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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Adult Children of Alcoholics - Step 1
Post Info TOPIC: Adult Children of Alcoholics - Step 1
JamesCT


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Adult Children of Alcoholics - Step 1
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ACoA Step 1:
We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

The last straw has fallen.  It doesn't matter what it was.  You realize that you just can't keep doing life the way you've been doing.  There is something broken about you, something that other people don't seem have an issue with.

Looking at your life, you realize you grew up in a household with an alcoholic or some other trauma. And things got distorted. You were told that what you felt was wrong, or that what you think you felt isn't what you felt, or that you shouldn't feel at all.  You developed coping mechanisms to survive all of that.  But those mechanisms don't help you.

You might have started drinking.  Or maybe you don't drink, but you do other things that mess up your adult life nonetheless. And you do them over and over again. You might even think you're crazy. But whatever all this is, you know that you can't beat it by yourself.

That's what powerlessness is talking about in the text above. Powerlessness doesn't mean that it cannot change your circumstance, that it cannot get better. It just that you cannot change your circumstance by yourself. You need help. You'll find help here and at the ACoA message board.

Welcome.



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ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope) for ACoA may be shared at http://acoa.activeboard.com .
broken


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This is so right on track for me

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jill erlenbusch
Apple39


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I feel that my step one is deepening tonight. I am feeling so much that not even powerless, but completely uninvolved in my parents trauma. I was whom the bad acts ended up being directed towards, but they were never about me from the start. Not being about me, obviously I can't make it right. I didn't break it, can't fix it. Oddly enough this knowledge causes peanut (my inner child) a good bit of pain. Couldn't find a phone mtg tonight so here I am.

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hopeful777


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So true, can't do it alone. Tried this for so many years. Always ignoring my feelings, taking the "hits" from my family, being expected to always "take it" and go on. And realizing it's not about me, I was just there, born into this family. This was their way of coping. Still experiencing this today, with my family and with my son. He blames me for my husbands drinking, not being able to control it. I have to always remember the three C's. I experienced much anger when my son was young. It was not his fault. I reacted, this was my failure. I regret this so much. Wish I could go back to make this better. Moving forward is hard sometimes. I pray he discovers he can't do it alone too.


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hopeful777
freeforme


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I can't do this alone and I am powerless over the effects that addictions and dysfunctions have had over my life, my children's live and my marriage. The day that I realized this I had been sitting in a pile of pity for a couple of years feeling confused, lonely and quite angry. Questioning who I am, why am I here, and how did I get here. I started thinking I'm there for everybody but who is there for me. I realized that my thoughts were getting the best of me or at least it was more of a constant battle to stay positive. I was angry with myself for not putting myself first and accepting the years of dysfunction as not normal but perhaps not that bad. It took me some time to realize that I cannot do it by myself and I'm pretty excited to see that I am not in this alone. There are tons of people that have taken this journey before me and I'm finally doing something for me and it is "okay". I will be free.

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Jozie


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I Don't have an ACOA Meeting in my Area, So I'm Grateful you all are Here, This was My Up Bringing in a Nut Shell... My AFather Died from Alcoholism at 58, and he was a Very Sick Man... And Thanks to Al-Anon and Meetings I Have Learned to Forgive him, for he was Also Raised by 2 Alcoholic Parents...

I Can So Relate to the being told what I "Saw" Or what a "Felt" was Wrong... It still Stings at times but I have Learned thru this Program that is All Part of the Sickness of this Disease & Denial Runs HIGH In my Family... I'm Grateful I have been able to Remove the Blinders and Accept that I'm NOT Crazy, and that those around me I Can't Control, Cure or Cause their Issues... I Can However Take back my Own Life, and Start a New Any time I Choose... What a Blessing

Friends in Recovery

Jozie

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Too thine Own Self Be True...
Laura1


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I would have loved to have an Acoa group in the area and attend meetings. Or perhaps it's just another excuse like many others learnt in an alcoholic home. I'm not responsible for my choices, it's the world that forces me to chose this way. There is an Alanon meeting 5 min away but I don't feel safe attending due to the job I do and due to the fact that I would have to explain to my husband how flawed I feel all the time. And how lonely. But I am here and I'm very grateful I found this message board. 

I am powerless over the fact that I grew up in an alcoholic home and that my father's alcoholism and narcissistic personality together with my mum's and brother's undiagnosed Asperger's caused this constant feeling of loneliness and feeling unsafe. 

I have, however, the power to follow the 12 steps and teach myself the life skills and emotions that I need to live and not just survive.

Done, and thank you for reading this and for being able to relate to how I feel.

 



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hotrod


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Welcome Laura I applaud your courage and determination to recover-- onward to

Step 2



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Betty
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