Step 2... Who is my HP?

Desirae · Veteran Member

Step 2... Who is my HP?

tlcate · Veteran Member

I love this share, thank you.

For me - it is simple.

Believe.

Willingness.

Humility.

tlc

failte · Member

hi am i right in thinking that this is the begining of the 12 steps and you are now on step 2? if so does that mean we can come in here and discuss, or do we just read the step every two weeks? thanks

tlcate · Veteran Member

We just don't seem to get enough traffic to have a step every two weeks. I have tried to get it jump started, but it just hasn't happened.

This is definitely supposed to be a discussion. Please share your ES&H about the steps or ask any questions you may have.

Maybe together we can get things moving here! I LOVE the steps and would be so grateful if this board was a little more active.

Tricia

failte · Member

forgive my ignorance but what is ES&H???? am not use to all the lingo yet!

will post in detail about step 2 soon, yes, maybe we can start the steps here, or discussion about it, i am completely new so will be asking many questions, and hopefully by doing so others will join in

for example, step 1, seeing as I dont drink, what do i confess I am powerless over? if I had to suggest something, would it be that I need to accept I am powerless over my sons drinking? as I have been trying to control it, by way of what nights, how many drinks, how much money he spends on it, so in order to complete step 1, do I need to see I am powerless over his drinking and i cannot control him or the amount, or nights, he drinks?

failte

Emi · Newbie

failte wrote:

"forgive my ignorance but what is ES&H???? am not use to all the lingo yet!...

failte"

Failte...it means experience, strength, and hope...and don't worry, there are many slogans and acronyms...I hear new ones all the time.

Here's a recent one I just heard and I like it a lot...

Youll see when youll see

Youll hear when youll hear

Youll work it when youre ready

In Gods time, on time, all time is Gods time

Love, Emily

-- Edited by Emi on Monday 6th of December 2010 11:37:46 PM

tlcate · Veteran Member

Experience, Strength, & Hope

It is a principle we in the 12 step programs try to live by. The idea of not giving advice, but sharing our experience with a particular subject, what it was like, and how the program has helped us approach that situation differently.

As for examples of what you are powerless over, sounds like you picked a perfect one to start with! Someone else's drinking. Whatever helps you grasp the idea and then as you spend more time in the program you will see how true it is in many areas of your lives. For me, it also helped me gain power as I am the only person I CAN control and I have more control over myself than I thought. Even then, we learn to return to step 1 when we have done the work, done our best, and we have to let go and realize we are powerless over the results.

As for your son's drinking as time goes on you will learn about boundaries and that you may not be able to control his drinking, but you can control how it effects YOU. You can control how much of YOUR money he spends on booze and if he drinks in YOUR house, or even if you want to be around him when he has been drinking. There is always a door in a room . . . whether it is to step away from a drunk or into a meeting.

Do you have a sponsor you are working with as you go through the steps?

I am so glad you are here and look forward to your questions as you go through the steps. Please keep coming back.

Tricia

failte · Member

thanks for explaining that guys, and i will share my ESH, I have started by controlling my own finances, and have stopped giving my son money, for the last 7 months I have not given him a penny, I have finally accepted that if I give him money whatever its for, it helps him have more money for alcohol,

I have also accepted I cant live with his drinking or around it, so I moved out, temporarily for 7 months, foolishly believing he would stop so he could have me home, but he didnt stop, so I moved back in and put him out, again accepting that I cant live in my family home with his drinking,

thanks for this as it has helped me see I am not as powerless as I thought at first, because I have began thinking of me and taking action, even though it hurts, can be very confusing and of course there is the guilt, but still, given all that I have done it, and am now enjoying being back in my family home with NO alcohol around me,

failte

failte · Member

Step 2. What is my higher Power?

My higher Power is God, I was raised a catholic, but had a very sick upbringing by nuns and the people around me who claimed to be believers and Christians but were anything but.

As a young child however I did find solace in the local church, it was quiet, always open, and a place for me to hide out, away from my hectic, chaotic family home where there was always some crisis or drama. The church offered me somewhere warm and quiet where I could be alone with my thoughts for a few precious moments each day, and I did feel that someone was there watching over me, protecting me.

Of course then as an adult when I began to feel the real pain and despair I hated God, couldnt believe if he was there he would allow those things to have happened to me, an innocent child, after a very violent marraige I was more convinced than ever he didnt exist.

