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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> questions about sponser
Post Info TOPIC: questions about sponser
flagrl


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questions about sponser
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so i have heard that women with women and men with men. i am young, 21, i had a sponser but she just wasnt the right one for me.  there is this guy who ive known for a year he has great recovery and he is real great he has been part of my support group and has always been there for me. i have never thought of having a guy for a sponser. but a friend in my support group today asked me when am i going to ask him to be my sponser. and it kinda got me thinking. but i dont know if its smart to have a guy as a sponser. i think he would be a great one for me.so im asking what yall think? is it ok to have someone from the opposite sex as a sponser. 



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JamesCT


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It is possible but usually not suggested. Sometimes in recovery a person idealizes their sponsor in a way that develops a crush or a "love" for their sponsor when they are heterosexual and have a sponsor of the opposite sex. This then usually derails the working of the program. If you feel the need to pursue this, I would make sure both of you are aware of this risk and moreover promise to put the kibosh on any personal relating until your relationship as sponsor and sponsored is over with.

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DavidG


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 Opinion, not advice...

 

my Alanon sponsor was a woman...   sometimes i think... of yes i will meet my male sponsor... in about 163 years time..

 

the gender rule is a 'rule of thumb' and a good guide...

...things have changed today too... the sexes are a lot more equal. When i was young boys stuck with boys and girls with girls...

now there is a lot more social flow amongst the sexes... and a lot less frustration and animosity

 

an especially strong point is that your choice of sponsor is mandated by other members of your group... that is a strong point...

 

best of...

 

-D.



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