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Post Info TOPIC: Step 9 Alanon (8-31-2018)


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Step 9 Alanon (8-31-2018)

Step 9   Made direct amends to such people where ever possible except when to do so would injure  them or others



My share  It was suggested that I place myself at the top of the amends list as i had hurt myself f as badly as others.. The defects that i operated under in my personal life were the internal defects that I used to keep myself in check.  In the beginning this was a difficult task and i dedicated  an entire year to making these amends to myself.  I attended meetings, spoke to my sponsor and other members,  examined my motives and truly attempted to uncover my negative tools  After a year i moved on to  my list and kept on using my new alanon tools to govern my thoughts and actions 
I reviewed the people on the list, approached the easier ones first ( after much practice) I was then able to reach out and own my part  in many of my  long held disagreements.  As The reading suggests It was not about  saying "I am sorry"  it is about changing   attitudes and responses.  This became possible with the removal of my many negative coping tools which I am happy  say were lifted in n Step 6 and 7
Step 9 questions


1. Have you made any amends to other people yet? How did this feel?

2. If you are ready, set some amends goals. For instance, name the people to whom you would like to make amends. Set a reasonable deadline and a goal for apologizing, wherever that is appropriate. Be as specific or as general as you want. You may want to make your goal "to become aware of the people I owe apologies to, and then make those amends." Or you may have a list of names and incidents and want to set a deadline for talking to these people.

3. What is the relationship that is bothering you the most right now? What do you need to do to take care of yourself in that relationship? What would you say if you were free to be entirely honest with that person about your behaviors, your feelings, and what you wanted and needed? How have you discounted yourself or not owned your power in that relationship? How have you discounted or devalued the other person?

4. What is the biggest guilt you have right now? Using the steps as a formula, how can you deal with that, so you can be done with the guilt?


 Can I put myself at the to of this amend list?
What are  my motives for making  amends ?





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