Thank you Betty for your service! Step 2 gave me cause for pause big time. Simply because I was raised with organized religion, and really struggled with the teachings, the practices, my own failings, etc. As with most things in life, as the disease swirled around me, I over-complicated everything and got 'stuck' often.

For me, I simply had to break down the step as written into manageable chunks of action. "Came to believe that a power great than ourselves could restore us to sanity." I started with the back end first as I was in huge denial about who was actually insane.

My distorted thinking suggested I was sane and my A(s) were the insane ones. As I explored Al-Anon, and listened to others, trying to keep an open mind, it became more clear that many of my actions, reactions, words, and thoughts were indeed 'over the top' crazy. I had to realize that it's insane to believe the actions of another directly affect who I am, who I should be, etc. It was insane for me to expect rational behavior from those who were diseased with alcoholism. It was insane for me to assume life should be pain-free, fairy-tale-esq, etc.

Once I could own/admit/embrace/accept my insanity, I considered the front part of this step. I had a huge block in the concept of a HP. I had rejected my religious upbringing a long while before and felt a part from any concept of God, HP, etc. Others who came before suggested I just start with the first three words - Come to Believe. They were asking me to put blind faith in just believing I was not the end all/be all in my life - there were other forces at play beyond myself.

I too leaned into the literature, the group, the meetings, etc. I finally adopted the concept of Good Orderly Direction as my HP. By practicing what others suggested as well as working to focus on me and my needs, doing the next right things gave me peace - even if just for short amounts of time.

As I stayed diligent in practicing this program, I came to realize that many of my personal beliefs and conceptions about the God of my youth, organized religion and my 'resentments' were also a bit 'insane'. Over time, as my mind cleared, I came to believe and understand that I am loved by my creator (whom I call God now), and I have free will....I can choose to accept a higher power just as easily as I had rejected that in my youth. I do believe also that my creator wants me to be happy, joyous and free and all that stands between me and that is my own ego and self-will.

My accepting and embracing a power greater than I, a void has been filled in my heart. I no longer wonder if I will survive the affects of this disease - I am confident that no matter what is happening around me, I will be OK and I am not alone. I am willing each day to own my humanism, and to seek direction and guidance from a power great than I as this practice has served me well in recovery.

Let Go and Let God has allowed me to retreat from the front lines and the war. Before recovery, I really felt I had some level of control over others - what they did, when they did it, how it affected me, etc. With recovery, I know today that I have power over how I allow people, places and things to affect me and where I plant myself. Beyond that, my best course of action is to have the dignity and empathy to let others travel their journey in their own time/way. When I throw up block-aids, I am back to 'self-will' and am hurting self and others.

There is no doubt that this disease and those I love with it had become my HP before recovery. I spent most waking hours (and possibly sleeping hours) obsessing over them, a solution, a fix, a ............................. Recovery gave me the tools to not have to live like that any longer. I've heard many times that what we fixate on becomes our HP - I do believe that to be true today.

Sanity for me is an empowering understanding and practice of doing the next right thing no matter what's going on around me. Sanity suggests I don't take on the problems of the world, nor do I spend countless hours doing for others what they can do for themselves. Sanity means I wake up with a peaceful mind and a restful heart. For me, sanity has been restored and I am grateful!! I no longer expect perfection from anyone at any time - especially myself!

IAH, I am new to the program and that resonated with me in ways you can not even imagine. Thank you so much.

Hi all. I am on step 2 right now. Initially, I thought that doing step 2 met ironing out my religious beliefs. But as I am reading the literature more and more, I am realizing that I don't have to have it all figured out. In fact, it's not up to me to ever have it all figured out. The point is that God has the power and I can depend on God. So I am at a point of irony, where I need God's help to come to believe in God. It is a cycle that does not make much sense to me, but so isn't alcoholism. So I am proceeding with trying faith instead of insanity. My boyfriend pointed out to me tonight, that I always slightly undercook dinner. He asked me, why I was always rushing. He is right-- I think I just have a hard time being still, and letting things be in God's hands. I think a great exercise for me will be to work step to with a kitchen timer :) Just take my time, and let things be until the are ready. Thanks everyone for your shares and thanks to all who keep this site going.