But then something happened to me, a revealation of sorts, my brother took his life, it shook me to the core, I was distraught, but eventually I began to wonder how I had survived in this world, why I hadnt taken my life too, given the pain and despair, the lonliness, the isolation and confusion I had been going through every day was a battle to survive, it was then I felt that perhaps someone had been watching over me, while I was a child, someone had perhaps helped me to exist in this awful world, and someone may have helped me to survive as an adult.

I began to seek out peace at all costs, I tried going back to the catholic church but it just wasnt for me, was still too harsh, too judgemental, full of rules, so i found a christain church and settled right in.

I have tried everything in my life, drink, drugs, etc etc, but nothing works for me like God does, its the first thing I have ever stuck at, and people who knew me years ago cant believe the difference in me, ye, my life is still very hard, and I still sometimes lose my way and wonder, but thats what faith is, believing in the unbelievable, we cant see or touch the wind but we believe its there!

My faith is like a big warm blanket wrapped round me, comforting me, I read my bible every day and I pray, lord do I pray! I dont want to go on too much or "preach" but here is an exercise I would like to share with you that helps me.

"Imagine a beautiful gift box, you choose the colour, take the lid off, the lid is beautiful with a ribbon wrapped around it, now take all your worries, troubles, anxieties, one by one, offer each one of them to God, and one by one go through them at lenght, and then place them in the box, ask God to take them from you, let God decide what to do with them, for now, just rest in the fact that God has removed their burden from your shoulders, once they have all been placed in the box put the lid back on, when they return to your mind, refuse to worry about them or think about them, remember you gave those worries to God, dont insult God by trying to deal with them by yourself or take them back from him, in the same way you would insult a friend by returning a gift to them"

I hope this helps in some small way,

failte

tlcate · Veteran Member

Beautiful step 2 share, Failte. Thank you.

For me, I haven't found the faith in God or any other single being that so many others have found. As I read different religions/disciplines/concepts, I seem to relate most to the Tao, though I see common threads through all of it - at least from an academic standpoint, if not by it's followers.

For me, Step 1 - 3 are about humility. The concept that I am not going to fix my sick mind with my sick mind. That in order to learn, grow & heal I have to reach out and become part of something bigger. The more I learn, the more there is to learn, and the more humility I find. I respect all faiths and those that practice them - that do so with honor and humility, with attraction rather than promotion. Because in the end it is not about being right or wrong, my God versus your God or your lack of, but the peace, integrity, serenity, love, and service to others we offer. I believe that these are what restore me to sanity. These practices in my daily life. I stumble much, but know that with repetition I will get better, with forgiveness I will go forward. With love and tolerance I will grow.

There is a quote from the movie "Angels and Demons" that I absolutely love:

Robert Langdon: I'm an academic. My mind tells me I will never understand God.
Camerlengo Patrick McKenna: And your heart?
Robert Langdon: Tells me I'm not meant to. Faith is a gift that I have yet to receive.

Even without this "faith" or "belief" - I want to surrender my will. When I think of "willpower", I think of unbending and stationary. I believe that strength comes in the ability to bend. I want to do the work, do the next right thing with grace and serenity. I am not very good at that yet. I fight hard to be successful. What I have improved is not trying to control others - to force them to live their lives and their beliefs to how I think they should be. Who says I know anything? Progress not perfection.

Tricia

failte · Member

Hi Tricia

thanks for that, it all makes sense, yes, sadly religion can have its bad points in that it can be seen as extreme, and shoved down our necks, it causes war, and hate, etc etc.

But I steer very clear of all that, and try to practise in a way that only serves me, in other words my faith is for me, what works for me, I never shove it down someones neck, or try to prove a point with it, but when I feel its necessary I will use some of my wisdom to help someone who is hurt or damaged and is searching, I simply tell them what happened to me, what I believe, and then I tell them to try for themselfes and see if God is out there, I do believe that God finds us, we dont find him, so if he is looking for us, he will put people in place to bring us to him, but I never try to convert someone or force my views on them,

I know that Christians believe we are to tell people of our "Good news" and I understand why we would want to share our new found faith, only, I believe in gently guiding someone in that direction, an example of this would be when I meet back up with old friends, I give them a couple of months to get to know me again, they always marvel at how much i have changed for the better, and they ask me what it is that helped me, they know of my childhood and how awful it was for me and they cant believe how calm and at peace I am with myself and the world, given what I went through, they expect me to be bitter and angry and messed up and tortured.

then I tell them I believe in God, but I always leave it at that and tell them if they ever want to talk to me about it, I will do, but if they dont come to me and ask, I dont offer, I simply wait.

