Step 3

tlcate · Veteran Member

Step 3

hotrod · Guru

Hi MIP Family

Step Three was a logical progression from my initial surrender in Step 1. IN the first step, I was completely defeated in all parts of my life. My coming to accept that I always believed in a Higher Power in step 2 and then to actually saying "OK HP I will stop fighting for my way, my rights, my desires and I will let it all go and accept what is to be. So that what HP wants I also want. The decision to turn my will over is what this steps asks of me. I was always concerned about turning my will over because I was afraid that HP would ask that I do something very hard that I would definitely fail at and that I would not get what I really wanted in life. I was defeated at this point of my life and knew that my way could not work and I needed to trust that HP's way which may not be want I now wanted would be something that HP would give me the power to handle.

In the beginning I had no idea how to turn my will over. My sponsor suggested that I use the alanon slogans each day in an attempt to align my will with HP. I was told to Live One day at a Time, Pray, Focus on Myself, Let go of gossip,negative thoughts, criticism, be kind, gentle compassionate to people I met. That was a tall order but it kept me busy and I soon fund that my many negative attitudes were slipping away. I realized that I was putting out more constructive actions and thoughts into the world and less of my old negative vibes that I so enjoyed sharing before.

I have been in alanon many, many 24 hours and each day I begin the day with the 3rd Step prayer and know that HP will carry me thru the day if I continue to show up and do my part.

I have had much joy during my years in this program: a wonderful career, a beautiful son, a successful marriage, great trips to foreign lands, nice fancy cars and houses and I have known many painful losses, the death of both my son and husband one from cancer one from alcoholism. Thru it all my HP has been by my side giving me the courage, serenity and wisdom to go on one more day.

Thank you for letting me share

Desirae · Veteran Member

Step 3... become willing to turn it over!... not my strong point... fellow control freak here but I am slowly learning... a "God Box" has been essential for me here... prayers and hugs to the group.

failte · Member

Tricia thats a very good idea that perhaps could help newbies who dont believe in God, to just keep their minds open and do the work.

Its very understandable that people will suffer greatly with doubt about God, after all there is so much hurt and suffering in this life, and its hard to believe sometimes that a loving God does exist, even for those who are believers, so if they were struggling as non believers perhaps to just begin by having an open mind even announce that the program is their HP for that moment.

Even though I am a believer, Step 3 is still a revealtion to me in that, although I have already turned my life over to God, my marriage, my health, my wealth etc etc, I now see through this site that I was being a control freak in that I tried so hard to monitor my sons and husbands drinking, I constantly obsessed about it, what day they might drink, how much they would spend, how much they would drink, even down to counting their drinks etc etc,

a lot of this is due to the anxiety I suffer from, and wanting to control a situation I knew would get out of hand due to their drinking, trying to protect myself or keep myself safe, as when my parents drank when I was a child, very bad things happened, my husband and sons drinking would trigger all this and I would go back to being a child and try to "control" the scary situation I was in and protect myself.

I also had very big trust issues and found it hard to trust a God who had let all that happen to me and now hand over my life to him, but felt at such peace when I did, being honest, I wasnt doing a great job with my life, so why not let someone/something else try, and thank God it worked,

however, due to my anxiety I am going to be very very strict with Step 3 on a daily basis because although my husband has stopped drinking and my son now moved out, I will still try to control or monitor them and obsess and focus on them, so I really will have to be very firm with this.

Hotrod, what is the Step 3 Prayer could you put it up here please?

Desirae, what is a God box?

thanks to all for posting

failte

hotrod · Guru

The above is the 11th step prayer which I sometimes use in the morning to start my day. I also use the St . Francis Prayer which is found on the back of the little Bookmark entitled "Just for Today"

That prayer I consider my 3rd step prayer. It asks that God make me an instrument of His peace. I know I cannot do this step without HPs help so both e prayers confirms that fact as well as my willingness but not my ability to do so

-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 8th of December 2010 07:58:33 PM

Desirae · Veteran Member

I love it Betty! Thank you!

grainne mhaol · Member

Step 3 is a step that I have taken with help of other AA members who have helped me turn it over. I have a pebble in my handbag with the words turn it over and then when I do it says, turn it over. I really need this step and really incorporate it into my prayer in the morning when I am asking my hp to keep me from a drink today. As I struggle with handing things over, it has become easier and it has become habituel to do this. It certainly works.

Rainspa · Member

Here is some help. This is how

Step No. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
________________________________________

In the first step we learned that we had lost the power of choice and had to make a decision.
What decision could we make better than to turn our very will over to God, realizing:
a. that our own use of our own will had resulted in trouble?

b.As in the Lord's Prayer, you must believe and practice thy will be done.
God as we understand Him.
Religion is a word we do not use in A.A. We refer to a member's relation to God as the spiritual. A religion is a form of worship - - not the worship itself.
If a man cannot believe in God he can certainly believe in something greater than himself. If he cannot believe in a power greater than himself he is a rather hopeless egotist.

Rainspa · Member

Step 3, all one has to do is make the decision.

You decide who is going to do a better job of running your life.

If you're like me, the best answer isn't "why, my job losing, cheating self".

sunflowergirl · Member

This wasn't so bad for me because I have a belief in a certain HP for me, and it was in place, I just wasn't praying to my HP anymore at the time I came to alanon. I already had a faith, but it had gotten swept away by 9 years of living with an abusive husband (now ex.) So coming to Alanon allowed that faith to open back up. I have faith. I will move on :)

Desirae · Veteran Member

Falite... a God Box... I have a decorative keep sake box that I use. I write down on a piece of paper what I know I need to turn over to God at that moment and I put it in the box. I suppose you could use any method of doing this. But I have found that making a physical gesture of handing things over to God helps me stay strong enough spiritually to hold myself accountable and actually hand it over. Many times I go through the slips of paper and write down in my journal what I believe I have accomplished. If there is a thought in there I have not yet turned over to God... I write it down again and put it right back in there. Sounded silly to me when I heard about it... but I was surprised to find that it is just what I needed.

failte · Member

Thanks for this Desirae and its not silly at all, i had posted on another threat about a gift box, putting all your worries in the gift box then giving it to God, so same theory, thanks again and I WILL use this!

failte

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