Tradition 2 ALANON

hotrod · Guru

Tradition 2 ALANON

DavidG · Senior Member

hotrod wrote:
TRADITION TWO (2)

For Our Group Purpose there is but One Authority, a loving God as He May Express Himself in Our Group Conscience. Our Leaders are But Trusted Servants They Do Not Govern.

Courage to Change Page 215

A long time ago I made a distinction between the word 'manage' and the word 'control'. Over time the idea of management took hold in my life- "Let go and let God".
Doing this excercise encourages me to reflect on the workings of group conscience over my years in Alanon. The actual group conscience meetings were very few and far between.
To discuss one would be a breach- but it was over something quite small.
My recovery experience has been about keeping groups going in rural community...
...I think I incorporate the traditions into everyday group activity. So there is time and space to kick back and reflect on what we are doing. For me this is a unifying factor... achieving at the same time serenity, emotional sobriety and maturity....
Last year I stood at the desk where the traditions were created. Bill's den he called "Wits End." Along the side of the desk were cigarette burns- where I suppose he burned the midnight oil.
It is my belief that Bill was a family member as well as an alcoholic. In many ways his struggle for identity mirrors my own and that of a lot of people I know.
I respect Lois and Bill deeply; and all of those who continue to carry the message.
I came into Alanon with a deep distrust of authority [with good reason!] And I had to translate that into peace of mind, and then serenity.
The slogan 'progress not perfection' is a big one for me... and it works at group level too.
It is good to join with you Betty, on this MIP forum and get a good sense of this.

Thanks so much for your time and for your service. :>)

David.

We strive to conduct our meetings as a fellowship of equals and to practice rotation of leadership. No single member has the right to take charge.
When I insist on having my way, I am tampering with the spiritual nature of AlAnon as a whole
Any attempt to manage or direct is likely to have disastrous consequences for Group Harmony

My Share
Here is another difficult concept for my black and white thinking mind. How cans this work? How can anyone trust that people will act in like manner or not try to manipulate me? My sponsor said: Keep an Open Mind and keep coming back. I did just that because I felt safe and understood in each meeting room that I attended. I saw that there was no exercise of power, that leadership changed monthly and that the group functioned by guidelines. If a disagreement occurred we held a Group Business meeting. At this meeting we each were expected to verbalize our needs and wants and then let other do likewise. After which we each expressed our thoughts we were expected to consider each point, keep an open mind as to the best interest of the group and then vote. Our principles required that we not vote because we liked the person presenting the idea or because it was our favorite idea. We needed to vote because the best interest of the group was all that counted. I watched and saw this in action at each meeting. It appears that because we have a common goal, recovery from the terrible pain of living with this disease, we know that we cannot disturb the spirit of the group. We must live by the principles expressed in the traditions.
The Second Tradition like the Second Step asks that we trust that there is a governing power in the universe that when connected to will offer guidance and solace in all our affairs.
Thanks for letting me share

hotrod · Guru

Hi David thank you for sharing your thougths on this tradition and your experiences of visiting Bill Ws home and seeing exactly where these traditions were developed

How wonderful You are a very fortunate man Appreciate your insighta

Wolfie55 · Member

Tradition 2 already. my how time flies. I wish I could say i have always trusted and supported my group officers, but I haven't and I have on occasion criticized them. I have also made that faux pas with newcomers and with old timers. I guess I'm not saintly yet. But with the guidance of others i am learning that although i may not agree with a certain suggestion that it is the general feeling of the group that it be done or not done in a certain fashion and that I should put aside my ego and go along with what everyone else is doing for the betterment of the group. I should have been a politician because I just said a mouthful without saying exactly what i was thinking.

I worked in a call center once and we had a lecture from the man in human resources. I wasn't paying much attention to what he said but I do recall one thing. He said that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. I guess thats being trustworthy, even in secret?

I have not done much "formal" service in this fellowship and the main reason for that is that i do a great deal of formal service work in another fellowship. My sponsor, the one that mattered the most to me got me working right away, setting up the meeting and cleaning the ashtrays after. He called it the ABCs of service (Ashtrays, Broomsticks, and Chairs). about a month later he suggested I make the coffee and of course I said but I already have a job; I stack the chairs. He was adamant though and suggested that maybe the guy who made the coffee needed to learn how to do my job. A few months later it was greeting and then I was secretary and then I chaired a meeting. I wasnt aware of it but my sponsor was introducing me to the spirit of rotation. he was showing me how to be a servant, and when they finally gave me the keys to the church so I could open the place up, it was then that I knew what it meant to be a trusted servant in one sense of the word and when I later served as a group representative and later a s a representative of my district.... I look back on it now, almost 15 years later, just blows me away... but I digress..

thanks again betty for giving me something useful to do

Desirae · Veteran Member

I just have to admit... I am sitting here chuckling at myself because I think I nodded my head till my neck hurt reading through your guys' shares...

As a matter of fact...

You have read my mind so well that I can't think of anything much to say!

(alright, I think I got my bearings here, I can probably squeeze out a few words):

I have yet to find anyone here who has "given me any reason" to feel as if my trust has ever been broken & I have yet to ever feel criticized by anyone here. But, did I criticize, judge, fear sharing my secrets? Of course I did! But I soon learned that I had no reason, not here, to treat other Al-a-family members that way. After all, I was surprised to find a fellowship that did not criticize me, they trusted me to be discreet, and did not share any of my thoughts "outside these walls" that I know of...

I mean WOW! This was the first time I was ever treated this way, and I feel like the only way I can "re-pay the favor" (for a lack of better words) is to give the same respect in return. I have become confident that I can hold myself to the ideas of this tradition here if/when I am confronted in a criticizing manner, or feel as if my trust has been broken in the future. I have been practicing these concepts with the world around me, inside & outside of these walls, and finding that everything runs so much smoother (go figure, right?). I don't feel as afraid of confrontation when I look at it from this point of view. (key words in this paragraph: "practicing these concepts"... because I believe: Practice may not make us perfect, but it can build our self confidence & help us feel a hell of a lot better in our relationships. After all, we are all perfectly "imperfect" human beings.)

David, thank you for bringing up the distinction between the words "manage", and "control". That really made me think, and I'm pretty sure it will continue to do so :)

Wolfie mentioned the quote: "I wasn't paying much attention to what he said but I do recall one thing. He said that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching." I have heard this before. It inspired me then, and it inspires me now. Thank you for the reminder :) I'm pretty sure that is gonna be the quote on my mirror in the hallway this week.

I am so grateful to have learned these things here!

Thank you so much for the insight on these traditions... I am still a toddler in Al-anon years, lol, but it is so good to finally begin to see the deeper meaning & truths behind these traditions. Thank you (((all))) so much for sharing! & thank you (((betty))) for your service

flopadopilus · Veteran Member

I love the ESH here and am so glad the traditions are there to help conduct us. I know as an Al-anoner I can try to fix and sometimes think I have all the answers and am grateful for the reminder to keep to my side of the street. I am glad that HP is the one authority. I too am a toddler in Al-anon, well maybe a baby yet, but am learning so much and am so grateful for the love and support found here also. Sending you all love and support!

hotrod · Guru

Hi Flop, Deseria and Bernie

Thanks for your keen insights into this Tradition

I too love the Traditions and believe they are as important to my recovery as the Steps.

Appreciate all of you

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.