Help needed. An 18 year old girl trying to beat depression.

MelissaMetalHead · Newbie

Help needed. An 18 year old girl trying to beat depression.

Vicky R · Senior Member

Hi Melissa,

be assured that the programme emphasises that it is not a religious one. Talk of Higher Powers is very individual, it's recommended that we look at our beliefs and try to focus on something that is a gentle force. Sound like your choice would be appropriate. Also given your age, while you might find online sharing helpful I would also suggest that you contact your local headquarters where you might be able to get a properly screened sponsor. That can take responsibility for guiding you in the programme. Or they might be able to get you an online one too.

good luck in this journey and read you again soon,

llol Vickyr

Jen · Member

Melissa,
Welcome to MIP!
Your post sounds soo much like I felt when I first came to the step board. I was a bit turned off to the steps at first because of the religious aspect that some people can not help but bring to the forum. I realize now that in early recovery it is really hard to find the line between religion and spirituality for some.

My understanding of a higher power is very similar to what you have described. I personally do not believe in a god either. I believe that the power greater than me is the power in us all, in the earth and every living thing. I believe there is a natural order to this world and I am a part of that. My belief in surrendering my will in the 3rd step is that I can fight against that natural order, or I can align myself with it. I dont have to know why everything happens, I only need to let go of things that are not my business (and have a very narrow view of what IS my business), and let the world work itself out. When I pray for guidance it is to the collective power of the world. I picture in my mind the earths' collective intelligence and me tuning myself in to that.

This is only my view and, of course, you may take what you like and leave the rest. I hope it helps. We all have to work out our own idea of a HP. It is very individual and personal. The only other thing I could add is be patient with yourself, and just dig in. You will find what feels right for you.

In recovery,

Jen

MelissaMetalHead · Newbie

Thank you all so much.
Jen, I agree with your thoughts on a higher power. The only thing I don't understand is HOW to give myself over. I understand why, just not how. I do believe in everything you say. I may be thinking too hard on it, and it could be right in front of me. I suppose I should just let things be and when I "pray" I talk to the Earth itself and hope to be in it's circle, be included in everything it has to offer life. That's what I came up with while thinking.
Thanks again.

MollyB · Newbie

Hi, Melissa -

Are you checking back in to the forum? If so, let me know.

Will write this just in case you're around:

Between beginning in "Program" and a few years ago, my higher power got turned on its head. (Don't worry, this doesn't mean it will happen to you.)

When I came into another program at 18, I was VERY religious! I was able to respect the non-religious aspects of the program. It felt very compatible with my religion at the time. Fortunately, I was in meetings that were pretty hostile to Christians, so that gave me good training in focusing on unity and experiencing the respect others showed me by not trying to "de-convert" me.

Now I'm not religious at all, and have entirely new ways of understanding every aspect of the spiritual part of the program. The "g-d tawk" in the basic literature is symbolic for me; it's the language the people composing it had at the time. In some areas, Al-Anon gets very church-y. That's not Al-Anon talking, but we're all human. Still, that kind of meeting would not be a match for me.

~ Molly

Jen · Member

I totally agree, Molly. Thanks for you thoughts.

In recovery,

bri4444 · Newbie

Hi Melissa

What helped me with step 3 and the "God" thing was when someone shared that they just thought of "God" as being a good orderly direction. I really had a problem with the of my understanding to, as I found I did not understand most of what I thought God was or wasn't doing. Rather then putting up road blocks to my recovery by trying to figure everything out, for me to have success I needed to accept and surrender. Somethings I heard that helped me are "Serenity is giving up my need to understand" and "the only things I need to know about God is that there is one and it is not me!" Hopefully I am not too off topic, but for me I found that I was making it harder then it was by not really getting how simple it is. I do not have to do anything in this step. As the old saying goes, 3 birds were on a wire, one decided to fly off, How many are left? Still 3, the bird only made a decision. It took me years to get it into my head, that they best way to really do step 3 is by making the decision and moving to step 4. These things really helped me in my recovery, I hope you can take what you like and leave the rest in your recover. T & P Bri.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.