Step Two Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Two Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Two was a tough one for me. I was raised in a Christian home but no longer believed in organized religion - and still don't. But Al-Anon gave me a group of people who told me that was ok - that I had a choice - that I could believe in whatever worked for me. For a long time my Higher Power was the tables.

I continued to go to meetings waiting to be restored to sanity. :):) Then I got a sponsor who pointed out to me that the Step said "could" not would restore me to sanity. This meant that the choice wa mine - I could dig in and work the Steps in my life or stay insane.

This was a turning point for me. One day at a time for many 24 hours I have been on a journey to discover my Higher Power. Some days it's still the tables - some days it's Good Orderly Direction - and some days it's just a feeling that I am not alone. Whatever it is it seems to be working for me and my life continues to get better.

Love in Recovery - Dot

peggysnowmom · Member

Thanks Dot. Step two for me is knowing that something bigger than me was there to help me make good choices. When I came in I had panic attacks and was ready to up and leave if I wasnt comfortable. My higher power ( to me is God) helped me to stay for the whole meeting. I knew than that al-anon was good for me. My whole life was topsy, turvy and I didnt feel insane. So working to find my higher power and using that power started me on a new path. Panic attacks are almost gone and I have all of you to thank for being there for me. If you dont feel you have a higher power, try using your group, nature, and if you are like me you will see that power in the sun's rays coming down from the clouds and in a sun rise and a sun set. Hugs. Peggy

Vicky R · Senior Member

thanks Dot and Christine for your shares that's one thing I liked about the programme is that you can believe what you like even if it's not religious ! there's always the option of believing in the twelve step network if you are an atheist for instance . Yes as you say developing a useful belief system can be a challenge for some but I gather the general idea is to just keep returning to the programme in one way or another hoping that things will become clearer in time . Welcome to the newcomers too ,

llol Vickyr x

From: Alanon's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions pg. 15 (Copyright 1981, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

" The non-believers admitted to being powerless to control all the events of their lives , but with the help and support of Alanon , trust in a 'Power greater than ourselves' came in time . That meant being allied to an unfailing source of security and comfort "

MdmDragonfly · Newbie

For me the part of step two that blew my mind was about restoring ME to sanity !?! I wasn't the insane one, was I?? LOL

I have always believed in my HP (God) so that was not hard.. It was coming to face the fact that I had indeed become 'insane'. My whole life and way of living was 'insane' and to look back now, it is easy to see. It is not so easy to see while we are going through it as the craziness seems to only be coming from the one with the addiction. Unfortunately, for me, my actions, reactions, emotions and everything else had, indeed become utter insanity. How many sane people do you know who would put up with such abuse, creep around in fear, have so many excuses for living in such an unhealthy environment? How many sane people wake up getting peed on in the middle of the night by someone who couldn't even wake up to use the bathroom? How many sane people spent their lives cleaning up after and taking the fall for someone who could not even make it till 8 am without a beer?

Once I came to realize the depth of my insanity, asked my HP to show me all the ways in which I needed to heal and started learning to live rationally, my work in this step started to show some fruit.

I had become used to living that way, so being rational is still a bit tough for me. I am learning to trust my HP, to let go and let God, to let him restore me to sanity. Progress, not perfection.. right?

demilas · Member

Thank you Dragonfly! It seemed like you were talking directly about me. There are still a lot of things I need to learn about this step program, but that was very helpful. I do believe I need to change myself, with the help of HP (for me it's God).

hersh · Newbie

(((Hi everyone)))

I love this step because it reminds me that I was becoming insane!! My thinking, my actions, my world was tilting out of control. I like the quote somewhere that says that Step Two introduced them to sanity! Rage, self-pity and turmoil consumed me, still does sometimes.

I remember working the steps for the first time, and on this step my sponsor suggested for me to pray to let HP come into my heart. I felt so strange saying this, but things began to change. To this day I cannot describe what my HP is, but it is there, a connection with something greater than me that keeps me going.

I, too had panic attacks, and still feel that panic feeling. I ask HP to remove it and help me to deal with my fears, and get out of my self. It is a process, but taking this first step "coming to believe" is so important.

Love, HeidiXXXX

Theresa · Member

HI!!!!!!!!!!

SO glad to be here and I'm catching up.

I am so thankful for my belief in my higher power which I always had, The beautiful truth for me is that Alanon is the connection to my higher power that I hadnt felt before totally. I seemed to have felt that there was something missing. seemed like it was something I couldnt reach. SInce I walked into these rooms almost a year ago I feel closer To my God. Alanon is like the icing on the cake so to speak. It reaches a part of my soul I didnt realize was there.

Feeling crazy was what brought me here. Something was really wrong with me. Not the AH.and I wanted to fix it fast. Little did I know that I will be spending the rest of my life in these rooms until I meet my God.

Thanks!

Theresa

carrie · Newbie

All I can say is I'm so glad this forum is here. I think I have the concept of HP but never use it regularly. Many years ago I needed help with my daughter & knew there was nothing I could do so I just gave her to God & she was looked after and got through the bad times.

With my A, I realize I need help with me and him. In so many ways i am lucky but my life at home is terrifying. I am safe physically but emotionally drained. I need to go to work to forget every day. No-one else knows what hell I live in. I have to trust my HP to look after me. I am so used to looking after myself.

