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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> TRADITION 3 ALANON
Post Info TOPIC: TRADITION 3 ALANON
hotrod


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TRADITION 3 ALANON
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TRADITION THREE  (3)

 

The Relatives of Alcoholics When Gathered Together, for Mutual Aid, May Call Themselves an Alan on Family Group Provided that as a Group They Have no Other Affiliations.  The Only Requirement for membership is that there is a Problem of Alcoholism in a Relative or Friend

Courage to Change Page   186

 

Today Reminder

Al Anon has come to my support undiluted and no strings attached when I have needed it.  I hope to pass it on in the same spirit.

Tradition three explains two ways in which my AlAnon friends and I can keep it simple.  One is to avoid being diverted from out program by others and two to welcome into al anon anyone who is suffering from the effects of anothers alcoholism

My Share

This Tradition sums up the primary purpose of AlAnon  Mutual Aid!!! 

 THERE ARE NO EXPERTS OR TEACHERS OF THIS PROGRAM . 

AS we experience  recovery from the effects of living with alcoholism, WE ARE ABLE TO SHARE OUR EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE WITH EACH OTHER AND THAT IS ALL WE NEED TO RECOVER FROM LIVING WITH THIS DREADFUL DISEASE.

 Each Tradition re- affirms our goals and how we can achieve this task.  The mutual aid spoken  of in this tradition is achieved by having no outside affiliations.  I too must agree to accomplish this mutual aid by attending meetings and leaving all my titles, my jobs, affilations outside the rooms and attempt slowly to discover who I am behind the masks that I have installed.   The rest of the tradition speaks to the sole requirement for  membership .  It does not matter if the person claims to be an alcoholic or claims they have a problem.  The requirement is simple: I find  A problem of alcohol in a relative or friend.  We need recovery because we have been affected by the alcoholism of another. Everyone, no doubt has a relative or friend who has a problem with alcohol-- so that  everyone can quality for membership. 

 My family does not think that any of them are alcoholic noeven if the Dr has diagnosed alcoholism.

 It  does not matter the definition   What matters is how I have been affected.

This is a powerful Tradition

 

Questions Tradition Three:

1.  Do I set myself up as a judge of whether a newcomer is sincere or phony?

2.  Do I let language, religion (or lack of it), race, education, age, or other such things interfere with my carrying the message?

3.  Am I over impressed by a celebrity? By a doctor, a clergyman, an ex-convict? Or can I just treat this new member simply and naturally as one more sick human, like the rest of us?

 

 



-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 3rd of June 2012 09:55:28 PM

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Betty
hotrod


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Dear David

Thank you for your honest share.   i too did not belong anywhere before I found the rooms of alanon.  I felt like an outsider and isolated.  These traditions truly reach out and embrace us because they understand as few others can just how lost and unassured we are.

Glad your meeting is shaping up.  I just returned fro a Monday Step Meeting I started over 20 years ago.   For over a year we had only 2 - 5 attendees  Tonight we had 35.  Keep on keeping on  ODATsmile



-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 5th of June 2012 01:11:02 AM

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Betty
DavidG


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 Hi Betty, and other posters....

we had our meeting last night here in town.

its a tiny meeting but the groups set some

priorities- and it has worked out.

 

We delayed our outreach because the group

needed time to deal with business in hand.

And now we are ready to move ahead.

 

I read your checklist Betty. We ask newcomers

to attend at least six meetings. Then, at the

same time we should give them 6 or 8 meetings

to work out if they qualify. When I first joined

I was confused angry sore... and over time I

wrestled with the thought that i did not belong.

 

Well i did not belong anywhere! And I needed Alanon

to figure that out. That was a starting point.aww

 

I am gratefull for the love and trust I was shown.

It showed me that life was possible!

 

Thanks Betty, and also >you< for reading this.

 

:>)

David.



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DavidG


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                   yes, Betty, thanks a lot...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Betty))))))))))))))))))))))

 

we have bin inside the rooms of Alanon somewhere in the world...

and we do know, as perhaps few others can... we do...aww



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Desirae


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Questions Tradition Three:

1. Do I set myself up as a judge of whether a newcomer is sincere or phony?

I feel as if I can honestly answer no to this question today, however, when I was a newcomer myself in July of 2010, I will admit that I did not trust other newcomers, or any other members for that fact. This was mainly because I did not know anyone who had ever been a phony in my life at the time. I had to learn to trust people again, and unfortunately because I had had horrible experiences trying to find a face to face meeting in my small town that proved to be sincerely anonymous. I have forgiven those who have who (in a loving way) spoke of me outside of the face to face groups, and ended my anonymity. Now--- while in meetings & speaking to members outside meetings, I have found an "Al-a-family" who can feel comfortable talking about what they learned from other members while keeping that anonymity. When a newcomer comes into the room, I am immediately reminded of how i felt pre-alanon, how much I have learned from others, the times people have thanked me for reminders, and every time... EVERY TIME (lol) I hear a newcomer share I learn something new... for me that ends up being something I missed (so to speak) along the way. It gives me the awesome opportunity to go back and re-work that particular aspect of life.

2. Do I let language, religion (or lack of it), race, education, age, or other such things interfere with my carrying the message?
No... why? I have learned not to do this by watching my young (9 yr. old on Aug. 13) daughter grow into the compassionate little girl I have today. There is a song that makes me cry every time (I know... I am a sap... lol), and these words speak to my heart:

"In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal. Darkness turns to light, and the world is at peace. But the truth is plane to see, she was sent to rescue me, I see who I want to be, in my daughter's eyes."

I look at the word "rescue" as she teaches me things that I once looked at innocently... from the perspective of a child...

3. Am I over impressed by a celebrity? By a doctor, a clergyman, an ex-convict? Or can I just treat this new member simply and naturally as one more sick human, like the rest of us?

No... Impressed does not seem to be the right word here for me... but I do find myself inspired and grateful when someone of great stature outside the group, speaks out to more of us that are hurting and afraid to heal. This is one of the things that brought me to program. My late Aunt talked me into going to her Al-anon meeting. It was the firs one I had ever attended. Surprising to us, it was a 10 year celebration of their group and it was a huge open meeting with a Blue Grass Gospel band on stage at the church, followed by a speaker meeting. One of the speakers happen to be a light weight Golden Gloves boxing Champion! I knew him. I grew up boxing at the same gym! I had actually grown up sparing with him (he being the only one willing to spar me in the ring at the time because I was the first female boxer in Duluth, MN). Seeing him again, and what he had accomplished in his recovery both personally and professionally was what inspired me to even start the program. I was an equal with him, he was an equal with me, it was the gratefulness of seeing where his program brought him, and how much he had put into his recovery & giving back that put me in the "I want what he has." mindset. I knew him when were of an equal social stature and was amazed that he "got out" of what he was going through, that he was able to break away from his family for the sake of his own serenity. I knew his situation as a child and when I saw how far he had come, all I could think was "Holy crap! If he can get out of the gutter he was in growing up in then I can too." I asked him for his autograph of course (as a boxing memorabilia collector), but every time I look at that autograph I am inspired to work more honestly & wholeheartedly in my own recovery. I am able to accept him as an equal, and that means a lot mere to me than "knowing a celebrity". So to sum up this question I would simply replace the word "impressed" with the words "inspired & grateful".

Thank you for these questions :) Ya really got me inspired again.
Desirae

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