Step 5 AA

Admitted to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

HAVING MADE our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak times in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter.  Big Book pg 72

If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning.  Big Book pg. 71

What we  are doing in our 5^th step is admitting to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs there is no minimizing or justification read what you wrote down in your 4^th step.  When the specific instances we have written down and admitted are grouped into the basic categories of fear, resentment, pride, greed, anger, envy or whatever categories you choose we are admitting our defects.  What is the underling defect that caused me to do these wrongs, without blaming the disease, I was drunk/high at the time I wouldnt do that sober.  

Why must we admit these to another human being?  For me it is for accountability someone else knows my defects and is there to help and support us when needed and to point out when we begin to fall back into our old destructive ways.  It is a very difficult thing to tell someone our deep dark secrets but we must.  The following excerpt from the BB will explain why.

We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.  Big Book pgs 72 73

This is a spiritual program and our wrong and defects have been the handicaps that make a relationship with our higher power unusually difficult.  We cannot make spiritual progress beyond steps 2 and 3 before we admit these wrongs and defects to God, to ourselves and to another human being.

We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.  Big Book pg 75

I can testify from my experience that this is true.  I have written 3 4^th steps and given 3 5^th steps.  And after each one the statements above rang true in my life.  For me this brought me even further from the bondage of self that we ask for in the 3^rd step prayer.  I began to have a spiritual experience, the foundation of my continued recovery.  I knew I was no longer alone and isolated by my wrongs, defects, and handicaps. 

Please share your experience, strength and hope from your 5^th step.