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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> Alanon Step 7
Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 7
hotrod


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Alanon Step 7
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Step 7

Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings---

 From Alanon  :   Reaching for Personal Freedom

When we humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings, we admit that our power is limited. Although we may achieve some changes on our own, we come to realize that genuine transformation is only possible through a Power greater than ourselves. It was a humbling experience to learn that I could not remove my shortcomings. I appreciated how one speaker explained that character defects get in our relationship with God and other people. I strive every day to keep a close relationship with my HP, especially when the old familiar anxiety creeping I ask God to help me accept my powerlessness and remove my need to control in order to feel valued and loved.

My share

This again sounds like a very simple declarative sentence. Short and sweet. Looking at the words I see the first word humbly. Before Al-Anon I could never have humbly asked for anything. My arrogance, pride, ego would never permit me to admit I needed help. Working the steps enabled me to become humble enough to ask for help, accept that I was human and that no man is an island unto himself. Humble merely meant I could not do something that only God could do. How arrogant of me to not accept this. I readily asked my God to help me be rid of the destructive tools in my life. What a great feeling that was. On to step eight

Step seven questions

When I feel the need to control some line or something what does it tell me about myself?

How does my shortcomings affect my relationship with others and my higher power?

What experiences helped me be more open to the role of my higher power in my life?

How did I find inability to ask God to remove my shortcomings?

How has the pain caused by my shortcomings brought me the ability I need to ask for help?

What obstacles have I faced in working step seven?

What helps me to hold habit in check and recognize an opportunity for personal growth?

 



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Betty
grateful2be


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Thank you for your experience shared here, Betty. I thought Step 7 was something I would have to work a few times and that would be it - presto - I'd be healed of all defects. I have experienced that initial belief to be erroneous. No matter how much I've grown or been transformed, there is still more. I will never outgrow my need to ask my HP for help in removing shortcomings that get in the way of loving relationships. At this stage in my life, I think that is a very good thing - knowing I will never outgrow my need for HP.

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hotrod


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Hello Catherine Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom on this Step. I do agree, I will never be recovered enough not to need to ask HP to show me the defects that I am blind to and then help me to let them go.

This is a one day at a time program and I am so glad we are sharing this journey.



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Betty
flopadopilus


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When I feel the need to control some line or something what does it tell me about myself? That I am feeling triggered about something and need to look at myself more clearly. I slow down and figure out what is bothering me and what is mine to control and change and what I need to let go and let God with.

How does my shortcomings affect my relationship with others and my higher power? They get in the way and when I become aware of this, I humbly ask my HP to take my shortcomings and ask God to place me where he wants me.

What experiences helped me be more open to the role of my higher power in my life? When I was trying to control everything my life was a miserable mess, but as I discovered a loving God and put trust that the world wouldn't end if I released it all to him to handle, life got easier and I got more focused on being a healthier me.

How did I find inability to ask God to remove my shortcomings? I had pride and ego and some of my shortcoming were survival skills that helped me to make it through a tough childhood and I knew I would miss them, but they no longer helped me and actually chained me to my past.

How has the pain caused by my shortcomings brought me the ability I need to ask for help? Holding onto these things because it was my old comfortable normal was what I wanted to, but I wanted to change and be free even more and so I did the work.

What obstacles have I faced in working step seven? Change is tough and letting go of some shortcomings really makes you realize who you are, who you want to be and what work you need to put in to become the person you dream of being.

What helps me to hold habit in check and recognize an opportunity for personal growth? After learning my first most natural response kept me living in the insanity of old. I learned to stop and think and not react. it is now more natural to not react, not respond with words and to take some time and figure out the next right thing.


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FLOP,

"Recovery isn't winning, it's not playing" and "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real

INSANITY = doing the same thing over nad over again and expecting different results.
hotrod


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Dear Flop I truly appreciate your ESH.
Thanks for being here.



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Betty
f2fmember


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Thank you for being here x I found this study of step 7 really helpful x

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Progress not Perfection
Debb


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When I feel the need to control some line or something what does it tell me about myself? When I feel the need to control someone or something, I am compelled to take a step back and in retrospect look at why must I control, is it necessary, is it my right, is it the right thing to do; especially when it comes to AH. These are the times I do talk to HP and ask for his help and guidance, because I firmly believe that when it comes to AH and his drinking, there is no controlling it. I must accept and move on with my life Al Anon, MIP and HP ... are helping me to heal!!

How does my shortcomings affect my relationship with others and my higher power? No doubt that my fears of the unknown and of making mistakes, that I tend to beat myself up over (I am my own harshest critic) are my biggest and worst shortcomings. Whether it is working, marital, familia or friendships, always being afraid to say or do the wrong things is, without a doubt, a heavy burden to carry. Al Anon has taught me why I have had such difficulties with these shortcomings and has guided me to find the answers as to why I am so plagued with these fears. It has been revelating for sure and relying on HP and talking with MIP Service and Senior Members has helped me to understand and release most of my fears. It has taken years to acquire them and my hope is that it will not take years to lose them!!

What experiences helped me be more open to the role of my higher power in my life? My experience with the solid knowledge that HP has brought me here to this given time via the happy and the difficult times because this is the way it is suppose to be!! I cherish the happy times and I am a much better person due to the difficult times!

How did I find inability to ask God to remove my shortcomings? Hard to admit one has shortcomings, but once I realized that the difficult times were made all the more difficult because of my pride ... it is now easier to look within myself and ask HP for help.

How has the pain caused by my shortcomings brought me the ability I need to ask for help? Realizing no one is an island and everyone needs help at various times in their lives and holding on to my ego, pride and fear only holds me back from growing and accepting that this is my life with all it's shortcomings, if I am going to make it a success I have to take responsibility for the parts of me that need to change.

What obstacles have I faced in working step seven? I still have work to do with building my confidence, which is the force behind my fears.

What helps me to hold habit in check and recognize an opportunity for personal growth? The realization that if I am to make a success of my life, that I will have to face those fears of failure, loss and mistakes and rely on HP that he has greater plans for me to grow and prosper.



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Debbie
hotrod


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Dear Debbie Thanks for the well thought out share on this Step. Your honesty and acceptance is an important part of recovry and you are on your way.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts

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Betty
JillA


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I wanted to share about hese two questions posed:

What obstacles have i faced in workng Step 7? While i am fully willing to let the defects of character go, i do feel a momentary hestiance in the process. I know that i am in a situation presented to me by my HP to practice ridding myself of a certain defect, i know i want to, i know i will, but there is that voice in my head trying desperately to hold me back. That part wants to stay in the safety and comfort of my old ways. 

What helps me to hold habit in check and recognize an opportunity for growth? my intuition/gut/whatver you want to call it is quite strong, even though i often ignore it. But when faced with an opportunity deep down i i feel it. i must practice listening to this and acting accordingly. It is this sensation that wakes me up in the moment. When i listen i feel relief, when I don't i feel discomfort. 

 

Thanks for listening



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hotrod


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Hello Jill , Thanks for taking the time to respond. The process works and I am pleased that you have witnessed the ability to change . It is more comfortable to remain in our old ways but as you indicated, the challenge to let go and move forward beckons.
Keep coming back.

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Betty
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