STEP 11 ALANON

hotrod · Guru

STEP 11 ALANON

hotrod · Guru

11Step Eleven

Sought through Prayers and Mediation to Improve our Conscious Contact with God, As We UNDERSTOOD HIM, Praying Only for the Knowledge of His Will for Us and the Power to Carry That Out

One Day at a Time in Alanon Page 177

It is in Step 11 That I find the actively spiritual prescription for the practice of the alanon program.

Sought through Prayers and Mediation to improve our Conscious Contact with God, as we UNDERSTOOD HIM, Praying only for the Knowledge of His Will for us and the Power to carry that out

If we are living the alanon counsel of First Things First prayer and meditations must come before all else, since it is this way we receive guidance for our decisions.

Todays Reminder

Am I too busy to pray? Have I no time for mediation? Then let me ask myself if I have been able to solve my problems without help. As I face them day by day, I want to acknowledge my need for His guidance. I will not let this day pass- nor any day from now on without making myself consciously aware of God

It is God who girth me with strength and maketh my way perfect

Psalms

My Share

Again with this Step, I worked it out of order. After I had reconciled with the God of my understanding in Step 2, I reviewed all the other Steps and thought it an impossible task for me. I knew that these Steps held the key to living my life differently and I was determined to continue on this journey. I decided that in order to get the courage to move forward I needed to jump the Steps so that I could obtain the clarity and courage to do the work of Steps 4 thru 9

Reading the Steps was very easy--- Acting on them and using them in my life very very hard.

I looked thru each Step and Slogan and found I could do Step 11 with ease The reason for that is in Step 11, I not only pray for the knowledge for HPs will for me but I also ask for and receive the Power to carry it out!!! What a gift!! What a promise!!! HP is not going to ask anything of me that He does not provide the courage, wisdom and strength for me to succeed.

I started small. Each morning I asked HP to show me His will today and give me the power to go forth. Then I said the serenity prayer and started my day.

Any time during the day that I felt angry, resentful, sad, I would repeat the serenity prayer and trust HP to guide my actions and words. At the end of the day my sponsor and I would review the day as in a 10^th Step and would see clearly how HP had guided my actions and what courage I had been given. I handled/ handle situations that use to confuse me and make me want to run. I spoke my truth with courtesy and kindness all this was new for me. I usually tried to manipulate situations so I would obtain my will. Here I was trusting HP, being Honest, Open and Willing and my days were falling into place like never before.

I work this Step each and every day . I ask HP for the courage, wisdom and serenity to live through this day only and trust that I will be lead.

Just a note, my MY HP did not promise a Rose Garden. I have had many a heart break on this Spiritual Journey. Some that sent me into a tail spin. The loss of my precious son to this disease was major. I felt the sadness; the anger, the grief the huge loss and I also felt deep down a peace that surpasses understanding. I did receive the power to face this very difficult loss with HPs help I will always miss and love my child and have a deep sadness at his loss however I also am oh so grateful that this beautiful gift from HP, was in my life for over 40 years and I can recall the many joys and love we shared.

I love this Step

Thanks for letting me share.

Activities

1. Have you begun the discipline of prayer in your life? What does that consist of? What are your feelings and fears about praying, about talking to God? What time of day works best for prayer? Do you have a favorite place?

2. How do you meditate? Do you like meditation books? Which are your favorites? When is you best time for reading a meditation? Do you like tapes? Have you experimented with any other forms of meditation?

3. What other activities help you relax and get in touch with yourself?

4. The next time you get stressed, instead of pushing harder, you might want to walk away from what you are doing and find a way to get quiet and centered. If you are at work, you may want to retreat into a private area-your office, if you have one, or even a bathroom will do. Breathe deeply, then let go of your thoughts, worries, and chaos. Allow peace and healing to enter your body. Stay with it as long as you can or as long as you need to.

Wolfie55 · Member

Thanks Betty. A beautiful share as always.

I always thought that in order to do this step properly I needed to wear an orange bathrobe and start eating walnuts, but my sponsor told me that although I might look good in orange, that it wasn't necessary for me to do seven years in Tibet to practice meditation. As has already been said, prayer and meditation can be done just about anywhere, in the car, in my office, in the bathroom, waiting for a traffic light. Naturally we might want to go all out and attend a retreat, but for me the bathroom works just fine.

The prayer and meditation referred to here is actually based on the Oxford Group concept of two-way prayer. For those who don't know, the Oxford Group was a spiritual organization which the early members of AA and Alanon attended in the late 1930s and early 1940s, before my time for sure. But their concept of two-way prayer was adopted by us and in still as effective today as it was then. So thats your history lesson for today.

Step Eleven teaches us how to pray. I don't know about you but I always confused God with Santa Claus. Give me this, a better job would be nice, can you please cure Aunt Mabel, can you get rid of that guy, etc etc etc. But its not about that. Its about praying for knowledge of God's will for us is in a given situation. because I don't often know what it is that I need, I only really know what it is that I want, and although I sometimes make the mistake of thinking I know what's best for you, well I don't know that either.

And I also pray the power to carry out whatever god's will is. That can be a tough one, especially when gods will doesn't coincide with Bernie's will. I guess I'll just stop there.

Thanks for having this study of the steps. And thanks for inviting me Betty. I like it.

DavidG · Senior Member

Thanks Betty-

and hello Bernie :>)

I am reading this over breakfast, preparing for a day's work out there...

