How do I feel about Step Two?    Welll...  It was an awakening!.  It was as if Steps One, Two and Three were there all at once.  (but I had more homework and bookwork to do later in alanon!).

One evening at bedtime, I was at my bottom and had this realization:

I had felt sooooooooo defeated that all I wanted was freedom from all the pain, anger and grief.  To continue on as I was-- getting absolutely nowhere --spinning wheels in the mud --would certainly  lead to a suicidal path or insanity--the feelings were that deep.   In that moment, as I tightly gripped the spindle in our antique Jenny Lind bed, it was as if my Higher Power said through a quiet intuitive way--wallsal, here's a rope, grab it, hang on, this is the way to go.   I felt I had no more power over my situation, and yep, I was going to grab on to this glimmer of hope that seemed to be a Higher Power.   A powerful, warm, comforting, intuitive thought!

  Since I found my relief in that moment, I knew Someone  was looking after me, directing me away from the self-defeating, self-destructive path to a different direction.  I told myself I was giving up the path of despair for the one where I would be led. 

     When I heard Step Two read for the first time....a power greater than myself could restore me to SANITY...

That was sooooooooo comforting.  I was behaving any which way I could to change my situation.  (Anything bordering on insane!)   Nothing worked.  How simple, how soothing, to just turn it over and let Somebody else do the work or help me, if I do my part of the program.