Some come and some dont, life is a journey, we all join it at different stages, people come in and out of our lifes, and we help them on that long painful road, but I know you cant pull them and you cant push them, so I carry on doing whats right for me with my God and give others the dignity and respect to carry on with thier God or even without their God if they dont have one or believe in one.

You sound very much at peace with yourself, and as if you have direction, thats as much as we can hope for, peace and a sense of direction no matter who or what we believe in, peace should be our aim or goal, because without peace we have nothing, by peace I mean peace of heart, peace of mind, peace of body, soul and spirit, for so many years I was tortured, damaged, demented, confused, my life was full of chaos and drama, ups and downs, now I am on a level, I am balanced, I strive for peace more than anything else, peace is the single most important thing to me, over love, health, wealth,

failte

-- Edited by failte on Tuesday 7th of December 2010 04:32:03 PM

-- Edited by failte on Tuesday 7th of December 2010 04:33:57 PM

-- Edited by failte on Tuesday 7th of December 2010 04:36:32 PM

Jerry F · Veteran Member

It is telling to read that we have had similar experience with the before the then and the now. Very similar and for me that is what calmed me down into realizing that I
was not so different and that I could relax with the similarities of other and then move
on to listening to their new experience which supported my own search for growth.
That is what Al-Anon and AA the spiritual programs of recovery have been for me.
Both I have come to understand along with their memberships are intruments of a
Power Greater than myself for the sole (soul?) purpose of bringing my life into
balance which is one definition of sanity for me. We have had similar journeys in
regard to religions...concentrated beliefs and practices of a definite order...I came to
distrust religion also and was also born into it; culturally; and practiced it with purpose.
It didn't work for me because I fell into a part of life that my religion finally said to me
we don't know about those things but keep practicing this. Of course that which they
"didnot know about or have insight to or experience to share was addiction." For sure
addiction runs in people and people make up churches and religions and religions are
addictions themselves. So I also went on the journey of personal discovery; a personal understanding of my own Higher Power...If others said "HP is real" I started
with that premise. They were right. HP is real and I don't even have their personal
awareness and understanding of a HP...I arrived at it between HP and myself. Yes
the people in program led me to the door (lol first metaphor for my coming to under
stand an HP was a doorknob...you can't open a door without one) and when I opened
it God as I have come to understand God over all of this time was there ready to
begin the relationship. I was elated, I was sad, I was needy, grateful, inquisitive,
excited, angry and always ready for the relationship. I sat at the knees of others who like this form told me about their awarenesses and understandings and I went outside of the program to the ancient peoples...the indigenous ones and I listened to the prayers of cultures with birth dates from the start of time, that time when "the creator"
was creating and I came to understand and then accept and then act as if I could
have "that" contact with my God, my creator, my Father that others spoke of and it
happened. It happened in my Al-Anon time, my Al-Anon life and much more happened during this time between Akua and myself. Akua is the name I use to
identify my understanding of all of those other descriptions I have of my Higher Power. It is from my discovery of how old I was, what time it was, where I was and
had gone to in desperate prayer at the age of 11. Akua...the God of all gods.
From this I also learned about "Na Amakua" those spirit forms of others who have
gone before me and are who are still here, available to me for my balance. Like
those living...you included these are the instruments of my HP...God...Akua Ma na wahi apau; God everywhere. My constant (24/7) meditation, arrived at in Al-Anon with the support of sponsorship is "God Is" and that is how it is expressed in the culture of
my spiritual birth at the age of 11. God is there, God is in the between and God is now and tomorrow. I have been attended by Akua and Na Amakua in hours of need
where others outside of my understanding have witnessed it also. I didn't need that
but...like this 2nd step work...We share our experiences with the hope that others
will also be blessed...is that not true?

The completion of the steps is in the 12th step; what do we do with this journey, this
story of our recovery experience? We become our HP's instruments. You have done
extreemly well. I am grateful beyond life itself. I now have one to be grateful in.