Carrie

ShelBell · Newbie

Insane behavior....

I can point out at least 3 different occasions in the past two years or so of my AH active drinking where my behavior was as insane as his. I remember one of these nights during a horrible drunken fight--I was fed up, got hammered and let him have it--he was drunk as well. I remember that I was in my bathroom, screaming at him, and caught a look at myself in the mirror. I looked completely insane. He told me I was being irrational. I screamed it back at him "Yes, I am IRRATIONAL" If that isn't insane....

That is when I realized I was going down this road with him and if I didn't try to do something about it, I would end up worse than him, maybe an alcoholic myself.

I prayed for help in feeling affection for my husband again, as these incidents were all brought on by anger. For help in not resenting him, as it had made my love for him bitter. I got it. The more I asked for these things, the easier it became for me.

God is restoring my sanity a little at a time.

SheilaC · Member

I believe in God, I know He is real and that He is a kind and loving father. For some reason I have had a hard time giving up control to Him so He can not have a pesky woman running around obsessing, squirrel-caging, and ultimately messing up chances for peace and serenity. I am like Martha, worried that it's not under control. HOW STUPID.

I know that he orders my steps. He's met me with a bridge stone when for all intents and purposes looking down I've seen a chasm 10,000 ft deep below me. Miraculous things have been provided ordering my steps so that I am cared for and don't worry. Like the lily of the field I haven't had to worry about the things that I wear, the bills that I pay, there's been uncanny events that I know He had a hand in to ensure my ongoing peace.

Why is it that with my relationship I have such a hard time understanding that He has a plan with it too. I should trust alot more then I do, because He knows both of our hearts and knows both of our pain, and knows my desires for love and a relationship with my boyfriend where he is living a victorious life free from the bondage of addiction. I am learning to give it over to Him, and trust what I don't know. Because when I don't the insanity kicks in.

I don't know if He will work to fix my broken relationship. I don't know if He desires this man to be by my side. I don't know if He wants to heal all of the shame, pain, and low self-esteem in this man. He may not do any or all of them. He may free this man but not have him walk by my side. I guess if anything I at least would ask that.

Learning to let go is very hard, because with my issues from childhood I resist letting anything happen without my hand dabbling in it to control my safety or path. But in the larger scope of life it's what I believe He needs me to do. So I pray for the strength to do that. For the surrender to do that. And I pray for a restoration of my sanity.

-- Edited by SheilaC at 06:43, 2006-12-18

-- Edited by SheilaC at 06:46, 2006-12-18

Lilith · Newbie

dot wrote:

Step Two - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

From: Paths to Recovery pg. 18 (Copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.)

The basic principle introduced in Step Two suggests that there is a Power greater than we are that provides hope for sanity, whether we are living with active alcoholisn or not. Step Two reaffirms that we may be powerless, but we are not helpless, and we are not alone. For many of us, the introduction of a Power greater than ourselves is difficult to understand. Some initially believe that we are speaking of a religious entity. We are not. We are speakiing of a loving, caring, nurturing Power that provides us with guidance in dealing with the effects of the disease of alcoholism.

Love to you all. Really happy about the response this time. - Dot

I'm a bit late catching up on these AlAnon steps, but I figure better late than never! I'm so thankful that these boards exist and that there is help on working the steps. It's really helpful to read what others are saying about the steps. So, thanks!

Step 2 is a hard one for me. Okay, they're all hard for me. :) But, having accepted step 1, knowing that there is a power higher than myself that can restore me to sanity is really a life saver.

I do believe in the positive energy of the universe. I do believe that putting my faith in that positive energy can restore me to sanity and help the functioning of my life.

For me, this is something I need to remind myself every day. There *is* a higher power that can restore my sanity. There are things in the universe I cannot understand and I just have to believe. I have proven to myself that I cannot solve my life's problems through codependency. I know that the way I think I can solve a problem (control, manipulation) will only make things worse.

I am happy to be working these steps again and to get back in touch with my higher power. Just listening to the will of the universe puts me at ease and gives me a sense of hope that my life does not have to be insane.

Best,

Lilith

plsrolmo · Newbie

I decided a long time ago that I could do nothing to change my AH's behavior, that he had to want to change. And I knew that I needed to change for my own sanity and that of my children. I just didn't know how to start that process. I am so thankful for Al-anon. Since finding Al-anon, my life is taking a change for the better.

I do believe that some power is guiding all of us, I am just not sure of what that power is. I believe it is found in nature, and all those things which make us feel safe and peaceful.

It was hard for me, and still is sometimes, to let go and let HP take over. I have always been held "responsible" for others. My parents expected me to take care of younger siblings, and pay the consequences if something went wrong. My job requires figuring out problems and "fixing" them. But, I have come to realize through the steps that not everything can be fixed by humans. Sometimes HP needs to fix them.

I am so much more at ease since I "came to believe". My house is calmer. I no longer live with my AH, but see him on a daily basis. HP helps me to deal with his actions and attitudes.

I am so greatful for my HP, and the new friends I have found at Al-anon, for helping me to restore sanity to my life.

Patty

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.