Step Two Questions

dot · Senior Member

Step Two Questions

Vicky R · Senior Member

hi Dot !

I've read both your posts on step two and thought I'd answer them both on here if that's OK , I liked what you said about remembering to make phonecalls to members , and the sponsor who didn't allow you to blame everything on the As . Actually I haven't met a sponsor like that funnily enough but maybe there was a 'reason' for that as they say sometimes , but that's definitely an important thing to aim for I think , there comes a point where we break out of that obsessive space and start pursuing our own interests isn't it. Great stuff ! Well what's a bit more difficult sometimes perhaps is your 4th question here , that have I been doing the same thing over and over ? I guess that's the merrygoround thing they talk about , at what point you decide to change direction , again though , the programme brings that answer too us I guess , although I don't really think it's 'fate' myself , I feel more like it's about breaking out of isolation and it gives us more of a purpose something like that , that the answers come up more easily , and with the programme the decisions usually 'just happened' isn't it , or thats how it seems anyway because some of us have lives that are too complicated to make simple sort of strategies about , we kind of go round and round until things hit rock bottom even if we don't ,

and I picked this quote :

From - One Day at a Time in Alanon - pg 300 (copyright 1992 , by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

"A fairly usual habit that is irrational and self-defeating is to make big troubles out of little ones. We don't do this because we haven't enough of the big ones - oh no ! It's because we're so weighed down by it all that everything looks black , and we fail to distinguish between what's crucial and important and what things we could afford to ignore and forget "

well I put this up because I don't always know which are the mountains and molehills and I thought it might help me to find out . And also I was going to say that I'm just answering Alanon posts at the moment , possibly might sometimes on ACOA , but hope that's OK as am not an AA member, if I only answer the Alanon posts ,

llol Vickyr x

laurie2 · Newbie

I would like to comment on question 2 "What might I gain from believing I could be supported and loved by a Power greater than myself"

This was a new understanding for me. A power greater than myself is anyone that has more knowledge on a subject than I do. Turning to others for help, to people that are where I want to be and asking them for help and support.

Now when I am stuck on something, eg. intimacy is a new thing for me to learn, I now look up information about what intimacy is, go to chat room and suggest it as a topic to hear what others in the program know, have learned etc. Or I go to someone that is not afraid to get close to people and have worked through this.

Going to a power greater than myself has been invaluable to my growth. I do not have to have all the answers. Someone out there has some answers. It is ok to seek that out. It is not just my Higher Power that I can turn to.

This was a challenge for me because of trust issues being raised in an alcoholic home and marrying an alcoholic. That is why this step was so important. It taught me to look around, see what I may want to be like, go to that person for help to get there. Soon I learned that I could choose, decern who could help me, pick people who had what I wanted etc. Such a great step. So much bigger than I thought at first.

liza · Member

Dot:

Thank you, you brought up some great questions, regarding Step 2, that I need to ponder for a day or two.

Great stuff

liza

dot · Senior Member

Thanks for your posts. To answer your qustion about posts, vicky, we may all answer any we feel comfortable with. I get a lot of help from the a point of view.

You mentioned the merry-go-round that we get on. Looking back I think the first thing I did to get off that merry-go-round was when I refused to ride with him when he was drunk. I was really scared when I said it because he could be mean but I was surprised when he handed me the keys. From then on I drove if we were together. The next time was when I went to a gathering alone when he chose not to go. I thought sure I'd be in trouble when I got home but nothing was said. Getting off that merry-go-round is very scary!

You're right laurie - many people in the program have so much knowlege and experience that we never have to want for someone who can help us with insight into a problem or situation.

Love and hugs - Dot

notcrazy62 · Member

Before recovery I saw God as another authority figure who was not to be trusted. In recovery I found that people's willingness to share their successes and pain was truly spiritual. It helped me connect with people for the first time in my life. I no longer felt like an outsider. It dawned on me that it was no accident, and just perhaps, that God was actually trustworthy.

2) what do I have to gain
Not having parents would good sense of self left me lost at sea emotionally. I always sought someone to love to feel l was worthwhile. Realizing God loved me unconditionally freed me to begin to love myself, and stop seeking self-worth from others.

3) Resentment for what other people chose to do was controlling my life. Accpting that I could only change me, and also that they could only change themselves helped me to change my own self-worth.

4) Trying to get childhood needs met from adult relationships - over and over.......

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.