Further to a brief discussion on the other boards, I will be posting information I have found regarding the steps which has helped me to better understand them here for all that would like to use.  On a separate post but at the same time I will post the questions to ask yourself and hopefully encourage some discussion amongst us on what the steps mean to us and how we are taking each step.  Hope this helps, anyways all here is Step 1.

Step 1 of 12 Steps

 


I realize I'm stuck. It makes no sense to keep trying to solve my problems with "solutions" that aren't working.

Original wording (AA):
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
Codependency:
We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Generic version:
We admitted we were powerless over things we believed we should control -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

Stuck on the road

Say we're driving on a dirt road, and our car gets stuck in the mud. It won't move an inch, no matter how much gas we give it. We keeps trying and trying - nothing's happening except noise and fumes.

After much frustration, we finally realize it just won't do anything to keep using the gas pedal. We have to try something else. We've got to think of other ways to get unstuck.

Maybe we'll try going in reverse? Or we’ll step out and put something under the wheels so they’ll grip onto it? Maybe we'll try stopping other cars to get people to help us push the car? Or get somebody to call a tow truck?

What step 1 is about:

Somebody once said: If the only tool you have is a hammer, you try to solve everything by hammering. This also goes when we think the only tool we have is a hammer.

At first, we  couldn’t think of anything else to do than to give more gas. We were so sure there was no other possible solution that we couldn’t take in the obvious fact that this "solution" didn’t work. We believed a solution that doesn’t solve anything is better than no solution at all.

At some point, however, we finally had to acknowledge that pushing the gas pedal didn’t work. We were left with the emptiness we were dreading – facing the absence of solution. Surprisingly, out of this emptiness came an abundance of unexpected ideas.

We thought it was the end of the road - it was the beginning of the journey.

Time for a new beginning

How do we deal with the frutrations, the pain, hurt and anger that we experience?

The first step is to acknowledge that what we're doing isn't working.

When we do this, we start to feel some relief. We don't have to put so much tension into knowing all the answers. We don't have to know the road before we travel it.