Stepwork

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Step 10 - Adult Children of Alcoholics
Post Info TOPIC: Step 10 - Adult Children of Alcoholics
JamesCT


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Step 10 - Adult Children of Alcoholics
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10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

This step alters your day to day existence.  This step is a direct commitment to change.  You will now do something that you did not previously you.  You will live with self-reflection and humility.  Basically, it's a commitment to work through the steps on both new issues and old from this point forward.

Because of the way my FOO operated, it was easier and safer to run and hide than admit you did something wrong.  Everything was such a big damned deal.  And elements of society teach the same thing.  The lead character of NCIS likes to say that apologizing is a sign of weakness, for example.  But it's also a sign of honoring another person, and now I choose to honor someone else.



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ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope) for ACoA may be shared at http://acoa.activeboard.com .
DavidG


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This is the place I want to be... steps 10 11 and twelve... like any regular individual on the planet.

I am learning fast now that the goal is not to be perfect and reside exclusively on ah, Step 12.

 

I like to dig and delve. The reason why I am here today is because I wanted to improve myself.

In fact I was in a space where I HAD to , rather than just needed to.

 

I picked up Bill's phrase "half measures availed us nothing". I thought that had a ring to it. But beside that I have to have some 'time out', even from recovery.

Adn I do have to have some regular routine time in between.

Thanks be to step 10.

 

-D.



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Participation is the key to harmony.
flopadopilus


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I love this step, I can humbly see myself as human and accept my faults in stride. I am a work in progress and when I hurt someone by doing or saying something I am not proud of I can and do ask for forgiveness when I am ready. It feels so freeing and I love the changes in my attitudes since finding Al-anon and working the steps. I accept and love myself like never before and am feeling stable within knowing I have faced all my dark nooks and crannies and came out victoriously. I am a good person and continue to get healthier a day at a time!

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me! And thanks JamesCT for your service on the step board!

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FLOP,

"Recovery isn't winning, it's not playing" and "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real

INSANITY = doing the same thing over nad over again and expecting different results.
KarenKB


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Hello...

I believe I have been away from here because of the matter that surfaced and I either reacted or made worse, but the final was my daughter cutting me out of her life totally. My son already had. I am exercising my Let go and Let God, and detachment with love, and acceptance. I also am working this step. I began to see that I was doing more harm than good and stepped out of the path of abuse target. I was curt and snapping to hurt and I know that now. I reacted bad but not a rage or slice and dice cruel, just more tit for tat.

I am admitting I was wrong here. My amends are "God bless my son and daughter change me". I use this mantra and find it so beneficial. I got it from an AA member three years ago and it has helped me countless times and I pass it on as Bill W taught when I first became a 12 stepper, almost 44 years ago.

I use this step everyday actually. I do other steps too but this one is a daily occurrence in my life, as I can remember, for the past 38 years.

thank all of you for sharing......

hugs!!!



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Karen Kohr Blinn
bmare38


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Hi, Barbara D. here. My husband came home from the hospital yesterday. Has lung cancer and was in for MRSA pneumonia from undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. Lots of feelings and I need to get to a FTF. I just checked on him and he is feverish again but yelled, "I'm not going to any damned hospital".  No control and don't even know what is my part. He is my ex husband whom I have been supporting since 1988 when he was laid off and never worked again. He is 77 and I am 73, 74 on the 21st. I get so into self pity, I can't stand myself but am crying all the time. I am a clinical social worker/ counselor and should know what to do but don't. I started a new job this week but don't think I can keep it up and am scared, almost paralyzed with fear. I am in Debtor's Anonymous as well and am working the 12 steps again with a group by phone once a week and am hanging on for dear life. My finances are a mess. Our middle son who just retired from military is staying with us and is helping but part of me doesn't like that because he is controlling at times. Just needed to share and get this stuff out.  Thanks for your service, Barbara



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Barbara DeSpain
bmare38


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PS: I probably need to call my employer and let them know what is going on. I wasn't going to tell them about his illness for fear they wouldn't hire me and I need the work. I drive 35 miles one way to a nursing home to see 5 residents. It took me all day Wednesday to complete paper work on just 2 people because the files are horrendous and most of the people I am seeing have dementia and are either unwilling or unable to communicate. One is actively dying. Thanks, Barbara

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Barbara DeSpain
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