This was the step that I had trouble with...turning my entire life over to the care of God. I had had a spiritual experience that lead me to AA, I had a belief in God, but for 20+ years I had been a prime example of self-will run riot. I hadn't a clue how to even start. I spent alot of time looking for an answer that I could be comfortable with.

My sponsor asked me to start writing down all the times in my life I had been in situations that should have resulted in consequences for me. I hadn't really had any major consequences for my drinking...and I told her that. She said...that's not what I'm asking for. I'm asking you to look at your life and find the times that you SHOULD have had consequences. Did you ever drive drunk? Yes. Did you ever find yourself in a place and not know how you got there? yes.

After completing that list she looked at it for a minute and said...If that's not God taking care of you I don't know what is. She showed me in that very subtle way that God had always been doing for me what I could not do for myself...Keeping me alive. The miracle was that I was still around.

I started out by asking God in the morning to help me through the day. When problems arose I stopped and asked God how I should handle it. At night I said thank you.

For a long time acting "as if", my understanding of my relationship with God has grown to what I believe today. As I continue to stay sober, I continue to grow in my relationship with God.

My sponsor didn't let me stay "stuck" on a step for very long. She knew that this was a matter of life or death for me, and she insisted that I continue to work the program. To this day, when she and I talk, the first thing she says is...What step are you on today?

Just another example of God doing for me what I cannot do for myself.

Love,cheri