Step 12 Alanon

hotrod · Guru

Step 12 Alanon

DavidG · Senior Member

hotrod wrote:
QUESTIONS STEP 12

1. Describe your experiences in carrying the message to others. Describe an effort that backfired or didn't work. Describe one that you believed was successful.
I propose to promote by attraction. My 12th step is a bit limited by my gender in Alanon... I 12th stepped a member a long time ago, by arrangement with her family. She has passed, but her son comes along today.

2. How have you begun to take recovery principles to areas of your life other than your primary relationships? In what areas of your life would you like to experience healing and more growth and change? You may want to turn these wants into written goals.
I was at a community meeting this morning. I broke my anonymity to a health professional- to spread the message.
my primary loyalty is to my family
I regard Alanon FG as family as well.

3. How has your relationship with yourself changed since you began recovery? How do you treat yourself differently now? How does it feel when you treat yourself well and in a nurturing, loving manner?
Nothing at all has changed, except that I have found myself. Which was already there... ...I was led there by my higher power and other members. I keep my place here by keeping in touch. T...ouch.
4. Describe your experiences trying to share or explain your recovery to family members. Get feedback from someone else in recovery, someone you trust, about these experiences.
My family hated my guts for breaching family secrets. More obvious in a small town. When our dad died that said I would end up becoming a lonely old man. So far I have proved them wrong.
5. How have you grown spiritually since you began recovery? How would you describe your spiritual awakening?
I had two awakenings so far. One at age 20 was fairly religious. The second, about 10 years ago was more about the cosmos. In my early years I felt I was having spiritual experience, from time to time. Looking back I was getting glimpses of what it was like to have safe normal emotions. I built a life a round these experiences. Today i spend time 'in the moment' a lot more. I find the God of my understaning a lot more available here. And it connects me with others... (thanks Betty).
6. Have you awakened to the beauty and joy of yourself?
Getting there, with help...

hotrod · Guru

Dear David,
Thank you for your honest and well thought out experience, strength and hope. I love to hear about how others have experienced this step and in particular the Spiritual Awakening. Others Spiritual Awakening.

I know that you carry the message often, to members on the MIP board.

Your dedication hard work is respected and is evident in your powerful recovery

grateful2be · Member

How can I best carry the message to family members is the question from Paths that I want to answer. All members of my family have been affected by alcoholism or have the disease. As the only one in my family who has entered recovery to my knowledge, it has been a difficult experience to keep working the program especially as the disease has progressed in my family members. Sometimes, I have wanted to go back to the way things were to avoid the pain that has occurred because I no longer believe in so much of what I was taught. On one hand, I know how unhealthy those beliefs are now. On the other hand, it gets lonely sometimes. I've learned that the best way to carry the message is to stick to what I am learning in Al-Anon even when difficult and painful and to spend more time with those who can accept the changes in me. It isn't my job to insist that family members get help in Al-Anon or AA. That's up to them. But it is my job to continue to work the program for me regardless of what family members do or don't do. Perhaps there will come a time when their misery will be enough that they will either enter the program for themselves or will ask me for my experience. If and when that happens, I'll be happy to support their effort in this program of recovery. Until then, I will practice what I've learned in the program with my daughter and grandson - the two people in my family I do feel at home with even though neither is in an active recovery program. I have noticed that my grandson listens to both what I say and what I do and is open with me about his own thoughts and feelings even though he is a teen now. Perhaps Al-Anon has helped me keep a door open to him that he feels safe to enter and be himself in? As a teen myself, I shut down with my parents because I didn't trust them and I didn't share much with my grandparents either. Perhaps I have been carrying the message with my grandson that could be breaking the cycle of this disease in our family? I hope so.

hotrod · Guru

Thank you Grateful2Be
Your insight and honesty has helped to carry the message tonight. I know that by practicing these principles in all my affairs i will do nothing to enable this dreadful disease and will ensure that all that i connect with are treated with courtesy and kindness.
What they do and how they act or respond is on them How freeing is that?.
Loved reading your thoughts

Serenity4uNme · Member

Carrying the message to others and practicing these principles in all my affairs was equally impressive... <- thanks betty .. seeing the carrying part after years of not .. by Working the steps we carry the serenity acceptance love hope .. the tradition I believe states helping & encouraging families of alcoholics .. we Do this By practicing the 12 steps (ourselves)

hotrod · Guru

Absolutely Serenity. By the 12th Step and 12th Tradition we have now been granted the Courage, Serenity and Wisdom to share with others. Kepp on showing up and sharing your ESH

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.