From the workbook

Removal of Defects of Character
For the removal of our defects of character,we sit in a relaxed position and concentrate on becoming entirely willing. We also become willing to integrate our survival traits. We may meditate and pray. When we are ready, we repeat the Seventh Step Prayer for each defect or survival trait we wish to have removed or integrated. Do not be concerned if you are not clear if you are addressing a defect or survival trait. (HP) will understand. Humbly as (HP) as you understand (HP) to remove your defects of character.

Prayer 1
I am now ready that you should remove from me all my defects of character, which block me from acccepting your divine love and living with true humility toward others. Renew my strength so that I might help myself and others along this path of recovery.

Possible defects: SElf centredness, judgementalness, procrastination, perfectionism, envy, greed, lust, feeling superior, dishonestly and pettiness

Prayer 2 - Laundry List Traits
I am now ready that you should integrate my survival traits, which block me from accepting your divine love. Grant me wholeness

I am going my spiritual journey healer on Monday. I will taking my own little laundry list and asking her to assist me journey through them.

My need to control everything, my codependency, my resentments, my terrible fear of abandonment that triggers all fo the defects.

It will be ok, I will be ok. It IS ok.

I find I am falling into the trap of 'watercooler' gossip at work. I would like to cease that but I keep getting pulled right back in to the drama.

I am in such a quandry. I need a sponsor and help to find the answers about what my best is to do regarding a matter very personal to me.

I dont know how to reach anyone and the people I meet in programs are not so interested in helping me. they are not interested or not able to sponsor.

I dont have a good sense of what is best for me and having lived as the typical child having reached time in their lives to move out into the world unprepared for what life is out there and how to make the needed steps and like to be a successful member without ending up like me, 71 years old in love with someone who is almost three decades younger than me and I have moved into a place of being treated like a "mate" rather than a person in a relationship of intimacy.

I am not sure if the whole matter is both of us are adult children and are feeding off of this with each other. I am subjected to rejection when I reach for romance or reminiscing and am then ignored or avoided and if I try to talk about this I am called a silly billy, his way of trying me to be less insecure. I become offensive. to him and to me. I get angry and want to break up and then I suffer because I am not wanting to break up. Hmmm I am feeling as though I am wanting to let go and let God. No anger or resentment but simply stepping aside and letting things unfold and the answers will come.

I just been released from the Hospital and am coming out of an extrapolation of c.o.p.d. I am not yet o2 dependent but as typical of this terminal disease it is a matter of time.

I am feeling a lot of loneliness and sense selfishness in me and and the man I deeply have cared for over two years now. I believe he gives me the "chase" that is attractive and he is not ever willing to give me the "control" I have discovered I seek in my relationships and that keeps him more attractive, and me more beaten down because of hurting myself because I send a song like Bridge over Troubled Water, or Annie's Song.

In August I stopped writing to him and he kind of floundered around until I gave in and picked up again. More and more each week I am subjected to the caring go away kind of treatment. Going away is a good thing but it doesnt help me. I repeat the same things and push myself down in the dredges of that messy black pit I stay in until it rejects me and I lose myself again in a relationship I long for and lose to my own needs being unfulfilled or met. My "sacrificing" my good feelings for me to have someone I find strong and begin to trust but I dont have complete trust in him.

this is so confusing. So hurtful. Yet I am trying to come to grips with the relationship's inability to be to me what I hope is the answer I am seeking as a journey to the time that my c.o.p. d. extrapolation is the last one.

I will be appreciative of any input. My age is such that I am not offended by much from people who are sincere. I hope not only I can learn but this share can maybe help others with their solutions to similar circumstances at a younger time in their lives.

Karen