My Share: I have identified myself as a control freak. This works well at work, where I am elected or selected leader quite often. And, being aware of my control freak tendencies, I delegate as much and whenever possible. BUT, when something doesn't get done, I do it. I feel like I have made great steps toward asking people to take responsibility for things, but I am not great at enforcing this. (We could be talking about my marriage as well. I ask for the dishes to be done, or the laundry to be in the hamper, but if it isn't done, I just do it myself.) I need to work on trusting that if I do not do something, if I am not the back-up plan, that someone else will step up and follow through.

Questions:
How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?
Tradition 9 reminds me that I am not the only one with an investment and responsibility to the group, and that by acting as the back-up plan, I am actually preventing others from stepping forward and taking responsibility.

What benefits do I and others receive when we treat each other as equals?

We are more creative, more collaborative, we think outside the box, and we make more progress when more ideas are on the table. It also helps to allow other to shoulder part of the responsibility. It means that we can sit back and enjoy the group without worrying about it sometimes.

How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?
Tradition 9 reminds me that others WANT to participate as well, and that they WANT their contributions to be important. Stepping in and interfering allows their contributions to be diminished in value.

How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?
Allowing others to speak, asking others to step in and take care of something. Leading together to me means leading through listening and facilitation. Summarizing, and adding details that I think are important. It doesn't mean bending people to my will. It does mean that I find the points of commonality and success and highlight them, so they can be expanded upon.

How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?
Rigid rules lead to disappointment. Accepting things as they are and allowing for things to change with circumstances allows me to function with reduced stress no matter what I am doing.

How does Tradition Nine remind me to give others the dignity to do a task without my interference?

What a great tradition this one is. And hard for me.  I really struggle with letting others do a task, as I get impatient. But I wonder if I also just do not trust them to do it. But by remembering that we create servicedirectly responsible to those they serve is important for me to remember.  I forget that way too often. And I can apply that to my family as well as work. Obviously this is something I can work on.

What benefits do I, and others receive when we treat each other as equals?

The benefits are almost immeasurable. For one, by allowing others to be on an equal, level playing field, it releases me from being the monitor. It releases me from being demanding and regulating, etc. And, it lets me off the hook. I should be able to expect adult behavior from my husband, as well as colleagues who are in the position that they are in. The sense of accomplishment comes to all when allowed to do what needs to be done, and the relief, lack of stress of having to do it all for myself when I let go.

How can applying Tradition Nine help me to delegate duties and responsibilities to others?

By allowing me to let go and give responsibility to those who are capable of having it, it frees me up to focus on other things that are important for me. It allows me to be successful as me. I dont need to micromanage, and I do it way too much still. There must always be supervision, and the ability to step in and help as needed, but letting others reach out, versus micromanaging and stepping in and taking over is demeaning and not allowing for growth for all.

How can I be a resource instead of forcing my ideas and ways of doing things and others? Where my accountable to those I serve?

When I explain things ahead of time, then step back while being accessible, that allows me to let others grow. If I do a good job explaining my desires, then give the ways to achieve it, even if it is not done my way, it allows for others to grow and feel the sense of accomplishment. And I benefit, from allowing others to grow and do, and relieving myself of everything. An example that comes to mind is just as simple as asking my daughter to unload the dishwasher. She cannot reach certain places to put glasses. I usually ask her to unload it while I am making dinner. This allows me to be accessible, and yet lets her do it and achieve that sense of accomplishment. Then, she asks for my help for the higher shelve items. We both benefit, because I am not doing everything and she is feeling as though she is contributing. It is a win-win. But, I also have to let her put things in their place, even if it may not be straight, or perfect, lol. I am a bit OCD. Its all good.

How does letting go of rigid rules benefit me?

 

I think a lot of what I wrote in the last paragraph answers this one. Letting go allows me the freedom and allows me to learn to trust again.