Step Nine - Questions

dot · Senior Member

Step Nine - Questions

captcodee · Member

Hmmmmm.....

This is a hard step for me. I worked for a gas station when I was 19/20, when I first met my now husband. he had a better paying job than I did, and we had quite the lifestyle. SO, since it was easy, I often slipped $20 bills into my pocket instead of the till. There was no way to tell if I was pocketing money, so I got away with it. I never got caught.

I often wonder if they knew. That is the amend that first comes to light every time I think of this step. I know that we don't have to do it if it will injure others, but I am not sure if it will. I like to justify myself to think that it might bring up things in the manager's heart that will cause her damage, but know for sure that I am just filling my head with garbage to avoid doing it.

You see, I am still friends with these people, and am not the person I was then. I honestly feel that if I was to apologize, then they would know that I wronged them, I suppose that means that I was injuring myself... "others".

But, if I was just to put a couple hundred dollars in an envelope with a Sorry Card, then perhaps I would feel better. They never have to know it was me, but I righted the wrong. Sure, it is 10 years later, but it is done.....

I dunno, thanks for listening.

dot · Senior Member

Hi - Interesting delemma you have.

When I was in doubt, I needed to remember that the amends were for me. I asked my Higher Power to guide me - to clear my mind so it was possible for me to make amends that would help me and not harm the other person. Then I let it go.

In time I was able to make the amends that I needed to for me and the weight was lifted.

Love in Recovery - Dot

Donnamaria · Newbie

I was actually afraid of this step, 4 was hard but it was all on paper. This step is actual face to face with the person or persons. One thing I did keep in mind was, It doesn't matter what they say back, if they forgive or not, this is for me to clean my side of the street.As I went down my list I do know there are a few people who I can't do it with cause it's not safe to do so (ex husband, ex monster in law) My mother was the first one I went to and it went better then expected, I wasn't there to say I was sorry, I wakas there to say what I did wrong and to make peace with her. I had another who down right told me where to go, but I was ok with it , cause since I cleaned my side of the street it's out of my hands and it's on them, The weight is lifted . So I am doing this step very slowly and picking who is safe to do this with and who to wait.

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