To me:

1. Unity in our hour long meetings means that each person has a right to say what is on their minds and hearts without interruption or correction; and because we are not the only one in the meeting, it is important not to monopolize the time with over sharing that which could be better talked about with a sponsor or another fellowship member after the meeting. Following the format of the meeting structure is also important to the unity of the group and helps assure that all people in the room will be heard in an orderly and serene manner.

2. A healthy group flourishes when all members are informed of the structure, agree to it, truly listen to each other during each person's turn, and participate in sharing according to the topic or step chosen by the group for the hour long session which helps to promote unity. Fighting for control, dominance or a long share on the floor leads to disharmony and chaos and does not lend itself to group unity.

3. Prejudice and narrow mindedness reduce the healing that can come about for speakers and listeners both and can create alliances and back-biting that break down trust and therefore unity in the meeting.

4. As it relates to meetings, my personal welfare is important but not everything I need to talk about can be said in meetings. By recognizing that time is limited and there are others present I can set my personal agenda aside for the purpose of group flow in the meeting which benefits the group'  I can share the "rest of my story" with a sponsor or fellowship member after the meeting. In this way, I am taking care of myself and considering the needs of others in the meeting, too.

5. I contribute to the unity in my home the same way I do in meetings. And frankly, I enjoy listening more to my daughter and my grandson than I do myself since I am with me every day and not with them as often. (Smile)

6. Although I am retired, volunteer meetings and program participant gatherings were very similar to Al-Anon meetings when I facilitated them. Everyone got a chance to be heard without correction or interruption and all people were valued regardless of their age, education, community standing, ethnicity, handicap or lack thereof, income, sex or sexual orientation, political affiliation, religious background or no religious background. Everyone knew everything and no one was excluded for any reason other than extreme negative behavior or if the topic of discussion was too mature for children. Our organization was formed for and with the people it supported so that nothing that was done was done without the valued input and experiences of the people involved with the organization. Since I live alone now, I don't practice it except when family or friends visit at home.

I did want to add that although volunteer and participant gatherings were facilitated similar to an Al-Anon meeting in said organization, board meetings were not.  They tended to be top down, with deference to the most wealthy or influential in the group, and not all voices were heard and heeded.  I would not participate as a board member or with a board again.  Had I not been involved with various ways of interacting in a group to include Al-Anon meetings, I probably wouldn't have known just how brutal board meetings can be.  I probably would have thought there was no other way to function in an organization. 

-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 28th of January 2015 10:56:17 PM

If I had not seen this tradition work in al anon meetings, I would have said, no thanks.  The first layer of understanding was that it appeared as though I would have to lose myself for the good of the group and, after so many years of "loyalty to the tribe", this did not appeal to me.  Actually, it is a good thing I did not read this tradition until I had been into al a non for awhile.  Maybe HP kept it hidden from my view to keep me from bolting 

There are times when some have not kept the good of the whole in mind through their shares and it does create antsiness in the room.  Most meetings are clear in the beginning as to the time limit and some are not clear.  Those that are not clear is where I have found monopolizing shares.

I like the opportunity to discuss the traditions.  They seemed to be the redheaded stepchildren in my readings...skipped right over 'em.

It does work when we aren't all crazy at the same time...love that thought and it is so true 

Great questions! THank you. 

Tradition one questions

1. What exactly is meant by unity?

To me, unity means the definition, united together. Coming together. But I believe when I feel true unity is when there is a sense of belonging and togetherness. For example, a group of friends and I got together to celebrate 2 birthdays. The connection and closeness felt within the group, felt so special and connected.

2. Why is unity so important to a healthy group ?

I think the connection within a group, that unity, gives a sense of working together and everyone striving for a common goal. When trying to be unified, there is a sense of order, as well as togetherness.

3. How does prejudice and narrow-mindedness affect unity with others?

When there is a break in the unity, as in trying to impose ones own will on the group, there tends to be discord. For example, there was a meeting I went to, and there was a point that one person was sharing about how things should be done, in the middle of the share, and all that it did was emphasize the negativity coming from the person. It did nothing to help the group. Following the tradition of unity within the group helps to establish the respect for others, by helping to keep out our personalities.

4. How does understanding the importance of my personal welfare change my relationships

Understanding that I personally am responsible for my actions, and not another person, helps me to stop trying to control, and react. Understanding that taking care of myself is also a way to get out of the way of others. I am responsible for my own thoughts and actions, and that in itself is a way to help my relationships be healthier.

? In what way can I contribute to the unity in my home

By taking care of myself and respecting others in my home contributes to the unity of the home. We try to have family meetings, which tend to get pushed aside due to schedules, and that seems to lower the importance of the unity in our home.  Remembering to take care of myself and that we are trying to teach respect in our home is one way to contribute to the unity.

7 How has tradition one given me insight into my behavior at home and work.?

This is a good one for work. I try to control a lot, and my co-worker I believe is an A. He demonstrates a lot of control issues and I have been struggling with that for a long time. I have finally recognized that doing my job, despite him, is one way to let go and focus on what I do and love. Also, recognizing that working with this person is not a way to live, has led me to revamping my resume and getting out there in the community and looking for a new job. Which I have the luxury now of picking between two! But recognizing my own behavior and attempts to control, led me to also pulling back and remembering that while I dont like this person, doing what I need to do is a way to take care of myself and also do the next indicated step. 

1. What exactly is meant by unity? So many different meanings .. I will use this one .. unity in our alanon meanings means to me we accept there is one authority; a loving god, and that we are not the groups Leaders .. means we join together for the purpose of healing understanding and encouragement of each other . to share experience that will give us hope and strengthen us; that we agree to follow the traditions (boundaries) of alanon without trying to cross them .. realizing the traditions (boundaries) are there to keep us mentally emotionally & spiritually safe ..

2. Why is unity so important to a healthy group ? a house divided cannot stand .. if we aren't cooperating we are closing the doors to serenity. healing. love. hp

3. How does prejudice and narrow-mindedness affect unity with others? closes the mind .. brings in gossip & criticism (weapons, rather than tools)

4. How does understanding the importance of my personal welfare change my relationships .. helps me participate in the relationship .. show up

? In what way can I contribute to the unity in my home .. Still working on this one .. by continuing to work on & focus on me mainly .. tradition 11 .. our purpose to encourage families of alcoholics, etc .. we do this By .. continuing to work the 12 steps ourselves .. can't bring unity to anyone if I am divided in myself .. love & understanding grow in us one day at a time (one step at a time)

7 How has tradition one given me insight into my behavior at home and work.? brings awareness of the needs of others as well .. keeps our minds open .. look for the common good, etc .. better atmosphere ..