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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Alanon Step 8
Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 8
hotrod


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Alanon Step 8
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Made a list of All Persons I had harmed and became willing to Make Amends to Them All

ODAT PAGE 173

WHO HAVE I INJURED?  SURELY THOSE CLOSEST TO ME.  I KNOW THAT MY HOSTILE REACTION TO THE ALCOHOLIC HAS BEEN HARMFUL.   HAVE I DAMAGED MY CHILDREN? HAVE I COMMUNICATED MY ANGER AND RESENTMENT TO THEM?  HAVE I TAKEN OUT MY FRUSTRATION ON THEM?

MY SHARE

Before working this Step I had to really understand the type of harm I had done to others and myself.  I must note that I harmed myself the most and I placed myself at the top of the list.  I harmed myself by making my needs invisible,  abandoning my wants, needs and dreams.  .  The harm I did to others  was mostly passive aggressive and very subtle.  In examining my motives I found the harm I had done.  Namely I was not honest about who I was or what I wanted.  I looked and acted well but underneath, I was angry, and resentful.  I judged people, and built resentments in my mind that they had no knowledge of.  I pretended to be happy and created an illusion of who I was.  I took over others decision making and tried to force them to do what I wanted.  I then took credit for their results.  I also ignored people and walked away without any explanation.  I looked at my life and noted all the people that I had harmed in this fashion and continued to go to meetings, pray, and meditate.  That was how I became entirely ready

Step 8 Questions

1. Have you started your list yet? Have you made a mental list of the people you believe you have harmed?

2How have you harmed yourself?


3. Would you like peace and healing in your relationship, even in those you don't wish to maintain? What are the barriers to healing that are still within you?

4. What are the relationships, past or present, that bother you the most?

5 How have you harmed others?

 

 

 








-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 24th of December 2013 12:12:15 PM

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Betty
Jerry F


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I've done step 8 so often that it is now a part of my daily behavior and life.  I've got a pretty good memory and still have been able to bury  some harms I've done deeply which require my HP to dig them up and lay them in front of me.  I won't bitch about that because I learned I had often left my victims feeling they were responsible for the harm and hurt when they were absolutely not.  I remain willing constantly so that my victims can be free of the pain.   I have often seen them respond with relief as a result.   "Free the victims"...do Step 8 until all of the victims are released to walk in serenity.   ((((Hugs)))) smile



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hotrod


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Thanks Jerry   Your honesty, courage and wisdom" light up this Board and our lives".  

Free the victim--  Great New Year's resolution.

I hope your Holiday Season is filled with much love and kndness.



-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 24th of December 2013 12:13:01 PM

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Betty
pp


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Well Betty..you and I could be twinsbiggrin.  This is the step that really humbled me.  Initially there were the obvious harms I had inflicted on others (my husband refers to these as low hanging fruits), then I saw those that I inflicted on me, and in present time, harms I have inflicted on me and others continue to reveal themselves to me as I go about my life.  They reveal themselves because I am open and willing to receive and remedy as best I can. 

This is a brief response, as I am in the midst of Christmas eve cooking/cleaningaww.  Working this step today is great prep for this eve and tomorrow so I can stay steady and not inflict harm in the midst of the chaos and family love/tensions.  Not liking to make amends is a great motivator for me..teehee



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Paula
hotrod


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Thanks Paula  

Although" brief " your share was filled with tremendous wisdom and humility.    Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to keep this board alive.

I too detest amends and agree we must be sistersbiggrin

Have a Blessed Holiday



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Betty
pp


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I intend to spend more time here...I had forgotten and then the month gets away from me after your initial posting.  I want to tag onto Jerry's gratitude for being steadfast and loyal to this board and the other one.  Blessings for this holiday season and beyond.



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Paula
hotrod


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smile



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Betty
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