Fourth Step of Alcoholics Anonymous

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

I have written 3 fourth steps the first was in treatment and I was not very aware of my defects at the time.  I looked at the guide given to me and tried to follow it.  I was to grandiose, one of the items listed, to ask what many of the terms meant.  But I wrote the best step I could at that time.  About 6 months into the program I wrote another fourth step.  This one had much more meaning to it as I was out of the fog and I did not let pride and fear stand in my way.  The third fourth step I wrote was several years into my sobriety and was for a cleanup.  All three of these fourth steps were necessary; all were done to the best of my ability at the time.  None were done improperly or wrong.  If you do the best you can at the time no more can be asked of you.   I do not believe that any step is done wrong or wasted if you can honestly say you have done the best you can.

The fourth step seems daunting to most of us.  To examine ourselves in such detail to write down our resentments and transgressions many of these our deepest secrets.   However the result from a through cleansing is a feeling you cannot understand until you have completed it.  This step is a keystone to our recovery program it releases us from the bondage of resentment.   As we begin this step we need to remember what the Big Book tells us.

 RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path  We thought we could find an easier, softer way.  But we could not.  With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start...  Half measures availed us nothing.  Big book pgs 58 and 59.

Do not let your pride or fear stand in the way of taking this step.  The 12 x 12 tells us.  Pride says, you need not pass this way, and fear says, You dare not look! But the testimony of A.A.'s who have really tried a moral inventory is that pride and fear of this sort turn out to be bogeymen, nothing else. Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls upon this foggy scene.  As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable.  These are the first fruits of Step Four.  12 x 12 pg 49 

This is what the Big Book has to say about resentments.  Resentment is the 'number one' offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with who we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, (including sex) were hurt or threatened.  Big Book pg 64

Other defects can and will lead us down a slippery slope but resentment is the number one offender.  This is why the Big Book begins the 4th step guide looking at resentments in detail the how and why of them.  It is very important in writing your fourth step to follow the guide on page 65 of the Big Book.

Now lets ponder the need for a list of the more glaring personality defects all of us have in varying degrees .  To avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, lets take a universally recognized list of major human failings the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. 12 x 12 pg 48

The AA program is based on spiritual principals and spiritual progress.  The seven deadly sins are transgressions that are fatal to spiritual progress.  Through our fourth step we examine how these defects have affected our lives and our spiritual growth.  Without removal of these blocks to our spiritual progress we are limited in how far this program can take us we may not get sober

The final step in our fourth step inventory is to look at some of our positive qualities. 

The sponsor probably points out that the newcomer has some assets which can be noted along with his liabilities. This tends to clear away morbidity and encourage balance. As soon as he begins to be more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly, rather than fearfully, look at his own defects. 12 x 12 pg 46. 

I have found it extremely helpful to follow this advice.  When I have completed a session of writing my resentments, defects, etc. I was always emotionally drained and as I looked at the list I had written it was depressing.  So I began to end each session by writing some of my assets.  Look again at the list of the Seven Deadly Sins and look for their antonyms, words with the opposite meaning, i.e. pride the anatomy is humility.  This besides lifting my spirits gave me areas to improve on as these defects were removed. 

Please share your experience, strength and hope from your fourth step.