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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> New and need help!!
Post Info TOPIC: New and need help!!
Haymond9007


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New and need help!!
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Hello!

First, I want to apologize if I'm on the incorrect forum today. I'm new to this forum and I'm wanting to share my story and seek advice. I've been in and out of Alanon activity for about two years. I have read a lot of material and been to meetings. I have recently felt stronger about myself and not let my husband's drinking make me feel bad about who I am. But yesterday, after his actions, I feel it's time to act and I'm not sure how or maybe even when.

My name is Amy and I'm 41 years old. My husband and I have been married for 19 years. We have two children, boy 15 and girl 12. I'm a codependent for sure though I've worked thru a lot of that.

When I met my husband, he had been out of rehab for about 6 months. We married 2 years later. We were married for about 5 years and he was sober...(I think) He said to me one day that he felt like he could enjoy a beer every now and then as his lifestyle was much different now and he could handle it. Me not being very educated in alcoholism, I agreed and that's when it all began.

At first, it wasn't an issue or at least I didn't think so at the time. My husband is a good man with a good heart. He's never been physically abusive. He's a hard worker and has always had a job. I guess with work history, he's a functioning drunk. Not so much at home. He's kind of like one of the kids, though he's the child that could be classified as the spoiled brat. He has tantrums when things don't go his way. He will put his needs first over the children's and so on as an alcoholic. 

About 7 years ago he picked up my son from school while drunk. Yesterday, he picked my daughter up from a friend's house while drunk. The only reason I know is because he had pulled over to use the restroom and my daughter called me crying because she was scared that dad was drinking. Thank God, as with my son that day 7 years ago, they made it home safely.

Every bone in my body tells me it's time to leave him. I have a good job and friends and family that will support me thru this if I choose to do so. But I do need some strength to change my family life. I'm hoping to get support thru this forum. If anybody can give some advice, I would be most grateful!

 

Amy

 



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flopadopilus


Veteran Member

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Posts: 55
Date:
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Hi there, I am glad you found us and since this is the step board, I am going to give you a link to the al-anon side that you can click on and copy and paste this into a new post there and find the support of our MIP family there. Keep coming back!

alanon.activeboard.com/f94433/al-anon-family-group/



-- Edited by flopadopilus on Saturday 24th of May 2014 02:21:15 PM

__________________

FLOP,

"Recovery isn't winning, it's not playing" and "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"

F.E.A.R. = false evidence appearing real

INSANITY = doing the same thing over nad over again and expecting different results.
Haymond9007


Newbie

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Posts: 2
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Thanks so much for the link!

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green girl


Newbie

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I'm new also just realizing after our last fight that I need to change, that I can't change my husband, can't convince him to stop drinking. He doesn't take me seriously when I tell him his drinking has a negative impact on me. I'm realizing that I don't deserve the negative impact and I need to change and find ways to set boundaries and stick to them. And find the serenity to not let his actions destroy my peace of mind and stability. So far I just ignore him but that doesn't seem like a long term solution....Thanks for sharing and listening.

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hotrod


Guru

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Posts: 1023
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Welcome GreenGirl

Alanon face to face meetings are held in most communities Please check the white pages for the hot line number and call. Alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease over which we are powerless. Living with the disease,(as you have found), causes us to develop negativea response system that does not serve us and that we need help to change. Alanon is that program of recovery Please check it out.
We also we have a chat room, meeting room and Message Board available on the following link

alanon.activeboard.com/f94433/al-anon-family-group/
Please keeep coming back

__________________
Betty
nanouk


Newbie

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Posts: 1
Date:
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Hi,

I am so happy I found your site...not much help is available out here for us and Al Alanon is desperately what I am looking for...I have to admit, I have no clue where to start. I copied this: but dont know where to place it...where to do my homework? Help/guide me please!!!

Nanouk/Josée

Why is it difficult to admit my powerlessness?

How do the effects of the disease of alcoholism make my life unmanageable?

What keeps me holding on to the illusion that I have the power to change someone else?

In what way does my denial hamper my ability to let go of people places and situations?

How does step one change my perspective about the disease of alcohol is?

How does step one help me to let go of misplaced blame and undeserved shame?

What tools are Al-Anon program do I use to find serenity when my life has become unmanageable?

__________________
Josee Parisien
hotrod


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1023
Date:
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Hi Nanuok
You can post your responses to the following addy alanon step 1 page 2


If you would like to connect with an alanon Message Board go to this addy

alanon.activeboard.com/



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Betty
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