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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Step One
Post Info TOPIC: Step One
LearningToTrust


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Step One
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Admitting I am powerless over people, places and things and my life is unmanageable. 

Although I know that I am responsible for myself and how I respond to life's situations and circumstances, for now, I find myself powerless over how fear, anxiety and anger get triggered within me and how toxic it leaves me for time periods I am not able to control. 

Thankfully, today ... When I become toxic with fear, anxiety and resentments, I am aware of how very sick my thinking is and I know that if I do anything as a result of my sick thinking, it is absolutely wrong and will not be helpful to anyone or anything. 

I don't know if I am within Al-anon program principles when I say that I believe myself to be powerless over the affects fear, anxiety and resentments can have on me but that is my experience.  

Life is very challenging right now. I have a lot to pay attention to and a lot of responsibilities. I am aware that I take on more responsibility than is needed or appropriate and know that I need to gain lots of wisdom and clarity about what I can change and what I can't and isn't mine to change but that will take time. Until I gain that wisdom and strength, I am sure I will spin my wheels where it is not appropriate And not helpful. I hate admitting that because it is hard to tolerate "not doing things the right way." 

the chaos and violence I grew up with has left me working really really hard to "do things right" to avoid and insulate myself from circumstances that can hurt me or my family...  My efforts stopped working a long time ago ... Especially when my daughter's choices were responsible for bringing in the treat and violence. 

Today, I live with death threats from a self proclaimed satanist who is the father of my youngest grandson. 

Today, I have to acknowledge that I can't control the choices my daughter makes which includes not only her safety, but the safety of her daughter from another relationship, her son from this very sick abuser of not only my daughter, but also of the kids... (Terrible terrible terrible abuse....) and also the safety of my whole family.

Today, I have to deal with the backlash from my five brothers, (three of them being a users from my childhood who are active addicts and rage-aholics) for placing my elderly mom into assisted living for her safety as well as mine as a result of the threats we are dealing with. 

I am powerless over so much... 

I trust that there is a power greater than everything who is able to restore me to sanity within the context of so much insanity... 

Insanity that not only surrounds me, but as fear, anxiety and resentments get triggered, insanity that also courses through my system... 

I am depending on this power to do all that is needed to bring me to sanity so that what I do and think is helpful not only to myself, but also to those around me and those that will come behind me... 



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hotrod


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Thanks for your share Learning to Trust

I do believe that being powerless over our negative responses is an honest evaluation of how it is before we start using program tools. I do believe that's what brought me into Al-Anon and I'm glad that I stayed. Thank you for your clarity and I urge you to keep coming back.
Betty

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Betty
hopeful777


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Wow, just Wow and thank you, the way you worded this, meant so much. biggrin



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hopeful777
Hullibee


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Learning that I am powerless over people, places, and things.  It is the most difficult for me to truly grasp.  I know I have no control but I can't get past the crying.  I want him to know how upsetting everything is with his drinking.  Why can't I cope?  Everything in my life is in such turmoil.  I want to get better but it is so HARD to let go.  My life is unmanageable and I cannot function.  

Please God help me!!!



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sjc010555


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I had to admit I was powerless over alcohol when my partner was making my life so miserable with his drinking. It didn't matter how much I cried, begged, screamed, cussed, threatened it didn't matter. The alcohol had more pull and power that I did. It seemed the more I tried to get him to stop the worse it got. He would get mad and leave me for days until he got through with his drinking then he would come back, sorry for what he had done. Life would be good until the next time. This continued until I finally attended a couple of Al-non meetings. It was there I finally learned that I was trying to control a situation that I had no control over. Once I finally let go and admitted to myself that I had to start taking care of myself and my well being, things changed completely. My partner has now joined AA himself and has now 60 days of sobriety behind him.

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hotrod


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Hullibee and SJC I do hear you and so understand your pain and frustrations The first step is the most difficult. I know when I finally surrendered, I was in such pain I had no choice. It felt as if I was hanging over a cliff and no help was around When I let go I found the 2nd step was true There was a power greater than myself waiting to restore me to sanity.

I then understood that I was powerless and by letting go of trying to control I was merely giving myself a break and helping myself gain my sanity back. I was in no way affecting the disease in my partner. I was not surrendering the power to this disease to the alcoholic I was giving it my HP
What a gift
Betty

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Betty
ushav


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First step is very important step bcz unless I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things, everything is going to be the same. To exercise my powerlessness was very difficult initially and still it is sometimes. But whenever I completely accepted that I am truly powerless over some people beginning from alcoholic first then my office colleagues my boss people I encounter daily, I feel free and start believing that there is a power greater than me.

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Usv
ushav


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Its is an excellent post.

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Usv
hotrod


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Good Work USV- Like myself- you have moved to Step 2_ Knowing that Power greater than ourelves can restore us to sanity. Please keep showing up and working progam.

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Betty
tamera


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i am really trying to start this process,but i need some help...i am powerless over my daughter?is this how i start?i know i can't do anything about her drinking so i guess i'm lost on how to start or is that it?i really need this to help me so i'm jumping in after listening to all the podcasts.i am housebound but not helpless,so i need to do this online.is that even possible? my background i am paralyzed on my left side type one handed and that is why you'll see no capital letters,it's difficult enough without throwing in the shift key.my oldest daughter is an alcoholic.she doesn't live with me,but it is tearing hers and my grandson's and my life apart,so is it possible to do this online?i would truly love some help! thank-you

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hotrod


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Tamers I am glad that you reached out and have worked on the first Step It is difficult to admit powerlessness and let go. I understand that it is difficult for you to attend face to face meetings so as to obtain the support that you need in order to recover. We have on line meetings here each day.

Here is the schedule and web address

Al-Anon Family Group
Meeting/Chat RoomMeetings
9 AM EST Mon-Fri
9 PM EST Mon-Sat
10 AM EST Sat & Sun
7 PM EST Sunday
www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

We also have a Message Board here where you can post your thoughts and receive support from those who have been there. Web address

alanon.activeboard.com/forum.spark

You are not alone and there is hope


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Betty
tamera


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thank you,this information is very helpful

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