Control over alcohol, and also control over people, places and things. Addictions to people, places and things. Healthy dependencies - no man is an island after all,,  we do need each other and we need to balance in a give and take to help each other,, withour getting into codependencies in which we lose our selves and the kind of love that frees. All things I think about in this Step. My drinking tends to happen because - 1. alcoholism is in my family, 2. it has been a crutch for me, 3. it has been a pain killer for me. The first thing I want to do when I  start to 'feel' (and I'll get into why I don't want to 'feel' on the ACA share) is to push the feelings back down with alcohol. Sometimes that backfires on me though, and I get maudlin instead of levelled. Instead of putting a lid on it a pandora's box is opened.

well, so, once I can avoid the drink,,,  and the 'feelings' come up,,,  wow,,, then I really have to work the Steps, get into real recovery to deal with them and what triggered them! I find I cannot do Step 1 without Step 2,,,    I can't keep them separated because Step 1 is just tooooo scary without Step 2 being right there.

amanda