Step Three Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Three Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Three was a hard one for me because I had come to believe that I had a Power greater than I was but I didn't understand what that Power was. I struggled daily trying to "turn things over" but always managed to take them back.

Finally I heard someone say that for him it was a onetime action. Kneel down and say the Third Step prayer from the Big Book of AA or one that suits you and go on with the Steps.
I did this and what a difference. The action Steps 4 - 9 kept my busy and I began to realize that as I worked through the Steps my will and my life began to change. Self-will no longer ruled me and life was getting better.

I no longer agonized each day because I wasn't perfect. I knew that one day at a time I was changing and I was doing the best I could that day. And that's all my Higher Power expects of me.

It's been quite a few 24 hours for me and each day I ask my Higher Power - that I still don't understand - to guide my thougts and my actions for another day.

Love in Recovery = Dot

laurie2 · Newbie

the first time I came through the program and I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to my HP it was freeing. Serenity started entering my life and it helped me get throught the working steps 4-9.

After being overwhelmed by bad experiences over and over I turned to my HP and begged that these experiences stop. I believed since I was 6 yrs old in a violent a home that my HP would listen if I had too much to handle.

My HP did not listen. I fell into a deep hole and lost my trust in my HP. I think this is where the footprints poem comes in. I may have lost my trust in my HP but my HP did not leave me. I am slowly moving out of this deep hole. My views are changed, I am shakey on the trust still but I am seeing some brightness again. It has taken about 9 years to go down into the hole and start to crawl out again.

In the back of my mind because of my first time through, when I made that decision to turn my will and life over, I had a relationship with my HP and that has helped me through these dark times whether I had trust or not.

Vicky R · Senior Member

hi Dot , thanks , yeah the process of handing over is amazing , imperfections and all and as you say nobody compels us to ,

"After I was in Alanon about two years , the pink cloud vanished and I found myself getting upset at meetings because it seemed to me that very few of my fellow members were sticking to the principles of Alanon . Too many were giving advice to newcomers and too many were leading the meetings astray by bringing in pronouncements from authority figures outside the program . There was much talk of alcoholism and alcoholics. I often came away from meetings less serene than when I arrived"

I picked this because it sums up a big part of my step three I went through exactly the same process worrying about what's going on in the meetings . But it just suddenly stopped ! well not altogether , but mostly now I'm quite alot calmer about what is going on there , amazing when things shift like that ,

llol Vickyr x

mamasan · Newbie

laurie2 wrote:

the first time I came through the program and I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to my HP it was freeing. Serenity started entering my life and it helped me get throught the working steps 4-9. After being overwhelmed by bad experiences over and over I turned to my HP and begged that these experiences stop. I believed since I was 6 yrs old in a violent a home that my HP would listen if I had too much to handle. My HP did not listen. I fell into a deep hole and lost my trust in my HP. I think this is where the footprints poem comes in. I may have lost my trust in my HP but my HP did not leave me. I am slowly moving out of this deep hole. My views are changed, I am shakey on the trust still but I am seeing some brightness again. It has taken about 9 years to go down into the hole and start to crawl out again. In the back of my mind because of my first time through, when I made that decision to turn my will and life over, I had a relationship with my HP and that has helped me through these dark times whether I had trust or not.

mamasan · Newbie

sorry Laurie2 Ididnt' mean to do that....Iam not sure how I did that! I was struck by what youwrote about "losing you HP" I thought that my HP had left me. It took me about 12 yrs to figure out what you did in nine, so good for you!!! mamasan

mamasan · Newbie

well almost everytime I hand something over, I take it back.....I am having a hard time with this for sure.

annah · Newbie

I believe that I made this decision at last. I struggled with it and it took me a long time. It has been a few years since I first made contact with alanon. Went to a few meetings, read some of the literature, and later found this webpage. But I have not actively participated much. Sometimes months went by with no stepwork at all. Stuck on step 123. Something Dot said "step 3 is a one time action" helped me over the bump. I have been thinking about that for a week or so. I believe I am ready to admit that my self will did not work. At times in the past I have felt as if I tried to do everything I was supposed to, but things were still bad. I had great difficulty surrendering to God as I did not trust Him to take care of me....here comes the crunch...CARE OF ME THE WAY I THOUGHT HE SHOULD. I now realize that everything will never be easy, that even when I thought I was doing OK I was wrong. It was me making things harder than they need to be, not God. This time I am going to give His way an honest go. I am going to let go of, and every day keep letting go of my way. I am also going to attach less importance to how I feel. Even if I do not feel like praying, reading, letting go, even if I feel scared, even if I feel angry, even if I feel like ranting and raving at the a and do not feel like detaching.....I am going to stop and think about what my Higher Power wants me to do and not what I feel like doing.

Does that make sense? For almost two years now I have lived in an area where there seems to be no f2f meetings at all. Just a few days ago I heard of someone that may know someone that is involved with 12 step...I am hoping to get contact information soon. In the meantime perhaps I should get an online sponsor? Anybody with any thoughts on how I could go about doing that?

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.