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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> I'm new...
Post Info TOPIC: I'm new...
rollie


Newbie

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Posts: 1
Date:
I'm new...
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Hi,


I am new to all this and I thought it would be nice to share my story, although I am finding that everyone's story is very similar to mine. My husband, the addict, has been sober for over a year now. YEAH!!! Although he is not living the AA philsophy like he has in the past. But I thought I would feel better by now. He’s sober after all! But I still worry, I still cry, I still feel hopeless and we still struggle financially. I thought if he just sobered up that our problems would just disappear, but our relationship is still just as dysfunctional as ever.


My support group around me is very limited, to the point of nonexistant. Our families are all far away and we are new to the area and so I haven’t met anyone that I can trust. And so going to meetings is out of the question right now for I do not have anyone I can ask to take care of my baby during that time, nor can we afford day care.


I have read the posting about Step One and it all seems so easy. Can anyone help me go more in depth about how to accomplish step one? I am so confused as to how to start with this step.


I miss my husband, the man I fell in love with a few years ago. I knew going into the relationship that he was in recovery and about six months into our relationship he fell off the wagon. I suffered right along with him the consequences of his addiction. The threats of evictions, the loss of friends who were just tired of us and "our elephant in the room" that we wouldn't deal with it, our family was tired of the endless loans, etc. The only thing different was he was able to run away and numb those feelings with drugs.


I love him dearly, but I am sick of the "me,me,me" attitude that he carries with him. He’s done such horrible things to me such as missing the birth of our child and skipping out on me when I had to have surgery and left me alone for days with no family or friends to console me. I don’t know how to get past these things and forgive. All I have to do is look at our child and be reminded how scared and alone I was the day she came into the world.


Well, I guess I will end on the note. Any advice for this newbie?


Thanks for listening to my story.

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amanda2u2


Senior Member

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Posts: 228
Date:
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hi, rollie,,,  my only 'advice' is to look at our alanon board also, and to check out the  alanon chat room as there is usually a few people there and they have regular meetings. k?


amanda



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do your best and God does the rest, a Step at a time
bobl


Member

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Posts: 24
Date:
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Welcome rollie.

Like amanda said, check out the alanon board and also we have two online meetings every day, 9am and 9pm Eastern, M - Sat. (forget the sunday sched).

Also, how old is your baby? I've been to nuerous meetings where babies are brought. If they start to really cry or get fussy the person just excuses themselves.

This is a great place to be online and/or face to face. It's safe and you'll learn alot from the gamut of experience. From people that are here for the first time to those in program for ever. From those in their late teens to those well into retirement. It's amazing how this disease can bring so many divergent people together into a community of uncoditional love and support. I guess it's one of the bright side of the disease.

Bob

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lollyloopp


Member

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Posts: 8
Date:
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GOSH!!  I sure can relate to your story!


I am new hear and was reading thru the posts before introducing myself and felt compelled to reply to yours!


 


I too miss the man I fell in love with.  We have 4 kids together, the youngest is just 2 weeks.  I realized just how much I needed to "do something" about our situation since his birth 2 weeks ago.  We ran into complications and ended up with my first and only emergancy C-section.  This was also my first surgery and emergancy health situation ever.  It was very scary for me and I am pretty sure my A, my husband knew this.


Yet I feel he all but abandoned me when I needed his care and support.  My 9 year old son put forth more care, concern, and help than he has.  This has brought up some terrible feelings for me but has made me realize I do not want to continue to live this way.


I came hear o these boards for similar reasons too.  None of the meetings in my area are at times I am without children so it makes it hard to attend a ftof meeting.


I guess it goes to show what a small world we do live in.


I hope to see you around again soon!



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