Adult Children of Alcoholics: Step 3

JamesCT · Senior Member

Adult Children of Alcoholics: Step 3

Bea · Member

This was not as hard for me to do as I thought it would be...I feel like I have always had a personal relationship with HP but it was different than it is now...I agree with JamesCT that you have to want to get better. I have never been more committed to the process. I see things for the first time and I feel like my eyes are really open. I left a 15 year relationship/marriage and feel like I can breathe. I married an addict. I married the very type of person I never wanted to become but I realized that I was just as ill. I want a better life for me and my son.

I never believed how sick I was until I really started looking at all my behaviors for what they were...I started asking myself so many questions and for the first time I sat and was still. I learned to listen and receive. I learned to reach out and begin the process of asking God to help me hear what I needed to...it started in small steps and have gained so much momentum. I feel for the first time that I have hope. I need to work on reaching out more and not holding on to my feelings so tightly...I have been told that that will come in time.

Learning to let go and let God that it is okay for me not to be in control and that I cannot control everything around me. I am learning to say and feel that it is okay...huge breakthrough for me.

trisho · Newbie

I too am struggling. I turn over my contemplated divorce to my higher power and think I have the answer to what he desires for me but the next day my sick mind and recovering spouse take back over and tell me that maybe my alcoholic spouse will stay sober this time. I have heard the term "stinking-thinking" and believe that is what I suffer from. Each day I ask God, my Higher Power, for guidance as to his will not mine. Most days I feel I have accomplished this but the days when I am concerned, I really feel concern. Today, once again, I will turn my will and my life over to my higher power for direct guidance.

poppy18 · Member

When I am in a situation that I know is bad for me and the outcome can in no way be good, I hate having to pray about it, ask for forgiveness or guidance, and deal with the pain of the fall out. I hate, hate, hate it. Even if I know I will end up hurt for months and months when the situation is over, I still want it to go my way. Then I end up hiding those feelings of devestation from everyone and end up crying in the shower, the car or whenever I'm alone.

It stinks. It's what I'm going through now and it sure feels like rock bottom. And that's why I'm here.

But trusting myself or trusting other people to do what is best for me isn't working out so well. I know there's a God. I know He loves me. I know my will is not in sync with His right now.

So I am making the decision to turn my will over God. I am gritting my teeth as I type this. It's not going to be easy but I know it's necessary.

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