I too love steps 2 and 11. Because God loves me. This is a Sunday but we are harvesting and nature does not wait for man's laws. But it is also a great time to witness to the love of God amongst people of many nations- and to gather from them their own insights- their own hopes and joys...

may write some more when I have time for more reflection...

evileye David.

hotrod · Guru

Thanks David I do agree any time I can testify to my God's love is a good time to do so. Hope your day is filled with knowledge of your Higher Power's love. Thanks for sharing

flopadopilus · Veteran Member

I like to spend time with God/pray in the morning before my toddler wakes up. I read my 3 daily readers and spend time reflecting on them and ask God what His will is for me this day. I don't always get to do it early everyday, but I always try to do it even at the end of the day. With 2 kids and a few part time jobs, finding me time is hard, but I have learned to make this a priority. I loved the April 15th reading in Hope for Today on this Step, I am choosing to dettach from my troubles and attach to God and find serenity!

I am being led in a different direction and I am excited about it, but sometimes fearful and I continually hand over my worries about my move/job/housing/school to God knowing it will all fall into place for me. I am doing what I can to ready myself and set things up ahead of time and what I can't control I hand over and trust that He will continue to see over my kids and I.

When something gives me a red flag I find a minute to step back and chat with God, before I react and find I am handling things so much better than before. Sometimes I give myself red flags and I have to stop and find out why I am feeling easily frustrated or angry, so I can move through it rather than stay stuck in that feeling. The serenity prayer is very helpful and so is my sponsir who is, but a phone call away if I can't work through something on my own.

hotrod · Guru

Thank you Flopadopilus

Your share truly insipired me . Your trust and faith in your HP and as a result in your choices and decisions is a wonderful gift to share.

Desirae · Veteran Member

I am still working through the steps, this time in order, but one of the things that helped me so much on step 2 and I am sure will continue to help is a God Box:

I was suggest by a fellow Al-anon member to create a "God Box". A box that I can use to physically write down what I am turning over to my Higher Power on a slip of paper and put it in the box.

Then it was suggested that I personalize my "God Box"... so I did.

My "God Box" has now been transformed into a "Prayer Tree". In traditions that I had been brought up in, it is custom to give an offering to the earth when asking for something in return. So when I hand things over with an offering (I use tobacco, which is common in almost every Native American culture), I also write down what I am handing over on a ribbon, and tie it onto my tree. I also bring my tree gifts of gratitude for the God of my understanding, whom which I choose to refer to as my Great Spirit or Gitchimanidoo. I bring small dream catchers, gifts of sage, feathers, etc... to my tree when I give prayers of gratitude.

I loved the idea. It helped me to start turning things over and not ripping the situation out of my HP's hands when I did not like the way things were turning out.

hotrod · Guru

Desirae

Thank you so much for sharing your God Box and Prayer Tree.

I too have a GOd Box into which I out all I turn over to my HP. I utter words of gratitude but have never thought of giving actual symbolic offerings of thanks as well as the words.

That action feels very powerful and I will begin to do so

By sharing experinces I grow Thanks again

Jackie11 · Newbie

This step is something that for me I think I have to look at a little differently. I grew up in private Christian school and church. I've always had a relationship on some level with my HP.

The statement "As We UNDERSTOOD HIM, Praying Only for the Knowledge of His Will for Us and the Power to Carry That Out"

I know how much Al-Anon has given me. I know that I have my own views and beliefs, and they are important to me. Something I try to be very cognizant of is that many who come to the board and come to the F2F meeting do not need me beating them over the head with what I believe. Instead they have to have their own understanding of their HP.

I don't want to scare someone else away from the wonderful benefits of discovering their own path of recovery because I am unwilling to allow them to find HP as they understand him.

hotrod · Guru

Thanks Jackie

The absolute beauty of the alanon program stands out in each Step This one is no exception. We are each asked to choose our own Understanding of the God and to use the alanon tools to connect with that Higher Power.

It is applicable to every belief system and shows not preferences

Thanks for sharing.

Wolfie55 · Member

I like all the talk about a god box. i have used one for over 15 years. I use it in the way already discussed. I also put words in the box, like honesty or anger or fear or a slogan and each day I pick a word and that's what god wants me to work on that day. at the end of the day I put the word back in in case god decides to give me the same word tomorrow. I find it helpful. My word today is the same word I had yesterday - gratitude. So thanks desirae for mentioning that.

hotrod · Guru

BERNIE

I TOO LOVE THIS STEP WORK BOARD

SHARING OUR IDEAS ON THE STEPS ENRICHES US ALL .

THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION ABOUT PLACING SOME SOME CHARACTER TRAITS IN THE GOD BOX AND THEN CONCENTRATING ON THAT TRAIT DURING THE DAY.

GREATI DEA

THANKS

LindaO · Veteran Member

I do not have a traditional view of God.
I used to be very involved in organised religion as a teenager, now I have made my own little belief system taking bits from a few areas.

My Higher Power is exactly that... my understanding of what I believe is the truth out there... for me.. at this point in time.

I believe the labels are just culturally contextual words that we as humans have to put on an energy that we are not able to conceptualise.. pure love is not in our ability as a human.. that is why we are still human.

Anyway.. enough of that....

This step is a great one. When I have handed things over (let go and let HP) my life has become so much.. 'more'..

I meditate by looking at the things around me. Being in the moment and really looking and hearing and listening and tasting and smelling where I am. Allowing the 'now' to be 'all'.

Love and light to you all

hotrod · Guru

Hi Linda

Thanks for your thoughts and insights. Love the expression of :

"allowing the now to be all". That sums it up perfectly.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.