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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> an easier, softer way
Post Info TOPIC: an easier, softer way
amanda2u2


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Date:
an easier, softer way
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 "We looked for an easier, softer way, but found that there was none."


 The Big Book says that many people think, at first, that this program is too hard,,,  and we balk at 'rigorous' honesty, 'willingness' to do it 100 %. We think maybe we can skip a couple of the Steps that are especially difficult,,,   like making amends to others, or bringing the message to the still sick and suffering, especially if the sick and suffering are our own family members. Maybe we can compromise to make the program a little more attractive and skips Steps 4 and 10,,,  or take someone else's inventory and demand that they make amends. Maybe we can still control others a little bit, and forget about the God part.


Let's think about this before we cycle again and start with Step 1. Can we just give it lip service?  Maybe my life is kind of manageable on my own,,  if my sister would just leave. Maybe Step 2 can be a doorknob, and I can only pretend I believe,,  or just skip that one and go on to Step 12 and become an expert on giving other people advice.


Do I really have to do my 'best'? or can I just dabble in it a little bit?  Maybe I can excuse myself by admitting that I can't do it perfectly,,, and if I don 't do it perfectly then why bother at all?  Or how about if I practice telling someone else how to do their Step in their life,,, and if that works out then I'll try it myself.


Maybe there is an easier, softer way, and it is just that 'they' don't want to admit it and just want to give us a hard time.


love in recovery,


amanda



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do your best and God does the rest, a Step at a time
Wantneeda


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Posts: 22
Date:
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I can't afford an easier softer way!!!!


I'm 100% sure of that!!!


Show me the way!!!!



\\//peace and luv, Wendy



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cheri


Veteran Member

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Posts: 48
Date:
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Thanks Amanda...great things to think about.


When I first came  in, I was told that I only had to get the 1st step right. They told me 90 in 90, but then said since I was really sick I better make it 180 in 90. I think what I'm trying to say is that I had no idea what was good for me back then. I had to do what other people told me to do because my best thinking got me in trouble. So for a long time I did exactly what I was told to do because I was staying sober. Fortunately, I had a sponsor that would never take advantage of that fact and she worked me through the steps.


When I did my 4th and 5th steps the first time, I thought I had been rigourous and honest. But later on, I realized that I had missed some things, so back to the list I went. And my sponsor had told me that I would probably remember stuff later and to not sweat it, just do it again. I think as i continued to stay sober, more things started to come up that I probably couldn't recall in the beginning but now needed to clear away. I was sober for almost 2 yrs before I did a sex inventory, because I really had blocked alot of stuff out. Maybe God was protecting me until I could handle the past? I kinda like to think so.


I still have a list of people that I owe amends to. Some of them just haven't come back into my life yet, but I am WILLING to make right what I did. I guess that's all I can do, and pray that God puts them in my path when the time is right.


Do I work this program perfectly? Not even close! But I have the rest of my life to keep working on it. For me, this is the easier, softer way. I have nothing but respect for those that can stop drinking and never do another thing about it. But for me, I had to have more. I needed to learn how to live without drinking, to enjoy life sober. That's what AA taught me, and continues to teach me.


Love, cheri



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GammyRose


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Posts: 16
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Hey everybody, it seems I almost always have to do things the hard way. I have to fall hard, search hard, and pray hard. I am trying to learn balance, the program is teaching me that, one day at a time.Softer, gentle ways don't work for me.


(((Hugs)))


GammyRose



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