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Post Info TOPIC: My Brother Jimmy


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My Brother Jimmy

Hi everyone.
It's Mel here; I was a member a few years ago and you guys helped me leave an abusive relationship and it really changed my life.
i'm struggling right now.
My mother and step-father live with my brother Jimmy, who is an alcoholic. My mother just expressed to me that she fears he will kill her. I think it's possible.
He blames her for everything and some of it is justified; she abused us badly as kids. But she's worked really hard to be a better mother and the rest of us have moved on and have lives. Our mum has really worked hard to be a better mother, and the rest of us are enjoying having a relationship with her now.  Not Jimmy.
He is stuck, and he is dangerous at this point. 
I am trying so hard to get her to an al-anon meeting but she thinks it's stupid. However she freely admits she goes to sleep expecting him to kill her. There is this protestant work ethic present in my family if you know what I mean- you never ask for help. 
My brother Pete got sober and moved away from the family home a few years ago and now he is thriving- doing a Phd in medical science and really rocking at life. I just learned that he is moving back home this week to help our mum and her husband manage Jimmy. 
It's not fair- Pete got out and made a life for himself. he shouldn't be going back.

All anyone talks about is Jimmy. I've tried to suggest rehab, and everything else. He is holding all of the cards. The entire family is being held hostage. My mum wont listen to me when i say you need al-anon. She;d rather complain and go to sleep afraid.
Do I need to detach? What if he kills her? I genuinely think this could happen and she admitted to me tonight she fears it too. That's not a detachment situation.
Any advice welcome. 

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