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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Al-Anon Step 9
Post Info TOPIC: Al-Anon Step 9
Jen


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Al-Anon Step 9
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Ok, not a moderator here either, but I see we are working on step 9 or 10 so I'll get it going.

Step 9: Made direct amends to those we had harmed wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

From: Al-Anon's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - pg 57 - (copyright 1981, by Al-Anon Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

Quote:
"We also made amends when we showed interest in anothers' well-being, activities, and achievements. Thoughtful courtesies suggested a basic change in our in our own attitudes and the way we behaved toward others."

So Step 9 means to me not just saying I'm sorry, but changing the way I interact to show them how I feel. Also, sometimes it may be impossible to make an amends directly, but changing ourselves to prevent a similar injury from happening to anyone in the future is an appropriate way to make amends.

Making amends to me has been freeing. It has helped to further stop the niggling guilt and second guessing that undermines my self esteem and slows my recovery.

Love in recovery,

-- Edited by Jen at 07:01, 2008-07-21

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Jen
Vicky R


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From: Paths to Recovery - pg 92 - (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

" The key is that we do not avoid making amends in order to spare ourselves discomfort - that will only increase our guilt and prevent our healing. In some cases, we need to stop doing something, such as gossiping, complaining or controlling. In all cases, when we are not sure which type of amends is called for, we remember that making direct amends is our responsibility except when someone else would be harmed. We pray for guidance as we approach each task. It helps to call our sponsor to check out our intentions and to talk about what we have in mind. A sponsor can help us to look at our motives and to plan our approach "

Hi Jen thanks good to see people studying the quotes. Yours is a wonderful choice. Nothing quite compares to making a genuine amend that has been prepared with the guidelines (and praying meaning trusting in a force of our choice) Thanks also to everyone that has shared recently it's been a particularly good read,

llol Vickyr

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-- Edited by Vicky R at 23:19, 2008-07-25

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