Eight Step Questions

dott · Member

Eight Step Questions

Blessed · Senior Member

EIGHT STEP QUESTIONS?

!. NO, I have had to make more than one list over the years. One was when I was first Sober over my drinking 13.8 years ago.
Then another 2 1/2 years ago with my SPonsor over People that I had resentments over.

2. N/A

3. YES. Being willing is just what the word say's. It is to have an open HEART and to start writting down the names of people we have harmed from our Fourth Step. Or any others that we missed or that came up since then.

4. YES. When I stick my nose in someone else's business it can lead to advice, criticism, gossip, jealousy, resentments, conflict, etc.

Pamela

florence · Member

great questions! i have not got to grips with this step yet. well, i've made some attempts but this is a good way to pin it down. i have to remind myself there is no perfect way to do the steps and my best attempt will be fine with my hp. i can always improve on it as more awareness comes. hmm

thanks dott

shimo · Member

1.    No I have never resisted making this list.

2.    I have not resisted making amends.  I have learned in Al-Anon that I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and because of this I need to own and make amends for only that which is mine.

3.    Yes, I do understand Step 8 is asking me to make a list and become "willing" the actual making of amends follows in Step 9.

4.     Oh yes, I have come to learn that what I perceived as lending a helping hand by offering my opinion and direction to another is, in actual fact, not minding my own business.  My life is manageable when I keep the focus on myself and "my" recovery.

luckylady · Newbie

Hi, I was just trying out the step board. Someone emailed me a few weeks ago and I decided to give it a whirl. I have my 8th step list that I keep as an "open" format for additional persons that I have harmed as they are brought to my mind by my Higher Power. I followed the advice of some of the old timers that suggested I start with the 3 column principle. That is, amends that are obvious and glaring, ones that I might make someday and one's that I will never be able to make.
I am convinced that the relief that comes from starting on the list in Step 9, will prompt you to continue on. I pray about the list regularly and God has put several opportunities right on the table, right in front of me to make ASAP (at that moment). I have done a few, but I don't really delibretly go about looking for people. It has happend as a more natural process for this addict. I have been clean a little over 2 years and it has taken every bit of this time to become prepared for these steps. After using for 30 years I have a pretty good size list!!!!Ya know what I mean?

Baffled · Member

Eight Step - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

1. I resisted making a list because it's hard to admit that I did something wrong or hurt someone. I felt defensive and like I would be showing weakness to have caused anyone pain.

2. Most people on my list I am willing to make amends to. I will try to make amends to some people who I have never seen eye to eye with. I could speak to them but I know it will be ignored and the response will be negative. Their behaviors just don't seem safe to me.

3. I do understand that to be willing means that I accept my part in the matter and that being willing to approach someone is different than actually trying to repair my damages.

4. I now recognize that my trying to run someone else's life may have caused unintentional damages or pain to others. I am becomming aware of my need to detach, both for my own well being and to let others make their own mistakes and act on their own decisions.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.