Need a bit of direction on the 4th Step

DorothyG · Newbie

Need a bit of direction on the 4th Step

AGO · Member

umm, I really can't add anything to what The big book says

list all the people you have any sort of resentment with

list all your fears

list everyone you had sex/a relationship with, you needn't list band camp one night stands or blackout sex

go back and start writing, you will be amazed at whet will come out once you start writing

Mom

I love her

there was that one time ....

and then, that time.......

and hmm, i'm remembering.....

and then....

God DAM^$#&^%$&(^p(*&^}(&*&%&o%^$o&^o*&!!!! ()*&^%(&^%$(*^% !!!!&*)(^)(^&$(*^@#*^%#$&^^{(*&^&i*u$*^%$

put pen to paper and start writingm, it will come

do a web search for Joe and Charlie , hold on, at this site:

XA Speakers

look in the AA speakers for Joe and Charlies Big Book seminars, I'd suggest listening to the whole thing frankly, if your sponsor is unable to explain a fourth step, but you can just jump ahead to the 4th step ones if you want

DorothyG · Newbie

Thank you for responding. I don't think its my sponsor, I thinks its me. Just complicating it because I fear ever going back to where I was and wanting to get it done right.

I've actually been stuck on it for a week, thinking and rethinking. Then yesterday all this "stuff" just started coming to me. I fear putting it to paper as my journals have been violated several times. But I can keep it typed on pc in a private folder. I guess that would be a fear and resentment in itself. lol

I appreciate you replying. Obviously I'm new at this AA thing. I did have 12 years of sobriety before though. I was really active with my church. It will take awhile for me to fully trust my sponsor, even though I know she is very good for me.

I will listen to Joe and Charlie and thank you for recommending them.

Jerry F · Veteran Member

Aloha Dorothy...We all had to start somewhere and for me I was told I also had time
and would probably want to do better over time and that is exactly what happened
with my forth step(s)....all six of them. What really worked for me was to understand
what the conditions were that were needed...Searching       Fearless      Moral. Good
ole Merriam Webster helped a little especially on what was moral and surrendering
into trust of my sponsors worked tons. It was important to them to help me do my
best because it was their own recovery that they were expressing and practicing as
I was starting the journey.   Patience was very necessary as was humility which you
have practice here by reaching out and asking for help.   Open-mindedness was a
huge tool and along with patience I started to fearlessly review my past with honesty.
Honesty is needed...Did I do that stuff and why did it do that stuff and why did I do
that stuff that way? Searching.

You have to start somewhere so do the best with what you got and who is there
to guide you...you will want to look at your lack of trust and spread that out in
front of yourself. Trust is a very large foundation stone in good, long term sobriety.
Trust your HP, Trust your sponsor, Trust the fellows in the program, Trust Dorothy
that she can and will get it done as best she can this time.

That is a part of my 4th step journey.    In support ((((hugs)))) smile

ME2BRANDIE · Newbie

the things that you dont want to remember the most. they are normally the ones I still have held on to (and have anger to) the most. plus it could be your self, your dead who ever, or even your HP. Plus you have to start at the top and finishes all the way across on just that one.No matter how many times you have to do another line on that person(another;self;or HP) you have got to keep each one of them separate. you cant get the full effect if you do not do this step in order. That is how my rehab showed me and I was having the same problem you are(it sounds like) and after I was done I had a small book. lol Hope it helps. ME2BRANDIE

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