Step 11 - Adult Children of Alcoholics

JamesCT · Senior Member

Step 11 - Adult Children of Alcoholics

DavidG · Senior Member

It feels like a golden sand box here in this forum. When i turned 13 the kids from well-off families went away to boarding school. I know some of the other kids. But it was a completely different ball game.

I am doing three sets of steps at the moment, and loving it. At the age of 61 I am still a dumb old field worker. But in recent years i hosted a couple of Israeli poets. Through this I got a long poem published in the International Journal of Spiritual Councellors.

I ask myself - whoa! what am I doing here... why do people like this accept my work... ...part of my thinking equipment is still green and fairly untried. I am writing a history paper and presenting it to a conference this year. I have the 'dog-spot' at 2 pm on the second day.

But I am proud of my work... my research is blessed with years of life out in the hard real world.

I put my brain to work on the Hp stuff... ...I ended up with the paralysis of analysis, also known as sophistry.

I love God because I know God loves me. I love others and their lives because I know God loves them all as well. And God loves everything.

Like you James I sometimes say something like this: your way not mine, so saith The Lord.

its a good friendship, a good relationship... when I remember to listen.

flopadopilus · Veteran Member

I posted this in Al-anon step 11, but relate to the ACOA board as well. I have struggled since my divorce and the life I tried to force for a very long time. I am now at a point where I want to submit to God and do His will and find that by doing so things keep getting better and more serene as I flow through my journey!

I like to spend time with God/pray in the morning before my toddler wakes up. I read my 3 daily readers and spend time reflecting on them and ask God what His will is for me this day. I don't always get to do it early everyday, but I always try to do it even at the end of the day. With 2 kids and a few part time jobs, finding me time is hard, but I have learned to make this a priority. I loved the April 15th reading in Hope for Today on this Step, I am choosing to dettach from my troubles and attach to God and find serenity!

I am being led in a different direction and I am excited about it, but sometimes fearful and I continually hand over my worries about my move/job/housing/school to God knowing it will all fall into place for me. I am doing what I can to ready myself and set things up ahead of time and what I can't control I hand over and trust that He will continue to see over my kids and I.

When something gives me a red flag I find a minute to step back and chat with God, before I react and find I am handling things so much better than before. Sometimes I give myself red flags and I have to stop and find out why I am feeling easily frustrated or angry, so I can move through it rather than stay stuck in that feeling. The serenity prayer is very helpful and so is my sponsir who is, but a phone call away if I can't work through something on my own.

KarenKB · Member

I am so very lonely. I am not sure of what to do. I find it difficult to find this site, my browser seems to drop it from my favorites or something like that. I am in a relationship that is the reason I came here so I could finally get to the bottom of why i am like I am. I am losing the ability to feel about others as I once did. I am a very lonely person I think. My mother told my ex husband over 30 years ago "Karen is going to end up a lonely old woman". He told me knowing it would cause me much pain. It has recently because what she said is now. My two children have disowned me and I have let go and let God even tho the pain is still within.

I have no spark, no interest, no joy.

Maybe this will help, sharing this. I know I cant remember how to find the white board and to navigate well enough to be more in contact with others. I dont do the chat room so well here also. I tried it years ago and was not so comfortable. Maybe I am just too picky.

thanx for listening.

JamesCT · Senior Member

Karen, there is always time to rebuild and start again. The ACoA board for sharing is in my signature below this text, but I will type it here too:

http://acoa.activeboard.com

You can have loving people in your life again. Come talk with us.

LindaO · Veteran Member

I don't use the word God.
For me, that conjures up too many thoughts of organised religion and concentrates on only the one cultural concept of religion.

I will use HP for me, Higher Power. God in the traditional sense is one of those HP's. There are many others. I also say my HP is a she.. because she is MY higher power and I am a she also if you get my drift.

I believe in my spirits that walk with me. I often hand things over to a good friend of mine who died at his own hand. I know he is with me and he has made himself known on many occassions. I allow him to handle all the drug problems with my husband.

My Granddad is with me, I never met him in life, he is my support and strength when I need to be pushed.

I do communicate with my HP and my spirits. I am not sure there is only one divine path for me that is preordaned, but I do know that the universe will send me messages to keep me on the path that is for my benefit. I am becoming wise enough to hear and see those messages.

What I get most from my HP, and what I want to give back.... is 'calmness'. Just be calm. That is what HP is all about for me. I wonder what my next life will be and if I have been through this all before in past lives. I think I have. This doesn't feel new. I have lessons to learn and my HP and the universe are teaching me those lessons.

So for me, this step is the same but just worded differently to fit in with "God as I understand him"

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.