ALANON STEP 6

hotrod · Guru

ALANON STEP 6

flopadopilus · Veteran Member

Sorry it took me awhile to catch up, but here I am!

What keeps me from becoming entirely ready for God to remove my defects? I can sometimes want something and get in the way. I am getting better at flowing and handing things over to God and saying your will be done. It isn't always easy, but after seeing it works I have a trust for the process. My life just keeps getting better since I started handing over everything out of my control, which is a lot of things.

What behaviors have helped me in the past now hindered my progress? Being super alert to people there moods and thoughts, trying to be such a people pleaser. I now can look at people and openly communicate and ask questions without feeling it is my job to just know what they want or need, That is for them to figure it out and communicate to me when they know. I am about owning my stuff and handing people theirs to own, if they are not healthy enough I distance for my own well being.

How do I know when Im entirely ready? When I have realized these old behaviors no longer help me to grow healthier in my recovery.

How can step six help me to let go of obsessive thinking and enjoy the present moment? Because the more I am out of my head and living out in life the better my life is. I could lose a whole day stressing and worrying and not functioning on all cylinders. Now I can process and move through things faster and healthier and realize it is not the end of the world until it is actually the end of the world. There is rarely an actual crisis and I can not let myself get caught up in others drama and keep myself from creating it within myself.

How has my pain led me to be willing to let go and let God? Because when I was so miserable and sad all the time I got down on my face and asked God to help me and he did, he brought me to al-anon and I learned the tools and have surrounded myself with healthy amazing people who helped me through some tough things and now I am living out in life deep down into my recovery.

In what ways has isolation to be trapped in my character defects? When I was miserable and a mess I would complain a lot to almost everyone and I was just STUCK and now I have let all that go and am a new fresh person, no longer isolating myself from others, because I am not ashamed of myself or my life any longer. It took hard work and a counselor at times, a sponsor, lots of meetings, MIP and lots of support, reading countless al-anon books people recommended, but I would do it again to get through it all to where I now am!

hotrod · Guru

NICE TO SEE YOU BACK SHARING YOUR POWERFUL ESH FLOP
THANK YOU

Serenity4uNme · Member

Betty your share was very helpful to me.. it makes me wonder if i have Ever Really kept the focus Entirely on Me because it seems I Am still busier than my HP .. This is aLot for me to think about .. I wonder why it is Stil hard for Me to let HP intervene .

I could easily say I was entirely ready to have God remove my defects but that would not have been true nor would it have worked.<- was just thinking today why isn't it working ..

My defects were survival skills that kept me safe in a world that I did not trust, and did not want to connect with. <- in fact, i realise i Still don't feel safe . I have some work cut out for me .. thank u for sharing !

hotrod · Guru

Serenity Good awareness. Keep on saring and growing You are worth it.
Betty

pp · Veteran Member

I read this step last night and reflected on it this morning. I have come to experience the many layers of them and me through my recovery in al anon. Through al anon I gained the courage to see my defects ( it is an ongoing process) and the trust to release them to HP. My prayer is to remove those defects seen and unseen. They can be like bags of garbage I carry around and I desire to live this lifetime freed up and loving wildly. So far, so good!

hotrod · Guru

Dear Paula Thanks for your thoughts on this important Step in our journey to freedom . I am glad we are sharing this Journey.

pp · Veteran Member

Me, too, Betty.

wearymother · Member

I cannot imagine someone NOT being ready for God to remove the defects of character. Yet when I read those words penned by another, I began to understand. I, too have used my defects to shield myself from the world I did not trust. I stand on the threshold of a new life, a better life and yet I hesitate, clinging to the old ways. Taking this step is like stepping off a cliff. Am I entirely ready? I pray that I am.

Lord, I give my self completely to you for you to take away the defects that keep me from being who YOU want me to be. I give you my pride, my fear, my low self esteem, my guilt. I pray that you will replace these with peace, joy, contentment and obedience to Your word. Thank you, Amen.

Step six questions
What keeps me from becoming entirely ready for God to remove my defects?
Fear of the unknown. My faults and defects are known to me and I am comfortable with them, even when they cause me pain. If God takes them away, what will I be left with? That is a scary thought.

What behaviors they helped me in the past now hindered my progress?
Pride, for one. I would use pride as a defense tool. Yet, it has become a prison.

How do I know when I am entirely ready?
I think God will somehow let you know when it is time. He will nudge you toward that goal.

How can step six help me to let go of obsessive thinking and enjoy the present moment?
When God removes the defects, you no longer have the need to obsess over another's conduct. You truly have come to the point when you stop trying to control an uncontrollable situation.

How has my pain led me to be willing to let go and let God?
I realized that I can no longer live with the pain and must either let God deal with it, or die.

In what ways has isolation to be trapped in my character defects?
My constant drive to always be RIGHT, has kept me isolated from the reality of living. The reality is that it is okay to be wrong. Everyone is wrong at one time or another. And to realize that there is not always a left/right; black/white; right/wrong answer to everything in life.

hotrod · Guru

Dear Wearymother, Thank you for sharing with such wisdom and honesty. Your acceptance of your drivers and motives and the clarity that you express indicatesc your williness to let them . Keep sharing the journey

Debb · Member

What keeps me from becoming entirely ready for God to remove my defects? My fear of losing control, of not having confidence that I am making the right decisions and feeling hurt and disappointed when AH becomes verbally abusive towards me.

What behaviors they helped me in the past now hindered my progress? The one behavior that I am really working on is my resentment and/or sarcasm toward my AH, that he continually binge drinks especially on the week-ends and kinda ruins them for me. I am working on those behaviors as they arise and continually remind myself when they do arise that I am not doing myself any favors by feeling this way. That those feelings are holding my progress back!

How do I know when Im entirely ready? When I no longer hold any resentment at all.

How can step six help me to let go of obsessive thinking and enjoy the present moment? By realizing, and I do realize, that Alcoholism is a disease that is out of my control and the results of AH's drinking is only the disease talking, that I should feel compassion for his addiction and never take his verbal put downs personally. Abuse is another story, I have learned to stand up for my rights and draw the line when his verbal abuse becomes to loud and hurtful. I have learned to stand up and the right time, not when he is drinking.

How has my pain led me to be willing to let go and let God? I believe that HP has always watched out for me, the Al-Anon protocol just reinforced by belief in that. It is easy for me to talk to HP and listen for the guidance.

In what ways has isolation to be trapped in my character defects? Isolation was my way of hiding what I thought was the bad person AH said I was. Al-Anon showed me that what AH was saying to me was the chaos of the disease!! The isolation was equal to my lack of confidence and fears of failure which made me into a difficult person to be with because it put me on the defensive all the time. I can feel that I am much more relaxed and self confident, with a much broader understanding the alcholism and greater patience in general with myself and others.

-- Edited by Debb on Saturday 4th of October 2014 03:39:33 PM

-- Edited by Debb on Saturday 4th of October 2014 03:40:16 PM

hotrod · Guru

Dear Debbie What a powerful share on Step 6 !!Your
honesty and determination are evident Thanks for sharing the journey.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.