from 'The 12 Steps for Adult Children"

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God."

"Imagine the insanity of trying to perform surgery on ourselves. At the first hint of pain from the scalpel, we would stop. Healing would never happen. It is just as insane to think that we can manage our own recovery. We must put our lives into the hands of our Higher Power, who knows the extent of our disease. Our Higher Power alone knows what is needed for healing and has our best interest at heart.

"In Step 3 we decide to turn the scalpel over to God as we understand God...

"We prepare for Step 3 by thoroughly doing Steps 1 and 2. If we are not convinced thaqt we are powerless and that our lives are unmanageable, we are not ready for Step 3. This Step will be difficult if we have not come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity and is able to care for us. .. We prepare by allowing God to plant seeds of faith in our hearts. When those things are in place, Step 3 comes easily...

"Step 3 is the central theme of all the Steps... The commitment to Step 3 must be repeated more than once, as we are just beginning to turn things over to our Higher Power. Repeated working of the first three Steps helps to build a solid foundation for working the total program...

"Many of us come to this program with strong negative perceptions about the world in which we live. Those perceptions may be based on hurtful childhood experiences, misguided academic training, or simply the accumulated lessons of our lives. We may have perceived God to be unloving and judgmental. If we experienced violence as children, we may find it hard to trust. Whatever the source, our recovery is hindered if our beliefs make it difficult to let go of our fear and surrender our lives to God. In Step 3 , we decide to take a leap of faith and put our lives in his hands...

"... Our lives may have many relationships that are ruined by our behavior. Rather than being discouraged by these discoveries, we can use them to prompt our surrender to a power greater than ourselves...

"As we begin to allow God's will to act in our lives, our self-destructive tendencies become fewer and much less distracting. Often, the confusion and grief we cause ourselves and others prevent us from successfully working and practicing the Steps. Making the decision to begin this journey is an act of great importance and should not be made in a time of emotional upheaval.  The key elements in Step 3 are making the decision with a clear and rational mind, being committed to that decision, and, finally, trusting the outcome to our Higher Power...

"As we surrender our lives and stop carrying the burdens of our past, we will begin to feel better about ourselves. The more we learn to trust in our Higher Power, the more we will trust ourselves and others... As we free ourselves from self-will, we in turn free ourselves from much of our negative behaviors, and we are able to deal more effectively with the daily routine of our lives. Our impatience and irritability disappear as we come to know our Higher Power's love and yearn to share it with others. Our lives include peace and serenity, and we becomre the persons we were meant to be...

"In Step 3 we acknowledge our need for guidance, and make the decision to surrender our lives to God's care...

"Many of us begin the Step 3 process by turning over certain parts of our lives. We are willing to surrender the most difficult problems when we see they are making our lives unmanageable. We cling to other areas of our lives because we think we can manage them or because we think they are necessary for our survival. We eventually realize that we cannot barter with God. We must be prepared to surrender our entire will and every part of our lives to his care if we want to recover. When we are truly able to accept this fact, our journey to wholeness has begun...

"Step 3 may make us feel we are losing our identity. We may think we are going to lose everything. Not knowing what is going to happen is frightening. Most of us have tried desperately to control our environment. Many of these behavior traits were developed during childhood and came about as a direct result of the circumstances in which we were raised. Deep within us may be a fearful childhood memory, and a trembling child anxious about someone's anger, criticism, threats, or violence. As children, we tried to fix or take care of the people arund us so they would not abandon us, leaving us with only broken promises and shattered dreams...

"The conditions in which we were raised often kept us from ever trusting God. Our prayers may have been unanswered, and we could not imagine how a loving God could be so cruel to us.  Step 3 is an opportunity to start over. As we work the Steps, we will get in touch with memories of childhood hurts. We will also begin to experience our Higher Power's healing love, and repair the damage that has been done...

"Learning to trust in a Higher Power and accept support will enhance the quality of our lives. We will no longer feel the need to carry our burdens by ourselves. Much of the pain of our past is a result of feeling totally alone. Our need to control people and events kept us isolated, but as we trust and surrender, we will begin to relate better with others. With God's presence, our sense of self-esteem will improve, and we will begin to recognize that we are worthwhile human beings.  Our capacity to receive and give love will increase, and we will come to place grewat value on fellowship, and sharing...

" The Twelve Steps is a spiritual program - a tool for healing. Step 3 is an opportunity to let a power greater than ourselves take charge of our lives. This liberates us from the pressure of feeling responsible for everything and everyone, or expecting someone else to take responsibility for us. As we surrender to our Higher Power, we develop a feeling of peace and serenity in our lives...

"It is not important to understand how our Higher Power works in order to 'let go'. We need only to believe in the process. 

"When we experience meaningful results in working Step 3, a change comes over us. We are calmer and feel that a weight has been lifted from our shoulders. It can happen suddenly or gradually, as we consciously accept the guidance resulting from our partnership with a Higher Power...  We all have 'slips'. However, as we work the Steps daily, we become more willing and able to turn our lives over consistently...

"There is a paradox in the way this program works. The less we try to manage our own lives, the more effective we become. When we give up managing our own lives and trust in our Higher Power's plan for us, we find we are calmer and more accepting of things around us. ...

"Most of us start this journey in an effort to stop repeating painful cycles of ineffective  behavior. We are usually in search of answers to complex questions of life. Some of us may have experimented with lifestyles and beliefs that appeared to offer solutions... "