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Post Info TOPIC: Step 4 Question


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Posts: 2
Step 4 Question

What does "exact nature of our wrongs" mean?

If i am a perfectionist - is it because i was taught to be that way?

Any esh?




Senior Member

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Posts: 228

well..  I might want to generalize and just say that..  I'm not perfect, but then nobody is perfect,, and so there is nothing there that I really have to work on.

and I might want to say,,  well...  maybe I kind of goofed up there,,,  but that doesn't give me a handle on anything to work on either.

I could say that I'm generally a procrastinator,,, and that gives me something to work on generally,,  but it is still vague.

However,,, if I admit that I get to work late almost every day,,, that is more exact and gives me a real concrete thing to work on.

if I admit that I am too perfectionistic with my children that gives me something more specific to work on. I really hollered at my youngest one this morning when she tried to make breakfast and the toast came out too dark.

if I admit that I goofed up last week when I promised to get the car washed and vacuumed and it is not done yet,,, that is more exact.

There could be various reasons why a person is perfectionistic, so would have to know more.

The AA 12 Step book gives an outline about how to do the 4th Step,,, and we just put that up,,,,  it would prolly be helpful to scroll back a bit and review the posts on the 4th Step.

love in recovery,


do your best and God does the rest, a Step at a time


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Posts: 2

Thanks Amanda,

I understand better that getting specific with it is what matters. If i procrastinate paying bills and get a late charge - that's my fault - not the creditor's.  If I'm a perfectionist and got mad at my kid for not cleaning the kitchen "good enough" then it's my warped perfectionist thinking that is wrong - not the kid's fault - I'm sad to say.

Thanks for your input.


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