Step 3
Al-Anon Made a decision to turn our life and our WILL over to the care of GOD.

Respect is a Wonderful part of Recovery and of growing up with Respect for yourself and for others.

I can remember a time that I had no respect for anyone, anything, not myself, not others. Every other word that came from my mouth was a cuss word and that to me was normal. Today I find it offensive and disgusting. However it may take root when I am tired and pop out of my own mouth at home. That is surely wrong! Isn't it? I am praying for Forgiveness and help with it.

I grew up in an Alcoholics home. So what that is like many of you know already depending what type of Alcoholic you are with. Because they are all different drinkers. We have the moderate, binge, maintenance, jekyl and hyde, so on.

We roll play in an alcoholic home. Out of 4 children in our family I was always the one that calmed the storm in my Parents life. No one else could calm the alcoholic like this 5,6,7,8,9,10, so on year old could. When I became older it seemed that I wanted to listen to everything going on inside my parents lives that way I could understand or try to understand what to do when the Drinking ooccured. So I could again HELP MOM and rescue everyone else. When he came home raging drunk.

On Step Three. Please "TRUST GOD" give him the LIFE you have so you can go forward on the next 8 Steps. Trust isn't something that comes easy to a child, wife, mother, sister, aunt, neice or daughter of an alcoholic. If your a man it would be a Child, husband, Dad, brother, uncle, nephew.

We should start with GOd because he LOVES US and HE CARES. I am a LIVING TESTIMONY.

Oh, I am not saying I was Mary Poppins over night, oh no contrair. But I was changing for the better as the person that GOd created in me was growing up.

In my life today My parent is almost 19 years Sober, I am Born Again with 13 1/2 years in Recovery Clean and Sober, I am married and happy, so Miracles do happen.

May you all be richly Blessed,

Blessed

-- Edited by Blessed at 07:53, 2007-08-21

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