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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Step 7 Alanon
Post Info TOPIC: Step 7 Alanon
hotrod


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Step 7 Alanon
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Step 7 HUMBLY ASKED HIM TO REMOVE OUR SHORTCOMINGS

C2C PAGE 31

I want to be ready for my shortcoming s to be removed, I will do what I can to prepare. I will develop a non judgmental awareness of myself, accept what I discover and be fully ready to change.  I lack the power to heal myself   Only my Higher Power can do this.

My Share

I did not think this step would be difficult  it talks easy but walks hard  Humbly and ask: are small words but required a great deal of work on my part.

Surrendering my power and stop trying to change myself was what I had to do in order to become  humble .   It did not come easy.   I worked and banged my head against a wall and tried to fix myself and then I becameHumble .   I cannot, he  can, I think I will let him, finally  made sense.  Ask was another difficult task.   I never knew how to ask for Help.   I would manipulate for it, pretend I did not need it.   to go out and simply ask Hp to help me  Was hard.   I guess this step is letting go of my EGO and letting Hp in .  EGO Edging God out is  so true.

 

 In Step 6 I did become entirely ready to have HP remove my many shortcomings.  I saw how much pain my anger, resentment, self pity and fear caused ME.  I also saw how judging others , gossiping and blaming everyone kept me isolated and angry all the time.  I slowly developed new coping tools so that I was acting in a positive fashion and not reacting with my old defective tools.  I wanted these defensive tools lifted and  I Humbly asked my HP, each morning to remove them.  One day I awoke and the pain of the anger and resentments were gone never to return  Thank you HP.

I am now doing another round of the steps and am again peeling the onion a bit deeper and am at the place were I have to again trust that HP will free me from my new defects.  The ones that are troubling me now is the  that of being always right, entitled to be sad (my son died after all), entitled to be mean and on and on.  I am again asking HP to help  I cannot change me  I can pick up my wonderful alanon tools and go forth and know HP will remove them in His time

I am so grateful for this program 

On to Step 8 making that list of all that I have harmed. I intend to place myself on the top of the list and make direct amends to myself for all the negative things I have told myself for so many years.

 

 

 

Step 7 QUESTIONS

 

If in doubt about what character defects to work on now, ask God to show you clearly what issues in your life would be improved if you would work the Sixth and Seventh Steps on them.

What are your fears about becoming changed? Write about them. Or talk about them with another person.

 

17. What negative behaviors or traits are lessening or have been removed?

18. What slogan could remind me to find a substitute for a negative behavior I wish to release?

19. Am I able to see challenges as opportunities to practice new character traits?

20. Am I able to laugh fondly at my mistakes and not be devastated when I am not perfect? Can I love and celebrate these humanenesss while working for balance?

21. As I turn my defects over to God, are new shortcomings coming to light? If so, can I continue to ask God for help?

22. As I work Step Seven, do I see a change in my relationship with my Higher Power?

 



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Betty
Tasha


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It's been said many times around me lately - whack a mole. One thing goes down, another pops up. They all seem to stem from the same lack of acceptance for what is - and faith in HP that he/she/it has me/us where/as we're needed. It is so tempting Betty, to think that I SHOULD be able to feel sorry for myself because I WAS damaged by my fathers alcoholism and my mothers codependency. That the man who blew his head off and left me to find the decapitated body gave me enough good reason and excuse for any of the isms that whirled about my life afterward. I was affected! Doesn't facing it mean revisiting it over and over and over so as to get pity and love from people until I'm better?

Finally through working the steps up to this, I was able to see that I was still responsible for MY part. I was still responsible for every action I took after. I could feel it and grieve it only AFTER I allowed myself to begin to treat me better by letting self devastating behaviors go. And that went a lot deeper than the obvious ones of trying to control my surroundings or use things that distracted me from me. That meant countless attempts at pity weren't doing me any good, in fact they were doing me harm. I was making a bad choice in going down those morbid avenues any time I needed a pick me up. I needed to take care of me as my HP wanted me to. That meant the pity had to be chucked. If I needed something, or an emotion arose, I could ask HP to guide me toward healthier behaviors - I could ask for a quiet hug, or let someone know how much they mean to me and feel a connection without going down the pity avenue... while also bringing in new hope and happiness with relationships in my life.

A needed to ask a HP to remove my shortcomings so I could begin to treat me better - and as a result - affect others better.

The other shortcoming I currently wrestle with is anger toward someone who harmed my daughter. When my mind wants to go down the avenue of hate - I ask HP humbly to remove my defect of character, and replace it with love. Not for the perpetrator, but for myself so I can love my daughter through this, and remain a guiding force toward love, health and happiness whenever she needs it. First my shortcoming must be removed in order for me to be an effective tool for my HP.

Life still happens, and I will always be human. Having someone to guide me through to the other side helps me so much. Thank you Betty :) xxoxooxxoxoxxoxo



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Tasha
hotrod


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Posts: 1023
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Dear Tasha

Thank you so very much for your honest powerful share.  What freedom to finally accept that although we" can continue to  feel self pity and negativity "we have been given the wonderful opportunity to be set free of  the pain.  When I did this I  allowed  goodness, serenity ,wisdom ,love and courage to be available to me  in my interactions with others.   What a difference.

I am glad that we  for sharing this journey 



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Betty
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