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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Step Work -> Step Work -> New Member: Need to get going to Recovery
Post Info TOPIC: New Member: Need to get going to Recovery
smarie50


Newbie

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New Member: Need to get going to Recovery
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Hi,

I have come to alanon for help with myself.I have been to 7 face to face meeting, doing the phone bridge, but I want to get started with the 12 steps....Can I do this online ? I find the F2F meeting make me feel like a loser.

  I come from a dysfunctional family  mother is controlling, father silent treatment & also married into family of alcoholics & addicts(husbands father died of alcoholism). Been married long time...moved away to detach for sanity thought getting distance was the solution! My kids were ostracized because of our choice and the grandparents also talk negatively about myself & my husband. We have worked hard to teach our kids about the disease of alcoholism When they were teenagers, I caught them smoking pot & put them in an teenage intervention program to teach them about the harm of drug use. That being said, one of my kids has the disease. He is an addict, has broken my heart and is causing me extreme stress. This has brought up many of the unresolved resentments, anger and blame I have towards the families of origin. I believe in no secrets and  I  shared my concerns & anxiety about my child to my mother & certain family members & I think they feel it is what I deserve for leaving. I was told that once you leave you could never come back & that this is what happens without family !

I want to relieve my mind , body & spirit from the pain of this disease. I need courage to find peace in my life. I feel lost & useless with no self esteem left.

I hate having to share this feelings all the time with my husband as he doen't want to live with the pain. He always tells me "It could always be worse"

Help

 

 



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hotrod


Guru

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Welcome Smarie I can so identify with your share and would like to welcome you. You are not alone.

This Step Board is only visited from time to time with people who want to share on a Step We have a main alanon Board which is visited often where you will receive the support you deserve.

This is the address
alanon.activeboard.com/
Keep coming back there is hope

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Betty
Lyne


Member

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Posts: 20
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Hi Smarie~I think if you feel like a "loser" I would try different meetings until you feel welcome, understood, and supported. I have always felt accepted at my F2F, and I know each one is different.

Initially I was just going to use the board to get better. It certainly helped but it wasn't enough. And then as I got involved it seemed like I was supposed to do more and more things to get better. Well, after about a year and a half in program, I have gone from a depressed, obsessed, miserable human being, to a fairly happy person and I still live with my A. Using the F2F meeting, a sponsor, reading daily, and this great board when I have time, I have become one of these very grateful alanon members. So I can suggest that get as involved as you can, because recovery is possible. And people who know what you are going through, and have been through the same, offer a tremendous opportunity to get well, not perfect, but so much better. Lyne :)

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Katrina324


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Welcome Smarie,
I'm new here too, doing the online steps, beginning with step one. I went to a face to face meeting, only one and felt like I was being encouraged to stay in the relationship, and then my boyfriend who is a heavy drinker, told me that Al anon meant I was helping him get well. Oh boy. I got confused by what al anon meant, so I stopped going and this site has clarified things for me and my situation. I haven't seen my boyfriend since I found him intoxicated, stumbling around on Christmas Day. Handsome, successful and charming by day, drinks at night, living a double life. He's doing AA now, but I'm not so sure if he's really "doing" the steps. Here to detach from what he is or is not doing and work on me. I plan to be on the online chat tonight, hope to see you!
Kat

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Aj1002


Newbie

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Posts: 1
Date:
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I am new to this... I have never done drugs nor drink... but for sure had a dysfunctional childhood... and my friend said I might be co-dependent. can anyone recommend a sponsor or some book I can read to reframe my thinking.

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