Step Three - Al-Anon

dot · Senior Member

Step Three - Al-Anon

new1111 · Newbie

i have done this step a while ago and was comfortable to move on. lately i felt ive been slipping and needing to revisit this step. feeling like i had to let go let god of everything in my life. this post reminded me that step three is about taking the steps to hand things over to hp, not doing it all in one nite. progress not perfection

Blessed · Senior Member

Step 3

Hi,
God is in Control.
I am prepared to go on to Step Three only because I have admitted that I am thoroughly powerless and my life is unmanagable. In Step 1 and 2. God can and will restore me to Sanity. If I haven't worked those 2 steps I am not ready for 3.

In the Alanon family group book step three is pretty basic. Many people come into Alanon wanting for there Alcoholic to acheive Sobriety. They want God to fix the Alcoholic.
Coming from a house raised by an Alcoholic and another Co- Dependent it was really interesting. It has takes SURRENDER to grow in Gods Grace to really LOVE MY PARENTS and FORGIVE THEM for hurting me.

If I don't turn my life over to God everyday I sink into memories of yesterday, despair, guilt, control, selfishness, anger, bitterness, woe is me, all the things I hate about myself.

I have an only Son "I LET GO" after so much emotional, financial, and spiritual help I feel we did "MORE" than we should have. God I beleive interceded and we have no money left to help him anymore. It was "MY CHOICE."
No one is allowed to drink, smoke or use drugs in our house.
It will take my Son SURRENDERING to GOD to FORGIVE ME, HIS DAD, OTHERS and HIMSELF then he will get SOBER.

Love Blessed

newbie28 · Newbie

"Made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." In Step 1 I admit that I can't, Step 2 GOD can, and in Step 3-I think I'll let him! I have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired before I feel ready to make this decision. Self will rules and until I become willing to accept that there is a different way to live and God through Al-anon provides the tools to get there I will remain stuck. My distorted thinking and coping strategies are rooted in the disease of alcoholism. Today I pray to be willing to Let Go and Let GOD.

JoanD · Member

step 3 is ongoing for me. When I first approached it, I must admit, it was with arrogance and anger. Kind of like "OK God, you think you can do this (whatever problem at the time) better? Fine, go ahead, it's yours!" I don't think that is the recommended way - but that's what I did. And as you might guess, God met me where I was, and helped. I was so amazed and baffeled that I tried it again the next time my back was against the wall and it worked again. Anyway, that's how i got started on this step. Today, I know that i can choose to practice this earlier, instead of later. Don't even have to wait for a problem, can just give Him my day each morning. Giving it to Him is getting easier - leaving it there is another story. But I keep "plugging along" and "it works if you work it"

Baffled · Member

Reading about this step in 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, Courage to Change and One Day at a Time in Alanon prepared me to handle a situation that came up when (a) asked for money. I went into a room by myself, said the Serenity Prayer, prayed that God "please handle this because I can't" and emotionally for me the situation improved.

It was then I realized that the world is spinning on its axis without me and will continue to no matter what I'm doing. This means that everyone is in the care of their HP who is running everything whether they recognize it or not.

Making the decision to turn my life and will over to the care of my HP is very comforting and spares me the energy I would spend trying to control things.

Tahir · Senior Member

"Making a commitment to try" ~ that's a beautiful way to put Step Three in perspective. Thanks for the gentle reminder and the frog anecdote. Now, when I think of the difficulty in turning over the situation with my loved one over to my Higher Power, that was because I was overwhelming myself that I need to turn over thru my third step and that was too scary and seemed a humongous task to do. Merely making a commitment to try to turn over seems easier, surely... So grateful that merely by logging in at these online forums, I receive exactly what my Higher Power wants me to know at that moment...

Rita G · Member

One part of Step Three that stands out to me is the last part - "God as we understood Him"

I have been a part of the Al-Anon Family Groups for almost 4 yrs now and my concept of God has change tremendously. It was scary turning my life over to someone that I really didn't understand or know on an intimate basis.

As I have grown in this program, my relationship and understanding of my Higher Power has become so personal. My God is my very best friend. I know when I try to run my life, He gives me gentle reminders that it is best if He is in control. He lets me try my own will and even lets me get angry at Him when things don't go my way. Then the God of my understanding loves me, accepts me and gently guides back onto the "recovery path"

That is what is special about Step 3 for me.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita

Blessed · Senior Member

Lord,

Iam learning that there is an aweful lot I can't do.
I can't control life the way I am used to.
I can't make people be what I want.
I can't stop the pain inside me.
I can't even fully submit to your plan yet-I'm still too frightened of you.
But I know that there is one thing I can do right now.
I can make a decision to turn my life and my will over to you.
Making the decision doesn't mean I have to make it happen.
Making the decision doesn't even mean I understand you or your plan.
Making the decision doesn't even mean I'm entirely willling, but it does mean that I know that your way and will is right.
Lord, turn my simple decision into a reality.

Author Unknown

gligirl · Newbie

I HAVE BEEN COMING TO ALANON FOR ABOUT 3 MONTHS, AND I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR DONE WITH EACH STEP, EXAMPLE STEP THREE!! A FEW PEOPLE I HAVE SPOKEN TO TELL ME IM DOING GREAT AND IM WAY AHEAD, MAYBE TO SOON!! I HAVE BEEN WILLING TO HAND MY LIFE OVER TO ANYONE WHO WOULD TAKE IT!!

gligirl · Newbie

THE PAST FEW WEEKS THERE HAVE BEEN SITUATIONS IN WHICH I NORMALLY WOULD HAVE OVER REACTED, BUT INSTEAD I PRAYED"GOD PLEASE SHOW ME A BETTER WAY TO HANDLE THIS" I TOTALLY PUT THE SITUATION IN HIS HANDS AND THE MORE I DO THAT TH EMORE IT WORKS OUT, AND THE MORE I TRUST MY HP!!

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