Step Eleven Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Eleven Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Eleven - this paragraph reminds me of when I first came into the program. I wasn't much for praying, but when I did it was quick and to the point and then get on with what I was doing. I told my sponsor I wasn't getting any help from praying. She asked me "Are you listening?" Of course I wasn't. Now when I pray I also try to take time to listen and be conscious of everything and everyone around me because I never know where my answer will come from. It's not always the answer I want but it's always the answer that is best for me.

Love in Recovery - Dot

irena · Newbie

Even though I am technically on step 4, I think about this step a lot too, when I am trying to work the 2nd and 3rd steps around an issue. I never knew how to pray, and I learned a tiny bit about meditation, but Al-anon has really been a major part in helping me develop a spiritual life, and I’m so grateful for that. Still, I feel like I’m “not doing it right” or “not doing it well enough” or something. I’ll be honest, sometimes I don’t only pray for knowledge of God’s will, like last night I prayed for the willingness to feel whatever feelings I needed to feel around a particular situation. Well, it worked and I’ve found myself crying all day and “having feelings” and that led me to these boards so for that I’m very grateful!

The things that stick in my mind about this step are things that I heard in meetings: first, that when I have to go pee, I go in, sit down, and pee, then get up and I’m done. I don’t beat myself up and say “that didn’t take long enough!” or whatever. That was helpful for me, along with a reading in courage to change that said something about “anything worth doing is worth doing badly,” ie when we try new behavior we might not get it perfect the first time but it shouldn’t let it stop us from trying. The other thing was that when I pray for something, God has three answers: Yes; Yes but not right now; and No but I have something better for you. I like that too.

This is my first post here, I’m very glad I found these boards! Does anyone have anything they can share about what meditation looks like for them? I had always thought of yoga style sitting cross-legged and grounding myself, but I feel like praying is the asking and meditating is the listening for the answer, and there must be other ways to listen than sitting lotus style, right? J

Vicky R · Senior Member

Hi Dot and Irena , welcome Irena ,

thanks Dot for the information about the copyright , I'll try to do it the way that you have. Hope you have a great trip ! Thanks both of you for the reminder about listening in meditation too , when we are rushing about we so forget to sometimes !

From: Paths to Recovery pg. 111 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

" Meditation has been used in many cultures as a spiritual practice for thousands of years. Finding a quiet time in our busy lives can be difficult . Many find it helpful to schedule a specific time at a set location to meditate. In the beginning we may not need a great deal of time. In fact , success may come by trying for a few minutes at a time until we become more comfortable with the action . Almost all of us can find the few minutes needed , if we want. As we have success disciplining our minds , these brief periods of meditation will increase "

What I like about this and what I have been taught in the programme is that I don't have to do it any particular way. People can find the best way for themselves I think. And it doesn't have to be sitting in a yogi position ! some people might want to do it in a formal way while others might just sit quitetly in a chair , there's lots of CAL on it . I don't even have to do it well, one of the things I like about the programme is it's a place to get a break from having to do things perfectly , I am always new to the programme in that way , always more to learn , every now and then I realise how little I know ,

lol Vickyr x

wallsal55 · Member

For me, prayer meant taking all requests to my HP. Yep, everything....from Get Down Here Now....This is What I Want, but you decide what's best....though...actually some very specific requests...because I was in Pain.... I never felt let down. I always knew I was being 'heard'. Once my Pain was greatly reduced...prayer wasn't working quite so well...but kept on praying anyway, and I think meditation took precedence then to quiet my body, mind and soul.

After not praying so much for such a long time....things weren't going so smoothly. When I went back to praying, lo and behold, I couldn't think of much "specific" to pray or ask for. Geez, what happened to me? Anyway, my prayers now are not quite specific anymore. Since they are not, I feel the flood gates are finally opening to let in the 'good stuff' of life. Now, the word "flood" is probably an exageration, at first it felt like it would be---that first taste of joy, normalcy, peacefulness of soul..... Now it's just day in, day out simple joys, simple stuff, that I welcome and am grateful for!

lilms · Newbie

Hi,

I am a newbie, first post, first nite in chat room, first all of it. Because of life experiences I do not believe in a kind loving just God. I do however believe that there is goodness all around me. I think i must be a naturalist so I can take a walk and think out loud or just be still if I am outdoors. Works for me. I am sure I will learn more as time goes on. Right now it is about surviving the alcoholic crisis I call my stepchild and this helps me to do that.

Thanks for listening all

Annie

dot · Senior Member

Hi Annie - Welcome to the board. I like your concept of a Higher Power. When I first came to Al-Anon the tables were mine and sometimes still are. I feel that anything that gives us comfort and hope is a good thing.

Love in Recovery - Dot

(((((((((Annie)))))))))

PS - We'll be starting with Step One in two weeks.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.