from the book "The 12 Steps for Adult Children"

'Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character'

"We might, on the surface, think that this is an easy thing, but many of these defects are deep character traits on which we have depended for survival. To release them means letting go of more than just a defect; it means letting go of a way of life...

"... thus far... we have only become aware of our condition...

"We prepare for Step 6 by quieting our minds and opening our hearts. Steps 4 and 5 required a lot of hard work and brought up some painful discoveries about ourselves... now... taking time to be alone with ourselves and with our Higher Power helps us to remove the distractions that sometimes shield us from reality...

"In Step 6, we confront the need to change our attitudes and behaviors. Here, we prepare to make these changes and totally alter the course of our lives...

"The changes that are about to take place in our lives require a cooperative effort. Our Higher Power provides the direction and plants the desire. We contribute the willingness to take the action required. Our job is to respond to our Higher Power's leadership in our journey. God never forces Himself upon us; we must invite God into our lives. ..

"We are not expected to remove our character defects alone. We are expected only to be entirely ready to 'let go and let God.' ...

"Step 6 is similar to Step 2. Both Steps deal with our willingness to allow God to work through us to change our lives...

"To be successful with Step 6, we must sincerely want to change our disabling behaviors. But even this desire to change will come from our Higher Power's guidance as we wait upon God's will for our lives... Our life's condition shows us that sef-will has never been enough to help us...

"At this point in our program, we see that change is necessary to live life to the fullest. Recognizing the need for change and being willing to change are two different matters. The space between recognition and willingness to change can be filled with fear... We let go of fear by holding on to God's love...

"Our character defects are familiar to us. They are whta we used as coping mechanisms to deal with our surroundings. The loss of these tools threatens our ability to control ourselves and others. The thought of giving up our character defects may cause anxiety. But we can trust that God won't remove a character trait we need. .. Even the smallest beginning is acceptable to our Higher Power. One sure way to hinder our growth is to think we are able to make the necessary changes ourselves. Healing requires God, not self will...

"As we follow the principles of the program in our daily lives, we gradually and unconsciously prepare to have our shortcomings removed. Sometimes, we are even unaware of our readiness to have our defects removed. At first, we realize that we are behaving differently - that we have changed. Sometimes, others note the changes before we become aware of them ourselves. Approval seekers  begin to function more independently; control addicts become more easygoing and relaxed; caretakers become more sensitive to their own needs. People who diligently work the program as an integral part of their lives become calmer, more serene, and genuinely happy...

"A radiant, confident person lives in each of us, hidden under a cloud of confusion and uncertainty, distracted by ineffective behavior. If someone asked us if we wanted to be freed from our character defects, we could give only one answer - we are entirely ready to have God remove them from us."