Mahalo Nui Loa...Akua Ma na wahii apau. Thanks alot...God is.

hotrod · Guru

Second Step "Came to Believe that a Power Greater Than Myself Could Restore Me to Sanity

.Great Shares I will just add that like many my idea of God has changed since I first entered these room. I do like the reading in the C2C that states: First I came (to meetings) then I came to(I became aware and out of denial and pretend) then I was able to believe.

When I first arrived at alanon many years ago I was very angry with God. He had not created the world to my liking!!!. It was too difficult and confusing and my rules did not work!!!. That attitude and alcoholism brought me to alanon "On MY Knees". When I walked in thru the doors of this program I was admitting I was powerless over alcohol(1st step) however because of my rage at God , the 2nd step seemed daunting. My sponsor suggested that I could use any concept of a Higher Power that would work for me. I decided that the tools and rooms of this program were a definitely a power greater than myself so that stumbling block was removed and I could proceed to utilize all the tools of this program. At one point in my journey the pain of this disease was so great that I cried out on my knees"If you exist!!! take this pain away" I fell asleep and when I awoke the pain was gone. I searched my being for all the HOT Spots and although the memories of the incidents remained the pain was gone. I do believe it was then that I had surrendered and my HP (that I now call GOD) was able to remove the anger, resentment, self pity and irrational fear. That was when I truly came to believe and held on to this program with such gratitude and peace.

I have grown up since entering alanon and now believe that the world does not revolve around me.

That my Higher Power will grant me Serenity, Courage and Wisdom to live my life for Spiritual growth.and in the 11 Step prayer.

I am truly grateful to this program I thank God for alanon and alanon for God.

Thanks for letting me share.

Betty

grainne mhaol · Member

For me, step 2 involved trust issues. I felt that I could believe that a higher power could restore me to sanity. This meant trust. I had always felt that I could only rely on myself and then I let myself down totally with alcoholism. I battled with controlling alcoholism for many years but had to gain the humility to realise that actually I could not do this on my own. The steps allow me to admit that I am powerless but step 2 lets me know that I am not alone and that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity, a second, a minute or a day at a time.

failte · Member

Jesus said "knock and the door will be opened" which means that if you ask him to come into your life, he will never refuse, but we must first ask, this could apply to any belief/God/HP that when we are ready and when we ask, they will come............

for me, at the times I kept away from God/religion/beliefs/HP was becasue my life was so messed up and tortured and I was no saint, I had hurt others around me, I believed that God wouldnt want to know me, wouldnt ever forgive me, was intent on sending me straight to hell, when a friend told me that God forgives, and has already forgotten our sins, I couldnt believe it, felt a huge weight lift off of me, felt free, to this day I still think its awesome that he has forgiven me, and then I had to go off and spend many years learning to forgive myself, God gave me a new life, to start all over, so this time I try not to mess up, or hurt myself or others, but, even if i do, he still understands and still forgives me,

failte

Desirae · Veteran Member

Thank you all for sharing your experience, strength, and hope! You are helping me stay honest with myself

Rainspa · Member

Here's step 2.

Our drinking experience has shown:
1.That as we strayed away from the normal social side of life, our minds became confused and we strayed away from the normal mental side of life.

2.An abnormal mental condition is certainly not sanity in the accepted sense of the word. We have acquired or developed a mental disease. Our study of A.A. shows that:
a.In the mental or tangible side of life we have lost touch with, or ignored, or have forgotten the spiritual values that give us the dignity of man as differentiated from the animal. We have fallen back upon the material things of life and these have failed us. We have been groping in the dark.

b.No human agency, no science or art has been able to solve the alcoholic problem, so we turn to the spiritual for guidance.
Therefore we "came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." We must believe with a great FAITH.

sunflowergirl · Member

"Came to Believe that a Power Greater Than Myself Could Restore Me to Sanity"
For me, my higher power is nature, life, kind of similar to a Native American spirituality, mixed with a little Buddism. I have found that the Universe will answer if I ask. I do believe that this fellowship of Alanon/ACOA/CODA/AA what have you is also a power greater than me. I can go on each day knowing that I have this program to help me and guide me. There is a power out there greater than me, and my HP helps me when I ask. Thank you

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.