Thank you for posting Step Three. 

Prior to beginning my Alanon program two years, I hadn't practiced living in faith for many years.  I would say my faith was almost non existent.  I lived most of my life in fear -- fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment, fear of being alone.  Because of my fears, I developped a huge need to control most everything and everyone around me.  I didn't see it as control at the time, but I sure do now.  I spent a lot of days worrying about future outcomes instead of being grateful for the many wonderful things in my life and enjoying each day for what it had to offer.  My life was a mess and I was miserable.

In the past, because of my education and personal beliefs I didn't believe in something that couldn't be scientifically proven.  Honestly, I used to believe that faith was was just something other people used when they didn't want to take charge of their own lives. 

After working my Alanon program for two years, my life is completely different.  My faith in my HP (for me it's a Christian God), has literally changed my life.  And, the best thing is, if I want actual proof that God exists, all I have to do is look at the results of what believing in God has done for me.  I've learned to set healthy boundaries, I've learned to feel truly grateful for everything in my life, I've learned to stop worrying about the outcomes of every situation and focus on living my life the best I can just for today.

To me, having faith doesn't mean I get to just sit back and wait for God to do all these wonderful things for me.  I still have to do the best I can everyday to solve my own problems. I just don't have to do it alone.  Faith means I don't have to know all the answers.  I know that God has a wonderful plan for my life and as long as I work hard to take care of what I can, He will take care of what I can't. 

Today, because of Alanon and my HP I feel hope, peace and joy.  That's my proof that faith works.

Peace,

Jane

I have read in our literature that some members shorten the first three steps to; "I can't, God can, I'll let Him....works for me!!!

Seriously now, in this step we are asked to make a decision..a decision to turn our will and lives over to His care.  The choice is ours; no one else can make it for us.  For me, turning my will and life over was the easiest part.  My problem was I kept taking it all back!  As long as I keep taking it back, I am not going forward in my recovery.  To truly turn my will and my life over to God means that I put the outcome in God's hands and leave it there! 

Everyday I ask God to guide me, help me focus on His will for me and give me the strength to carry that out.  Step 3, for me, is very freeing because I am focusing on myself in the areas that need footwork and leaving the responsibility for my loved ones to God...that can only spell relief for me.  I am relieved of my over-developed sense of responsibility to care for others, to fix them, to direct them, to get into their business, to solve their problems and all that other "stuff" that goes along with martyrdom, mothering, smothering, managing, manipulating and the like!!!

Whew, what relief to do my best and let God take care of the rest!

Yours in recovery - Shimo (Jeri)

I have no choice but to turn my will and life over to God. For sanity it's all I can do today, this moment, now.

My life has been without ground beneath my feet for the past ten months that my "A" has been sober. I have no idea what each day will bring, I can only trust that all of this including what is best for me, for him, for us is in His hands.

My recovery journey is running wild on me, I am working so many issues inside of me regarding codependancy, abandonment, faith, trust, isolation, abuse, you name it. All of these issues and more come, sometimes alot esp when I am tired.

I've worked so many years on me, just not the recent-most years. And in that time there has been alot of sickness gaining back root in my soul.

To be healthy I have to be happy and okay alone. I can't be that without giving God the steering wheel and having faith that he's going to get me where I need to be unharmed. And I have come to know that my answers may not be His, and I have to be okay with that. This for me is ONLY possible by doing stepwork.

Seperation with my "A" as a necessary part of his recovery has been really hard. He chose to live away from me because he wants to hunker down and really cope with addiction minute to minute without focusing the insanity of his struggles on me or the kids "as if" we are the problem and not his addiction.

As I give without fear the freedom and space to him for his recovery, he's able to grow in a positive and self-affirming way that will bless him, which is the most important thing. It can also come back to me a million-fold someday, if that is God's will. As I trust God to be with him and me, and trust in Him that if WE are supposed to be we will be, I give God the freedom to move in both of our lives powerfully, and without resistance or conflict.