My boyfriend of two years now was in recovery, sober for four years, when we met.  Six months after we started dating, he started drinking again.  It's escalated in the past year and a half to the point where he starts drinking beer as soon as soon as he gets up on the weekends, and drinks all day.  He never drinks before work, but will stop at the liquor store on his way home to buy 2-4 "shooters" (those little airline bottles of alcohol) to drink as soon as he gets home, then he pops open a beer and drinks until he goes to bed.  I don't think he's gone a single day in the past year and half without consuming alcohol.   I'd estimate he spends over $300 a month on alcohol at a minimum.  We do NOT share a bank account.  When he's drinking, he tends to want to buy stuff we don't need, and I have to redirect him from wasting money.  No, dear, we don't need a chain saw...sigh. 

When he got sober before, it was following a DUI.  He says the IOP he attended didn't help him get sober, but the AA meetings were what helped him the most.  He never drives and drinks now.  I have become his driver.

He's not an abusive drunk.  He actually wants to clean and organize when he's buzzed/drunk, although that drives me nuts because he reorganizes my stuff sometimes.  He also gets more loving and sweet.  He doesn't get sexually aggressive, or sloppy kissing, etc, when drunk.  He's a very loving man sober, and he's that way drunk/buzzed.  I love him.  I just don't think I can deal with the drinking every single day.

Anyway, the reason I haven't gone to a meeting yet is because of my job.  I'm a juvenile probation officer.  I work with a lot of families with substance issues, and I'm scared to death that I'll go to a meeting and see a member of one of my families there, or the families of some of the adult probationers.  We're a small department and all the clients, adult or juvenile, know who all of the officers are, and we know the probationers and their families.  

I live 30 minutes away from the town where I work, but some of our clients work in the town where I live, and some attend AA meetings here.  I'm sure there are family members who attend Al Anon meetings here in my town. 

Do you think it would hurt my rapport with these families if they find out I'm in a relationship with someone with a substance problem?  I know it's supposed to be anonymous, but I really don't want it spread all over the place about my personal life.  I would never reveal anything said in a meeting to anyone else, even if it pertains to a client or a client's family.  That's just part of the ethics of being a PO.  You don't reveal confidential information.

Any thoughts?

Thanks