Hello Me2Brandie!

Welcome to MIP!  What 12 step program are you working?

For me, with my sponsor, I didn't have to "do" anything external for step 3.  It was all internal.  I had to become willing to turn it over.  It was so internal it was kind of scary.  For this to be successful I couldn't do it for anyone else.  There was no right or wrong.  I had to be completely honest with myself and become willing . . .

Are you working with a sponsor?

In the Big Book of AA here is what is says:

We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: God, I offer myself to Theeto build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always! We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Taken from: http://silkworth.net/bb/howitworks.html

In the 12 & 12 (12 step and 12 traditions) it expands on that, but there are still no tasks to be completed on paper etc.  Same with the Al-Anon Paths to Recovery.  In the book I used for Codependents, it did have questions at the end to answer - but again - they are just affirmations about the step and things to get you thinking more about it.

Let me stress, there is no right or wrong here . . . well unless you think your willpower alone is going to resolve your issue . . . has it worked so far?

For me, steps 1 - 3 are one big paint stroke - a single sentence with a few pieces of puntuation to seperate them (not literally):

"Ok, I give up - my way isn't working and my life is crazy.  I need to ask for help and then be willing to accept it."  Now I am sure that others are smacking their foreheads at that - but this is how simple it is for me.  Let go.  Accept there is a better way and be willing to try it to the end with utter abandon and willingness.

There are a few step 3 posts here that may be helpful.  Someone may be willing to correspond with you via email and go over your step 3 work. 

Just my take.  I would love to expand on this thread and hear how it is going for you, see if you have any questions.  I think we could ALL learn from it.

As for your fourth step, when I sponsor I start at step 1 and work the entire program through with someone.  Are you going to local meetings?  Have you tried to find a face to face sponsor?  I think it is WONDERFUL you are doing the steps and am by no means saying you are doing it wrong.  I can just tell you it was so much easier for me with a sponsor.  My first sponsor had 30 years in AA.  My current sponsor has 25 years in AA and many also in Al-Anon.  Their experience has been invaluable to me.

I am so glad you are here.  Please keep coming back.

Tricia

-- Edited by tlcate on Monday 7th of June 2010 05:11:11 AM