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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Adult Children of Alcoholics: Step 6
Post Info TOPIC: Adult Children of Alcoholics: Step 6
JamesCT


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Adult Children of Alcoholics: Step 6
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6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

There is a saying by Samuel Butler:

He that complies against his will is of his own opinion still.

This is relevant to this step because until you're totally ready for your Higher Power to remove the defects of character, then any exercise is futile.  You must have reached the point where you're willing to give up anything to get relief.  You need to be willing to see yourself differently.  You need to be willing to change or discontinue relationships.  You need to be willing to do whatever is needed and then let the Higher Power show you what is needed.

People pleasing is a laundry list component that I had come to see as a positive trait.  I had to be willing to give that up.  That was hard.  But it has been better for me to give that up.  But it wouldn't have happened unless I was willing.  Search yourself.  And if there's something you're holding onto, question it.



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ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope) for ACoA may be shared at http://acoa.activeboard.com .
flopadopilus


Veteran Member

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Posts: 55
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My people pleasing has become a problem again and I end up selling myself short and getting resentments over this one again and again. I ended a relationship recently because I lose strength and become too submissive in relationship, which helps no one. I am trying to find a way to be strong and have a relationship and I know diving into my program is the only way to get past this. I am handing this over to my HP and not taking it back.

I also get angry when I am rushed into a decision and need to better back off and say I need time to ruminate on this information. Things from choldhood like these 2 have taken lots of work and I am getting better but still resurface.

__________________

FLOP,

"Recovery isn't winning, it's not playing" and "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real

INSANITY = doing the same thing over nad over again and expecting different results.
DavidG


Senior Member

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Posts: 168
Date:
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I thought that I had to stop people pleasing, period.

sometimes it helps to do some [um I am trying to think of a phrase

which is not rude...] er... small talk, oiling the wheels etc etc...

 

I think it is where we try too hard. do it all the blimmin time...



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